..........................................................................................................................................................................................................

interviews & features | dvds | equipment | clothing | books | videos

breaking news

due to events outwith my control, for the next couple of days, i will be taking a break from these scribbles, for which you will doubtless be forever grateful. all should return to some sense of normality by friday. i appreciate your patience. (nothing sinister; just stuff.)

tuesday 31 march 2026

a change is as good as a bad idea

in 1891, willie campbell created an 18-hole links golf course at machrie on islay along with an adjacent hotel. nowadays, those are situated between the village of port ellen and the international airport at glenegedale. following campbell's initiation of golf on islay, the newly designed course officially opened in 1883, hosting a match between campbell and open golf champion, willie fernie. the hotel, meanwhile, was converted from a simple farmhouse, undergoing several transformations during the 20th century, including a forced change in the 1970s, when a local farmer reclaimed some original land.

when i first moved to the island in 1987, the hotel was owned by murdo macpherson, a fellow who was a bit of a character, and made for a slightly eccentric mine host. the hotel's dining room had been converted from the original cattle-byre, retaining the individual stalls which featured as low, tactile walls between tables. the internal layout was almost as eccentric as the inimitable mr macpherson, as proved by the less than direct corridor leading from reception to the simple function room at the rear. murdo sold up in the 1990s, a euphemism for apparently having made a midnight flit due to impending insolvency.

it was taken over by an investor based in the isle of man, who failed to make any notable improvements, and ultimately the machrie hotel once again, in 2010, entered administration. after many a rumour about high profile purchasers, including glasgow rangers football club, it was eventually purchased in 2011 by so-called power-couple, gavyn davies and baroness sue nye. davies' early claim to fame was as chairman of the bbc from 2001 to 2004. under this new ownership, the original frontage was retained, but the building behind was demolished, then extensively remodelled and expanded, creating thoroughly modern accommodation, with apparently little expense spared.

except they seem to have forgotten to include a dedicated function room.

however, despite departing the hotel following staff christmas lunch in 2019, past four helicopters parked on the lawn, the hotel still haemorrhages money, leading to its incorporation into the portfolio of another place, a joint investment vehicle owned by will ashworth, gavyn davies and sue nye. the machrie and the lake in ullswater became two properties under the auspices of another place, along with the watergate bay hotel in cornwall. however, while the first two have been subsumed by the another place banner, the latter appears to have escaped the branding. since becoming a part of the another place brand, the machrie name has been literally minimised; above an image of the hotel, all adverts have been boldly headed another place, while the machrie appears in a far smaller point size.

islay, however, is not a place where such marketing ploys are inclined to work well, particularly when imposed by mainland-based corporations. though ardbeg distillery/glenmorangie have rebranded the former islay hotel as ardbeg house, pretty much everyone refers to it as the islay. and locally, the machrie is still the machrie, with another place ommitted altogether unless invoked for humorous intent. there's a shop in main street which is still referred to as mary woodrow's, the newsagent who moved away from the island decades ago. debbie's hasn't been owned by debbie for many a long year.

omloop het volk originated in 1945 as omloop van vlaanderen. by 1947, it was named after the newspaper initiating the original event, het volk, but in 2009, that newspaper was bought by het nieuwsblad resulting in a re-naming of the event. it was several years before a majority began using the new appellation. now the esteemed gent-wevelgem has been summarily, and essentially unnecessarily, become in flanders fields, entirely because the town of middlekerke has made a deal with race organiser, flanders classics, to have the race start in the town every year until 2036. but, in fact, even gent wevelgem didn't start in gent, having begun in deinze since 2003, and moved to ypres in 2020. the race was founded in 1934, and this is the first name change in 92 years.

we've all become inured to changing standards in headsets and bottom brackets, electrification of gearsets and moving from rim brakes to hydraulic discs. i can scarcewly cope with all that, but just leave the races well alone: paris-roubaix last started in paris in 1966; would you change the name of the oldest race on the calendar, liège-bastogne-liège to anything else? and despite a predilection for starting the three grand tours in different countries every second year, has anyone suggested changing the titles of le tour de france, il giro d'italia and la vuelta?

i certainly hope not.

tuesday 31 march 2026

versatility

though so far, all has come to nought, a few weeks ago, i removed the chainset from my corroded ritchey logic to replace the bottom bracket bearings. whether for genuine technical reasons, or simply to be different, campagnolo affix the bearings to the inner faces of the two crank arms, meaning the bearing cups are purchased as threaded, empty shells. there is a certain logic to their ministrations, for with sram and shimano, when their bearings need replacing, it becomes a case of purchasing new bottom bracket outboard bearing cups and throwing the old ones in the bin. i daresay it's possible to extricate the bearings in some way or another, but that seems like a somewhat redundant pursuit.

removing the bearings from a campagnolo crankset, as you'd expect from vicenza, requires specific tools: a bearing puller and a bearing press. for reasons that have been explained to me, but which i failed to comprehend, the drive side bearing is held on the bracket hal-spindle by means of a split retaining clip, which must be removed before attempting to pull the bearing free. the bearing on the non-drive crank arm can be simply pulled off the spindle with the bearing puller. with the correct tools, a bit like campagnolo's eywateringly expensive chain rivet tool, carrying out the above procedure is fairly simple, one that becomes easier the more often you do it.

i cannot deny that re-assembling the hirth coupling is a bit of a faff, trying to ensure both halves of the crankset match inside the bb shell with the cranks at 180 degrees from each other and close enough to allow the securing bolt threads to gain purchase. because it's inside the bb shell, there's no means of making visual judgment. but on the contrary, both shimano and sram sport external crank bolts, either clamp style (shimano), or self-extracting (sram). on my specialized crux, the praxis crankset has the self-extractor on the drive-side, while sram opted for the opposite. either way, crank removal is both obvious and simple.

unless the frame features press-fit bearings.

that last statement is a tad false, for the crank removal process is still the same, but getting the bearings in and out is a tad more brutal. no doubt there is a specific removal tool which would ease the bearings from their spaces in the frameset and leave them intact, but if they're being replaced, i can see no collateral damage to simply hammering them out with a punch. which is precisely what i did last time round. unfortunately, fitting the replacements requires a bearing press configured in similar manner to a headset press, which i found to present a greater level of faff than did campagnolo.

though press-fit bottom bracket bearings are still a thing, they're not as much of a thing as was the case in the middle of last decade. decathlon's van rysel still feature press-fit bearings on their all-road frames, but specialized and others have possibly seen the error of their ways, resuming fitment of outboard cups after only a couple of years. though my crux has aluminium frame inserts into which the bearings are seated, the big problem with many press-fit bearings was the inability of carbon fibre to be moulded into a perfect circle. this often meant that, under the normal pressures that can be exerted by a powerfully driven crankset, the bearings creaked, a bug for which there was no satisfactory remedy.

i have read comment that purported to show press-fit to be a better theoretical solution than offered by the more common outboard cups; i am insufficiently well-informed to know if that truly is the case, but there's no denying that press-fit is decidely less common nowadays. but what of those of us who own press-fit frames, but would prefer not to? in my case, the specialized was sent for review, but anyone who purchased any one of a variety of specialized offerings between 2014-2016, or bicycles from others (trek and cannondale spring to mind), might well be wishing there was a way to convert those frames to more standard fare.

however, if the frame is carbon only, any threaded insert that might have been made available would surely suffer from the same creaks and groans engendered by the bearings themselves? in the case of the specialized's aluminium insert, i daresay it would have been possible to create those with threads into which a thin liner could have been fitted, but that would pre-suppose that the manufacturer would have foreseen the apparent shortcomings that brought them swiftly back to outboard cups. and therein lies one of the problems of contemporary bicycle manufacture; lack of versatility. the same could be said of the current crop of integrated headsets; in the good old days of yore, pretty much any make of headset could be fitted to steel, aluminium or carbon frames, but, as my friend learned recently, the headset on his specialized diverge seems only to accept proprietary bearings. and as has always been the perceived problem with headsets of that type, if the integrated cups are damaged in any way, the frame's pretty much toast.

with an honours degree in hindsight, it would have made a lot of sense to have standardised the bottom bracket shell around the so-called english thread, ensuring a degree of future-proofing. if press-fit was genuinely the future, they could surely have been accommodated with threaded inserts? and while i'm sure that integrated headsets make the manufacturing process a tad more convenient, the old notion of top and bottom cups inserted into the head tube might have made better sense.

come the revolution...

monday 30 march 2026

long time coming

billy connolly, famous for many things in his life, is well remembered north of the border for pointing out that scotland has but two seasons: july and winter. less memorably, i apparently wrote that summer was my favourite day of the year (i really did, but i don't actually recall doing so). those of us in the hebrides have tried hard to maintain a stoic optimism, by foretelling that due to a particularly cold, wet and windy winter so far (probably the longest winter in recent memory), we're surely bound to have a hot, dry, sunny summer. but such has been the trend of recent years, that i'm not sure anyone actually believes it will be so.

we have previously spoken of the paranoia that would contend the weather remains relatively benign during the week, saving its wrath for the weekends, when most of us have the opportunity to head out on the bike. that paranoia is a long way from disappearing. conditions such as those of which i speak can be seen as verging on the dangerous; two friends of mine, better able to cope with strenuous distances, recently undertook to ride in relay for kilchoman distillery from the scottish borders to dublin in order to raise funds for the my name'5 doddie charity supporting research into motor neurone disease.

doddie was the nickname of former scottish rugby player, george weir. making 61 international apperances across a successful rugby career, he was diagnosed with the disease in 2016 and sadly died in november 2022 at the age of 52. the charitable foundation that exists in his name has raised in excess of £8 million, and this year's charity bike ride ended in dublin on the eve of the scotland v ireland match. however, though we have experienced some ferocious winds and horizontal rain on islay since new year, the conditions the doddie riders met en-route to wales to board a ferry for ireland were apparently every bit a match for island conditions.

i believe the selfsame billy connolly perceptively pointed out that there was no such thing as bad weather, only poor choice of clothing. that particular observation is certainly true up to a point, but when i first arrived in the hebrides almost forty years ago, laphroaig distillery was promoting an advertising campaign which maintained that it was possible to experience all four seasons in one day, a truism to which i can attest at first hand. it's situations such as that which can make for living/cycling dangerously. i can think of several weekends in very recent memory where we were guilty of dressing on sunday for the conditions we met on saturday, only to be proved completely wrong. cold and wet on saturday does not necessarily entail the same on the sabbath.

for the reasons outlined above, my sunday ride colleagues and i possess a substantial amount of cycling apparel, not so much because we are wealthy or acquisitive, but subject to a persistent need to be versatile in our velocipedinal couture. never has the concept of layering been more pertinent; saturday's ride took place in heavy hail showers, interrupted by longer periods of bright, and frequently warm sunshine. unfortunately the latter punctuations were rarely long enough to enable completion of a ride before becoming cold and wet. whoever invented the thermal gilet to be worn 'neath a goretex jacket, deserves our hearty approbation.

having lost an hour's sleep last night, april fool's day only a few days away and the annual duck derby on easter sunday, the hope of warmer days has been a lengthy one. my garmin thermometer has reached double digits on only two or three days this year, making it a forlorn thought that i might be able to stow my winter kit till cyclocross season begins later this year. however, at the risk of miscasting the activity of cycling, we should consider it to be a broad church, providing opportunities rather than obstacles. a drumming friend of mine has always said that, for him, technique is not about how fast he can play paraddidles, but how easily he can get himself out of the sh*t he gets himself into.

perhaps we should look at cycling in a similar light? rather than considering bike handling to be the art of remaining upright when the road takes an unexpected turn, i prefer to define it as the achievement of arriving at my intended destination no matter the weather conditions through which i have to pedal. if climate change follows the path science dictates it will, being blown from pillar to post while being precipitated upon, might soon become a year-round reality.

summer might become your favourite day too.

kilchoman distillery my name'5 doddie just giving page

today's monologue is brought to you by frank sinatra's songs for swingin' lovers, celebrating its 70th anniversary; originally released in 1956.

sunday 29 march 2026

righting on the wall

it has been often said that the best bike for the job is the bike you have right now, which, if true, threatens to undermine the endless procrastination beloved of many of us (self included). because unless the bicycle (or bicycles) you already possess are essentially unfit for purpose, what is wrong with undertaking whatever it is you feel you have to do, on the first bike you reach for from the bike shed? obviously enough, this doesn't apply to the professional classes, or even the intrepid amateur if about to undertake a competitive event. heaven forbid that a wednesday evening time-trial be ridden on a full-suspension mountain bike, or the unbound gravel attempted on a carbon time-trial bike. but for those of us less likely to arrive home with a yellow jersey, it's important to know or to learn that, while the industry proffers mtb, gravel, road, cyclocross and all-road versions of the double-diamond frame, they do so for their benefit, not necessarily yours.

but, if you have the shed space and the financial wherewithal to acquire one of each, don't let me be the one to stop you.

however, two volumes detailing the adventures of the rough stuff fellowship, published by isola press, would soon disavow you of the belief that even extreme adventures by bicycle are predicated entirely on owning a well-specced gravel or mountain bike. there are acres of documented evidence proving that cyclists in the mid-20th century simply grasped the proverbial bull by the horns, and traipsed some of the more obscure corners of europe on more or less standard touring or road bikes.

and in the first decade of this century, the much missed and lamented rapha continental specifically set out to ride many of the gravel roads of north america aboard custom-built steel bicycles equipped only with rim brakes and 28mm continental tyres. yes, they suffered punctures, but if memory serves correctly, no more so than those who nowadays ride gravel tyres across remarkably similar terrain. yet nowadays, arrive on the startline of any uci accredited gravel race aboard a 25mm shod road bike, and, unless you're tadej pogacar, wout van aert, or mathieu van der poel, you'd probably find yourself the subject of ridicule. meanwhile, british cyclocross champion, scot, cameron mason, recently undertook the 213km john muir way, not on a cyclocross or even a gravel bike, but on a canyon aeroad fitted with the widest tyres the frame would accommodate.

granted, if it's serious adventure you're after, attaching luggage to the likes of a colnago y1rs or a cervelo s5 might be a tad less simple than to a ritchey montebello, or dawes galaxy (if they still made them), but where there's a will, there's probably a cheaper way than buying a new bike. accepting that to be the case, however, as mentioned above, undermines the often joyous pursuit of choosing what sort of bike to buy, purely for the sake of buying a new bike. though the latter is not a practice i have been in the habit of pursuing, i cannot say the same when it comes to drums or cymbals. many of those i own were manifestly unnecessary purchases, but ones for which i could always find some obscure justification. (it's perfectly possible that pat metheny could phone at anytime and ask me to provide percussive nuance to his next world tour. well isn't it?) one has to be prepared for all eventualities.

for many, it's the thrill of the chase, ignoring the perfectly acceptable capabilities of the current bicycle du jour in order to justify acquisition of something new that will be little better, but undoubtedly more expensive than the bike(s) that sits in the bikeshed. i am convinced that such is the case, because bicycle advertising, in the uk at least, is pretty abysmal, having scarcely escaped the rudimentary 'we make this. buy one' ploy that has existed longer than thewashingmachinepost. even those who spend millions sponsoring world tour race teams, rarely include that fact as part of their frequent marketing splurges.

so if new expensive bikes are not being forced upon you through various websites or the very few print publications still in existence, or you are simply too strong-willed to acquiesce to their persuasions, maybe the bicycle you have is the perfect bicycle for the job. in which case, keep it well fettled at all times, reducing the possibility of new bike temptations. and consider just what might befall that perfect bicycle were you to purchase a replacement. i possess a ten year-old specialized crux cyclocross bike, which i enjoy riding enormously and which has proved itself every bit the equal of the terrain over which i force it to travel on a weekly basis.

sure, it would be nice to take a shiny new model from the bike shed at weekends, but i'm worried what the crux might tell my friends and family.

saturday 28 march 2026

the cost of living

by design, i tend to avoid discussing topical news items and world affairs, predominantly because i think myself to even less well-informed on such matters than i am about velocipedinal matters. with so much intelligent comment about the iran situation available elsewhere, it seems better to remain silent. as a wise man once said, "it's better to be thought a fool, than open your mouth and prove it." i can think of a president who ought to be reciting that as a mantra each and every morning until the end of the decade.

however, there's no doubt that matters adjacent to the straight of hormuz are inevitably going to affect all of our pockets sooner rather than later. granted, we can remain partially smug in the knowledge that the motive force that propels our bicycles to hitherto unknown speeds (make of that what you will) relies not on oil or gas derivatives. however, having them delivered to our doorsteps sure as heck does. and following a recent rise in coffee prices at the café above the local bookstore, i wouldn't bet against that being the first of many. i do not pretend to comprehend the complexities of international economics (for which i am eternally grateful), but price increases on pretty much all we hold dear don't seem all that far away, unless the two nations at war start talking to each other.

and that's not taking into consideration the continuing troubles between russia and ukraine.

the above situation means that most of us (not you, elon) will surely have to separate necessities from luxuries when it comes to our spending habits. for many, a bicycle will indeed be a necessity, fulfilling transportational needs on a daily basis. however, from anecdotal evidence, commuting cyclists are less likely to splurge on state-of-the-art carbon fibre, and to replace what lies in the bikeshed on a sprint and a whim. but those necessary bicycles, particularly if ridden on a daily basis, will certainly require servicing and repair at some point, using parts and accessories that are probably subject to the price rises of which we spoke earlier.

but that in itself begets another question, the answer to which will depend greatly on a number of salient factors. though i think the majority of us here would acknowledge being referred to as roadies, but that's a moniker that hides a multitude of sins. i am acquainted with cyclists who would happily purchase a gear mech at a price for which others would hope to acquire an entire bicycle; it depends on the size of your bank balance, your ego and perception of what is meant by expensive. the campagnolo twelve-speed record groupset on my ritchey logic bears a recommended retail price of around £1,700, but a twelve-speed shimano 105 groupset can be had for less than £500. though my preference would lean heavily on the former, i don't think i'd be likely to suffer too much if i opted for the latter.

in essence, we all have a differing idea of expensive, inevitably related to the amount of cash we have available, and i have a suspicion that an increasing number of us are beginning to realise just how eye-wateringly expensive our favoured activity has become. rapha will quite cheerfully relieve you of £250 for a pair of pro-team bibshorts, while assos have some at £305 and a winter jacket for an alarming £630. factor bikes have produced a bugatti badged bicycle which can be yours for only £24,000, or you could slum it just a bit, on a colnago c68 vuelta special for a mere £20,000.

the first product i was sent for review on thewashingmachinepost was a pair of carbonsports lightweight wheels. i had enquired about the possibility of reviewing their newly released ventoux wheelset, but they advised that with a lengthy waiting list, those were unavailable. however, as an alternative, would i like to try a pair of lightweight standards? in the middle of this century's first decade, those cost £100 more than the current price of the record groupset. nowadays, that would be seen as a bit of a bargain, though plenty of other exotic wheelsets have appeared, intent on supplanting the lightweights.

one such pair is the latest from vision, namely the 'metron rs ceramicspeed silver edition'. doubtless these promise to get me from 0 - 60 in double quick time, but to do so, i'd have to send windwave (uk distributors) almost £3,100 for the only rim depth that would survive a hebridean winter. mainlanders can spend another £100 to acquire the 60mm rim.

it seems cycling is no longer a working man's sport (unless that man works as ceo of a ftse100 corporation).

friday 27 march 2026

left behind

with the constant march of technology, seemingly accelerated by artificial intelligence, i know for a fact that i'm not the only one constantly feeling out of my depth. this is not to disparage portions of the technological developments that have already been dropped from a great height; there are many desirable nuggets hidden within similarly evolving terminology, not all of which i believe i comprehend. some of that, i'm sure, is deliberate; there can be nothing worse than having created something new, but having to refer to it in terms that might suggest it to be old skool. or perhaps having to use language that would pinpoint it as actually, nothing new at all.

at one time, i considered myself to be au fait with the cutting edge, partly because i was an avid reader of wired magazine, but predominantly because my day job involved continuous and necessary use of computers. though the same could easily be said of the majority reading today's monologue, i was confident that my approach was keeping me abreast of innovations that might make my specific use of computers that much easier, but depended on a level of understanding that would allow continuous joining of the dots. whenever something new appeared, i was smug enough to think that i could immediately place it in a context that would highlight a means of utilising several apparently disparate notions to more easily achieve a desired result.

however, much of today's terminology, colloquial and technical, has apparently embarked upon a campaign to leave me out in the cold. this particular realisation arrived a matter of weeks past when i was invited to address the journalism class in the local secondary school as to the ins and outs of page layout and design. while compiling a series of hopefully informative handouts, it became all too obvious that, despite using state-of-the-art publishing software on my apple imac, the terminology still used within the industry, however small a part one plays in its continuation, is derived from systems and procedures that died out decades past. for instance, my reader will surely be inured by now to my eccentric practice of typing only in lower case, but on explaining why small letters were addressed thus, and why their larger peers are known as upper case, returned us to a process that effectively died out in the latter part of the 19th century with ottmar mergenthaler's invention of the linotype machine.

yet the process of digital typesetting still includes terms such as kerning, tracking and leading, while typefaces are still sized in points, despite being predominantly set in pixelated form. there will be many other cogent examples of what i speak; this simply happens to be the one with which i have professional engagement.

much to my surprise, i still survive without a mobile phone, though even that is being challenged by ticketmaster from whom i purchased a ticket for this december's uci world cup cyclocross event in glasgow. according to my account page, my mobile phone is my ticket, and i need only show its digital representation within the ticketmaster app to gain entry to the kelvingrove event. bereft of the very device i apparently require, i contacted ticketmaster to enquire if they might send me a pdf ticket which i could subsequently print to take with me in december. disappointingly they replied, "While I wish we could accommodate that, this particular venue exclusively uses mobile-only tickets that are scanned from your phone."

i can understand how presenting a q/r code on a screen for scanning could potentially improve or ease the entry procedure, but since calmac are able to scan the code on a printed ferry ticket, and staff at glasgow's royal concert hall offered no resistance to my presenting a printed copy of my digital ticket to a rick wakeman conceert last october, i see no tangible reason why i cannot simply screenshot the ticket displayed on my macbook air, print it and allow the event staff to scan the q/r code contained thereon.

i'll let you know in december.

but, annoying though the latter stricture may turn out to be, it wasn't specifically that which brought on today's philosophical conjecture. while i have no doubt that the same state of affairs persists in all manner of situations, i'm a tad surprised (and disappointed) that cycling has been quite so eager to accept what i see as regular obfuscation, masquerading as contemporaniety. my eye was drawn to the recent announcement that chris froome had joined the vekta leadership team. though i am well aware of froome's position in the velocipedinal pantheon, i had not previously come across vekta. it transpires that it is an "ai-powered training and coaching platform" which, unsurprisingly, runs on a mobile phone.

that would likely explain my ignorance of its existence.

i'm also willing to accept that, as a cyclist who remains at arm's length from training and performance, there will be terms and conditions that do not directly pertain to yours truly. it's something with which i have made my peace. however, what i do have a bit of a problem with is the language surrounding anything these technology-first companies publish. it's almost as if using 'normal', coherent language would devalue to the product du jour. as an opening example, i quote "in this newly created role, froome will work across product innovation, performance modelling, feature development and long-term platform strategy, ensuring that data-driven insights reflect how performance is actually experienced by athletes."

i presume that means "chris is going to help us become better at what we do."

the remainder of the announcement is peppered with "a strategic body created to ensure the platform's long-term development", "shaped directly by real-world experience" and "it's about understanding how data, decision-making and human experience intersect under pressure." in context, many of the above phrases do make a smidgeon of sense, but there's precious little lip service paid to the physical act of cycling. instead of the app existing as a means to an end, the language in which it is couched may mislead you to think it is, in fact, the end itself. i yearn for the simpler days when we were advised simply to 'ride our bikes, ride our bikes and ride our bikes.'

i look forward to the day when the big bands once again, ascend the concert stage, and reign supreme.

vekta

thursday 26 march 2026

rubberised

whether you find yourself in favour of inner tubes or tubeless tyres nowadays, really makes no difference to the fact that, for the present, cyclists are entirely dependent on some form of rubberised (or silicon) traction to aid comfortable forward motion. and, as a component of the modern-day bicycle, even tyres have become the subject of aerodynamic concern. to a certain extent, this makes a degree of sense, given that the frontmost tyre is the first part of pretty much every bicycle to be subject to incoming drag. deep-rimmed carbon or alloy wheel rims play a substantial part in this first-footing, attempting to smooth the airflow as it encounters the spokes on its way to the front forks.

but even if approaching this 'problem' from a non-mathematical equation point of view, it's not hard to see that there are all manner of problems to be incorporated in reducing the amount of drag from the meeting of bicycle and wind/air before it ultimately encounters a thrashing rider, unaware and uncouth enough not to be entirely aware of the aerodynamic trouble they're causing. it has been said, probably quite frequently, by aerodynamics engineers midst a several hours of wind tunnel testing, that were it possible to remove the human from the situation, proceedings would be a deal less complex. however, as far as a regular bicycle is concerned, that's truthfully a non-starter.

but the dual purpose of the tyres, particularly the one up front, is surely now one close to insurmountable when attempting to gain benefits of traction and aerodynamics at the same time? as i have made my reader well aware over recent years, i am no engineer, and thus likely to suffer incomprehension over the minutiae of many aspects of bicycle design, particularly those immediately concerned with ekeing out every last benefit to be found. i have been told by a bona-fide tyre technician that the tread patterns applied to many road tyres, are there to satisfy the aesthetic demands of the great unwashed; that, due to the range of normal speeds achievable on a bicycle, their professed water dispersion properties are minimal in both requirement and reality.

it makes clear and perfect sense (to me at least), that the more rubber in contact with the road, the greater traction can be guaranteed, but the offset of that would surely entail greater friction? in theory, that may well be the case, but once again we might return to the average, or even peak velocity of a bicycle in which the forces described above are likely close to insignificant. that they are minimal in their existence, does not, however, release the professionals from skiting sideways into the barriers when cornering at speed in the wet. thankfully, i am insufficiently well-informed as to the tread patterns of the tyres of those who have suffered the above embarrassment in the heat of competition, otherwise my assumptions may be held up to ridicule. yet i recall an episode from the tour de france of yesteryear, when one of the riders on michelin tyres which sported no tread whatsoever, claimed that his team's lack of accidents on a very wet and descent ridden stage, was precisely because of their tyre choice.

that being the case would tend to give greater credence to the aforementioned tyre technician's remarks about tread patterns.

all this has been brought to the fore by the release of pirelli's latest, snappily-named p zero race tlr sl-r in 28 and 30mm widths soon to be joined by an almost cyclocross standard 32mm. according to pirelli, due to improved casing, these tyres deliver a 10% reduction in rolling resistance compared to the italian manufacturer's previous best-rated tyre. but any professed aerodynamic benefits are as of nothing unless bridled with an appropriate number of watt savings. in this case there are purported reductions in energy demands of up to 5 watts in crosswinds and as many as 15 watts under 'specific conditions', which, ironically, pirelli didn't specify. i would be interested to hear, however, just how many roadies make their tyre choice on the basis of potential energy savings. in my case, i look for a herringbone tread pattern and amber sidewalls. simply nothing else will do.

but, despite all the foregoing, and despite pirelli's attempts to convince us all of the veracity of their latest tyre release, it is none of those factors that prompted today's monologue. as i have already stated, i am woefully unqualified to dispute anything their marketing department tries to tell me, and even were i to be presented with a pair of p zero race tlr sl-r tyres, i doubt i'd notice the difference. however, what i did note, and it takes no extraordinary skill to appreciate, was the recommended price tag of £95 each. at the risk of stating the glaringly obvious, that's £190 per bicycle. though i have highlighted pirelli purely on the basis of receipt of their launch press release, they are not the only cuplrits. i remember the days when you could buy a pair of tyres and inner tubes for less than £30.

what the heck happened? is society to blame?

wednesday 25 march 2026

five steps of separation

more years ago than i can truly recall, a schoolfriend of mine invited me to a backstreet garage to witness the unloading of what i think was a formula ford or formula three race car. his brother was apprenticed as a mechanic at the garage, a business that sponsored said race car and had told his brother about the impending new season's arrival. though nowadays i could see motor cars far enough, given my concern that their local proliferation is effectively destroying island life, as a teenager, like probably the majority of teenage boys in those far off days, i was inclined to spend my saturdays visiting car showrooms between the town in which i lived, and the next one along the coast.

it never ceases to amaze me that the sales staff in all of the above were generally content to let me sit in the drivers' seats, open the bonnet and collect sheafs of brochures depicting vehicles i had not a hope of affording, had i even been old enough to drive in the first place. one showroom manager even handed me a branded carrier bag in which to carry my ill-gotten gains.

anyway, to return to the race car mentioned at the outset, it arrived concealed inside the back of a large van, and was reversed down two metal tracks slotted into the vehicle's floorpan. unlike road-legal cars, race cars, disallowed on public roads, have no need of silencers; i can still remember the deafening roar when the engine was brought to life inside the van, a roar which scarcely diminished as it reached the tarmac. in a brief and highly illegal moment of grandstanding, the driver raced off along the quiet back street on which was sited the garage, before swinging round and returning at speed to the assembled multitude of about a half-dozen onlookers. always wary that the loud reverberations may encourage neighbours to call the police, the engine was then switched off, the driver exited the cockpit and two mechanics wheeled the car into the darkness of the garage.

this brief encounter clearly illustrated why such vehicles are confined to race tracks. though the driver was safely harnessed to the rudimentary seating arrangement and wearing a helmet, the speed of acceleration, the noise and the blatantly exposed wheels, advertised the car's inappropriateness for day to day transport purposes. added to the above was the noticeable closeness of the chassis to the road surface. it would only have taken an inordinately high manhole cover to remove a sizeable portion of the car's bodywork. several years ago, when filming for an episode of the bbc series para handy took place on the island, star, gregor fisher arrived in a ferrari, a vehicle that was sent packing the following day on a low-loader, having skiffed more than a few patches of tarmac while driven on islay's roads.

it would take only a brief spin around the island's highways and byways to appreciate the infirmity of its road network. servicing eleven distilleries, with a twelfth on the way, requires a veritable fleet of large articulated vehicles, augmented by the pot ale tankers charged with removing the liquid waste from the majority, ever since the sepa ban on sea outflows at the turn of the century. add to that the fact that many roads are built on peat, the weight of those vehicles, accompanied by an unseasonably large number of whisky tourists, and a concerted lack of council funding, and it's a wonder that the island's roads are not in worse condition.

i am regularly asked by motorists, just how those of us on two narrow wheels fare when navigating the broken verges and numerous potholes? in actual fact, it's quite possible that we fare a good deal better than those on four wheels, given the versatility of the bicycle and its ability to avoid the worst of pitfalls. however, combine the fact that many of the backroads are perambulated by extremely large tractors towing extremely large and often extremely heavy trailers, and there's no denying that the tarmac has seen better days and offers less than pristine surfaces over which to ride towards coffee and double-egg rolls. though the road bike fraternity has gradually increased the width of its tyres, the road bicycles on which most of us ride, accommodate no more than 28mm. these may, in theory, offer improved rolling resistance, but comfort is a salient factor increasingly missing in action.

it is no secret that even the mighty dave-t, who has spent more than the last two decades riding a carbon fibre focus road bike, has graduated to an aluminium gravel bike, a mode of transport about which he could hardly be more complimentary. having ridden my cyclocross bike almost exclusively since last november, i know exctly where he's coming from.

i have no wish to set islay as an exclusive site of deplorable road surfaces; well aware am i that this situation is replicated all across the country, a situation that seems hell-bent on excluding the average road bike from britain's roads, not due to legal status as witnessed with the formula race car mentioned above, but on purely pragmatic grounds. it's al very well for the world's cycle manufacturers to concentrate on aerodynamics, tube profiles and the integrating of cables, but it's no longer a deniable fact that they are, in effect, designing and building for the professional elite. society has all but excluded the ill-named road bike from daily or weekend use; should this situation continue, it surely won't be long before the only examples of cutting edge carbon will be confined to tnt sports.

we can still refer to ourselves as 'roadies', but only ironically.

tuesday 24 march 2026