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communication breakdown

with more than a single visit to scotland in the next week, resulting in greater pressures at work, i will have to take an enforced break from the post this coming week, probably until next saturday, though this may have to be extended to a week from today, depending on how the next few days pan out. however, since the giro is now underway, i recommend paying attention to jonas vingegaard's attempt to add yet another grand tour jersey to his collection, at least until i get back.

sunday 10 may 2026

the sound of silence

there's a monty python sketch featuring john cleese in the part of a reputed paleontologist, keen to espouse his theory about dinosaurs. after much ado about nothing, he finally states the basis of this theory which, it transpires, purports that dinosaurs are very thin at one end, get much, much bigger in the middle, before becoming thin once again towards their heads. most of us would find ourselves in complete agreement with that theory, with little in the way of an argument to the contrary.

which brings me to my own theory about contemporary bicycles, crafted over years of meticulous examination, comparison and refinement. my theory, which is what it is, contends that modern day bicycles are designed and constructed to make unwanted and unwarranted noises, as an integrated part of their being. though i'd be happy to undertake in-depth discussion of this theory, i am essentially unwilling to broker any argument against the principal thrust of its content.

my first proper bike was a present from my parents when i was but nine years old. all i can specifically recall is that it was not brand new, but that it was resplendent in two shades of blue, had but a single freewheel and metal mudguards. i'd be fibbing if i said i could remember the wheel size, but as a nine year-old of average build, i shouldn't think they were any bigger than 26 and threequarters. probably what we'd now refer to as a 650b.

at the time, though the bike fitted well, i couldn't actually ride a bike, but taught myself to do so by borrowing a considerably smaller bicycle from a nearby friend, on which i practiced and practiced in my back garden, where falling off was cushioned by the grass. having worked at this assiduously, i was still nine years-old by the time i could ride my own, blue bike around the block, gradually extending the distance as my confidence grew. however, what i do not recall, is that bicycle making any discrete, irritating noises.

modernity, however, has brought the 21st century's downfall of a continuous and perceived need for something new at regular intervals. this in itself, is something of a fallacy; though we probably all hope that our favourite musicians and bands will grace our listening pleasure by releasing something new each year, i find it hard to see the point of applying the same expectations to the humble bicycle. if i were to purchase a new bicycle within the next few weeks, why would i find it necessary to repeat the process next year, or the year after? and would not the intrepid cyclist, who is not me, be quite happy to purchase a verisimilitude in 2028 of that which has graced thewashingmachinepost bike shed in 2026?

in which case, why the constant need for technological advancement, other than for the rather trite reason of putting one over on the competition? because as far as i can see, the never-ending complexity being applied to what was once remarkably simple, yet effective technology, is doing little other than providing opportunity for creaks, clicks and groans from a mish-mash of componentry designed not to play well with others.

the original, square-taper bottom bracket, according to my luddite opinion, was perfectly adequate for the vast majority of pedallists, and would have remained so, had someone in a japanese factory in a galaxy far, far away, not decided that simply wasn't the case. so whereas we once had a unit that fitted perfectly within the section of bicycle frame designed to accommodate it, a close fitting, threaded portion that all but precluded untoward movement, we now have external cups which are subjected to greater lateral leverage, and press-fit bearings that seem less than comfortable in their new not exactly round, carbon fibre slots. these are now forced to undertake duties augmented by spacers and preload units that would suggest a lack of technical forethought.

one-inch headsets and steerers, it could be argued, were also best left alone, based on evidence that their larger diameter successors seem less likely to encompass the sound of silence.

of course, it could be that i remember those halcyon days of yore through rose-tinted glasses; perhaps they were every bit as cacophonous as i would contend, is the case today. but as someone who has found himself responsible for maintenance duties over the past forty or fifty years, i'm pretty sure i spent considerably less time in the past trying to determine from whence cometh the creak du jour. it's possible that the technical developments of the past few decades have indeed, resulted in a lowered frequency of servicing, but in my experience, this has been at the expense of more and more instances of hard-to-diagnose but irritatingly frequent noises, all of which seem to come from the bottom bracket, whether that turns out to be the case or not.

and judging by awareness within the sunday morning peloton, it's not just me.

sunday 10 may 2026

it was virtually bound to happen

a truism often repeated, contends that whenever something 'new' appears with wheels attached, there will be those intent on racing them. if i might cite a relatively recent and relevant example, look what has happened to gravel bikes in a very short space of time. a type of bicycle which originated to take us all into the hinterlands on knobbly tyres, ignoring the existence of mountain and cyclocross bikes in the process. despite the latter's lengthier history, there are professional riders (ryan kamp, for one), currently racing a gravel bike in top level cyclocross races. when i reviewed bicycles, it was all but impossible to obtain a colnago 'cross bike due to almost non-existent sales in the uk. for the importer, it was scarcely worth it. but a gravel bike? that's a different question.

however, gravel, along with the uci, has wholeheartedly embraced the quest for speed, with manufacturers adapting their race-winning road bikes to accept wider tyres and project not only greater speed in the land of gravel, but create a fast image at the same time. odd, is it not, that a nation which harbours remarkably few racing cyclists (professional or amateur), is as obsessed with the lightest, and most aero, despite few purchasers being in a position to ride as fast as the hyperbole tells them they might?

and so obsessive is that quest for speed that some will do whatever it takes to achieve it ahead of everyone else, outdoors and, it seems, indoors too.

according to a recent newspaper report, the indoor platform reputedly preferred by world champion, tadej pogacar, mywhoosh, has implemented dope testing amongst the more proficient of its online, indoor competitors. (and just while we're here and on the subject of mywhoosh, their current advert asks the question as to why tadej has chosen mywhoosh, the implication being that the world champion could theoretically have his choice of online platforms, but he chose mywhoosh. at the risk of stating the glaringly obvious, tadej chose mywhoosh, almost certainly because they paid him a truckload of money and because it's based in the capital city of his team sponsor).

apparently, in 2025, mywhoosh paid out a total of £3.7 million to competitors on its computer-based platform. but either as a result of having discovered actual cases of cheating, or simply strong reason to suspect, next week mywhoosh will introduce physical dope-testing by the international doping tests & management team. selected riders will apparently be required to remain at their smart turbos for up to a period of three hours, to allow time for the anti-doping team to reach them and take a urine or blood sample. the company has apparently indicated that approximately 700 riders would form its initial testing group, with the aim of testing at least 10% of them every year.

it's bad enough to learn that those sort of numbers are involved in sitting indoors in front of an ipad, without considering that they might be indulging in suspicious substances to beat their virtual competitors. you can already imagine those who might see this as the accretion of bragging rights. and we wonder why it is that today's youngsters might opt to participate in a different sport. when you consider that mywhoosh, despite its marketing hype and tour de france winner's endorsement, lags behind indoor market leader, zwift, which has effectively just increased its online presence by recently hoovering up rouvy and its list of acolytes, there must also be suspicions aimed at those practitioners too.

though i cheerfully disparage the indoor cycling brigade for staying indoors and excluding anything that might constitute actual weather and personal interaction, it's somewhat thought provoking and disappointing to learn that they might also be imbibing performance enhancing products to win against riders who aren't really there.

if i'd written that even ten years ago, there would be a group of men in white coats at my front door, keen to dress me in a jacket that fastens up the back. just like podium jerseys, now that you come to mention it.

mywhoosh

saturday 9 may 2026

on the rebound

a recent report by the institute for public policy research (ippr) has recommended that national speed limits should be reduced to 60mph on motorways and 20mph in towns and cities. while it would be nice to think this is a recommended strategy to curb the effects of climate change, in fact it has been framed as a response to the current oil crisis engineered by the contretemps between america and iran. with oil prices considerably higher than before president trump decided to join his best pal benjamin netanyahu in curbing iran's ability to produce nuclear warheads, the ippr has suggested a few measures to combat price increases that have already begun to affect the cost of virtually everything, including introducing an annual energy cap of £2,000.

but with specific reference to national speed limits, the think tank has said that lowering the speed limits would, in effect, be a double-whammy; lowering fuel demand while making britain's streets safer for pedestrians and cyclists. the onset of the latter, they have concluded, will support the population to swap short trips to walking and cycling. far be it for me to pour scorn on their optimism, but i can't help thinking we've been here before.

derived from the government's 2024 national travel survey, figures show that 61% of all car journeys were less than five miles (eight kilometres), a statistic that has hovered around the same number for many a long year. and bear in mind that 2024 was only a year or so after the covid pandemic had led transport consultants and activists to declare the time of the bicycle had finally arrived. as we're all pretty much aware, though that may have seemed to be the case at the height of the pandemic, the minute that lockdowns were lifted, the number of car journeys increased dramatically.

if memory serves correctly, much the same rhetoric was held to be true after the two fuel crises of 1973 and 1979. did anyone notice an observable difference nowadays?

a recent article in the british press made the highly cogent point, that while government education departments consistently underlined the importance and joys of reading, if that were inherently true, it would be entirely self-evident, and there would be little need to emphasise the importance of books and bookshops. would not children and adults grab a book at every available opportunity in order to avail themselves of such relatively low-cost joy? the fact that the government has declared 2026 as the year of reading would tend to suggest matters are not quite so clear cut.

similarly the act of cycling.

though observed a number of years ago, the office of islay's local energy trust, constituted to foster green energy solutions, when holding their regular board meetings, would be surrounded by a phalanx of large sports utility vehicles (suv). the previous chairman drove a porsche. though a sweeping generalisation, many are the individuals who espouse renewable energies and practical solutions to climate change, yet adopt a stance of 'do as i say, not as i do'. while the majority of western civilisation is perfectly aware of the dangers of global warming, few are those prepared to alter their own habits as a result. that's for governments to deal with.

the reports from which the advice to lower speed limits were gleaned, unfortunately gives no indication as to whether the uk government is likely to adopt the ippr's recommendations. but my reputation as a killjoy can't help thinking that any calls for the population to switch to two wheels for those 61% of under five-mile journeys, are highly likely to fall on deaf ears. for, as a parallel to the reading paradigm outlined above, if the joys of cycling were as manifest as transport groups would have us believe, there would be no need to contrive circumstances in order to persuade the great unwashed.

so cycling must be seen as an option designed to be accepted on the rebound; a health pandemic? make life safer by riding a bike. a fuel crisis? make life more economic and pragmatic by riding a bike. rare is the official pronouncement that endorses the bicycle for its own sake and that of the planet. britain, amongst many nations, is in thrall to the motor car, despite world travesties frequently suggesting a transportational change. when the youth of a small island such as islay think nothing of driving souped up cars with pointless aerofoils decorating the bootlid at speeds that frequently exceed current limits, it could be considered that petrol isn't dear enough.

the rebound might arrive, but probably not in our lifetimes.

friday 8 may 2026

make it stop

having recently completed writing a newspaper article on the benefits and disbenefits of information technology, without including any paragraphs about artificial intelligence, it well behoves me to report that there do seem to be more benefits than drawbacks, though to an extent, that depends very much on your point of view. for instance, if i might cite a personal anecdote, i have learned that the ticket i have purchased from ticketmaster for this december's uci world cup cyclocross race in kelvingrove park, glasgow, comes with a footnote that my smartphone is my ticket. in other words, when ticketmaster releases the required q/r code nearer the event, i will simply require to produce the ticket on my phone for scanning at the entrance.

my regular reader will already have spotted the spanner in the works, namely, that i do not possess a smartphone. i have contacted ticketmaster to point out the error of their ways, but it seems their customer service department bears an uncanny resemblance to that of a chocolate fireguard, simply reiterating that i need only show the electronic smartphone ticket, and world cup cyclocross is my oyster. i have asked whether it would suffice to print a copy of the online ticket (as was the case for last years' rick wakeman concert in glasgow's royal concert hall), but they have claimed that there is no practical means of doing so. in actual fact, i know of a way to accomplish said feat, but i have shied away from informing them, lest they place further obstacles in my path.

in truth, i can see no reason for arranging matters in this somewhat backward fashion. i am well aware that i am in a tiny minority of individuals less than keen to join the smartphone revolution, though i'm willing to bet there is more than one who finds themselves in exactly the predicament outlined above. let's face it, if the technology exists to produce an entry ticket with q/r code suitable for storing on a smartphone, how much less technology would be required to create a printable version? in this case, i fear that the technology is controlling the situation, rather than vice versa.

and that, i would contend, is precisely what has become prevalent in the cycle industry. though i am more than willing to argue my case against electronic gear shifting, integrated cable routing and one-piece stem and bars, i can understand why wholesale adoption has become the predominant point of view. but some reputed advancements are not quite so easily accepted, for in this instance, i can really see no point other than making a purse into a sow's ear.

it has been many a long year since i paid much attention to the revelations revealed at the various cycle shows dotted about the world. however, the recent sea-otter brought to the fore, a new 32" wheel size, and unlike previous intrusions, it's not aimed at the mountain-bike world, but at the nascent gravellers. and who would bet against it seeping into the road bike market if we don't keep an eye on it?

it's already proving harder and harder to remain faithful to the rim-brake world, while taking advantage of an ever-increasing number of rear sprockets and other apparently requisite technologies. but what could possibly be the point in creating larger wheels, and subsequently larger frames into which these bigger wheels will have to fit? the 700c standard upon which we currently ride has existed for decades, and i really cannot recall anyone, professional or otherwise, exclaiming that velocipedinal life would be immeasurably better, if only we could ride on larger diameter wheels. there are parallels to be made with the introduction of hydraulic disc-brakes.

and already there is word of height restrictions on who can ride these monstrosities. if you're shorter than 5'9", you might as well stop reading now.

according to the hyperbole, more tyre results in greater contact with the road, but that surely applies mainly to the tyre's width? the actual patch in contact with the ground is remarkably small. i remain to be convinced that increasing the diameter to 32" would make any appreciable difference. and larger tyres can, theoretically be run at lower pressures, but yet again, i believe that to be more applicable to the tyre width. that said, i have been proved completely wrong on so many occasions, that i'm almost tempted to advise ignoring much of what i've written. my own thoughts would tend to suggest there is marketing at the core of this innovation; otherwise, why stop at 32"?

the e-mtb to which i recently referred, sported 29" wheels, and it was enormous. to quote sheldon cooper, "life's too short for all this crud."

thursday 7 may 2026

i'll wait until december

the elephant in the room

a friend of mine who owns an orbea e-mtb, recently asked if i would help her out by fitting a new chain. as a photographer she has often helped me out with collections of images that easily outdo my less than stellar photos, so i was more than happy to return the favour. as you may have gathered from my naming of the machinery, she favours the gnarly offroad rather than the smooth style of the road (islays' disintegrating network nothwithstanding). the only e-bike with which i am familiar is specialized's turbo vado, effectively a commuter bike with its own weight penalty. what i was not expecting was the sheer size and bulk of the orbea, sporting tyres that seemed not much narrower than some of our singletrack roads, and weight that must surely make it a handful at times when circumnavigating exposed tree roots and the like.

though i was thankful i didn't have to make any attempts to ride the machine, that weight became a serious problem when attempting to set the gears after the chain was fitted. along with the new chain, i had also been left the old item in order than i might measure the new one and save having to figure out the length for myself. however, having matched the two perfectly, when fitted, and still in the smallest sprocket, the chain sat drooping below the chainstay while the top portion threatened to drag on the chainstay cover. since this didn't seem right, i removed another link from the chain providing more satisfactory tension. however, the test of whether i was right to do so could only be checked by shifting onto the enormous dinner-plate of a large sprocket.

and that's where everything fell apart, so to speak.

firstly, clicking the lever into the next gear up, necessitated lifting the rear wheel off the ground. but, as we all know, roadies have the upper body strength of a twelve year-old girl, meaning the bike would probably have to be placed on my workstand; easier said than done. with the bike still sitting on the ground, i lined up the workstand clamp with the seatpost, then tightened until there was no lateral movement. however, raising it off the ground meant standing on one leg of the workstand, while attempting to raise the bike upwards, a job that almost resulted in disaster when everything threatened to collapse to one side. effectively, the bike was too heavy for the stand, though i eventually did manage to raise the rear wheel a few inches off the ground, enough to check the gearing.

however, no matter what i did, i could only get the gear lever to shift eight clicks before it would move no more, and not all the clicks resulted in the chain moving upwards by one sprocket. in fact, by the time the eighth click had been reached, the chain had travelled over only five or six of the twelve sprockets. convinced that the cable may have been incorrectly fitted to the shimano slx rear mech, i resorted to youtube to check, but according to the gent presenting how to fit just such a gear mech to your bicycle, the cable was precisely where it ought to have been. and the two stop screws, preventing the chain from over-exerting itself at either side of the cassette were just where they should have been. after two hours, i'm afraid i had to admit defeat; there was simply no way that chain was going to get anywhere near the larger sprockets, thus disallowing me the luxury of finding out whether the chain had been fitted at the correct length.

had this been a standard mtb, or road, 'cross or gravel bike, it would have been a great deal easier to check every stage of the process, but on this particular orbea, the cables are fully integrated into the frame, meaning no way to visually check the cable tension. though i had removed the cable from the gear mech and checked, i suppose it could have been sticking on something i couldn't see. so, reluctantly, i'd to return the bike to its owner, admittedly with a new chain, which was all i'd been asked to do, but i'd have been a lot happier if i'd been able to deliver it in full working order.

the moral of the story is, almost parallel to that of the contemporary motor industry, that the not-so-humble bicycle will soon be too complex for the home-mechanic to work on (if that stage hasn't already been reached). though i still possess a legacy of specialist tools, the majority have now been made redundant by the incessant onward march of technology, so, in the absence of a bike shop on the island, i must content myself with remaining a luddite, if only to ensure i can maintain my bicycles' roadworthiness. but while roadies have gratefully been on the receiving end of a constant march to make everything lighter, if the e-bike is, as many claim, the future, the industry will have its work cut out to do the same for the electrons.

and the sooner the better.

tuesday 5 may 2026