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unguarded moment

during my occasional perusal of velocipedinally inclined media, on and offline, i came across an article on the comic's website entitled, 'there's no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable fenders'. for readers on this side of the pond, that last word translates as mudguards. however, sitting forlornly in thewashingmachinepost bike shed, is a chris king cielo, sadly no longer manufactured by the portland-based component firm, a bicycle which features what were marketed as full wood fenders, acquired from a bike shop on martin luther king boulevard in portland town well over a decade past.

the article in the comic states that for those domiciled in an area rife with precipitation, mudguards are considered a necessity, a contention with which i only half agree. there is no doubt that an un-fendered rear wheel is, without doubt, going to provide you with a narrowing brown stripe across the back of your jacket or jersey. given the agricultural nature of my environment, i will imply, but not clearly state, just what the contents of that brown stripe might contain. however, those of us who ride bereft of mudguards most likely do so for one, or both of two reasons. firstly, ever since style entered the cyclist's lexicon in the early part of this century, the name of the game has been the emulation of the professional classes, despite the manifest differences between them and us. the second reason might well be seen as related to the first; the majority of road bikes do not feature any means of affixing mudguards/fenders to the frame.

you would be correct in pointing out that there have been many attempts to circumvent the latter problem, allowing world tour replica owners to protect the middle of their expensive rapha, castelli or assos jackets. perhaps the current trend for accommodating wider rubber has made the latter less of a problem; the clearance under the front brake caliper on my ritchey would scarcely allow for the thickness of a cigarette paper, and the mounting system for the caliper is distinctly not fender-friendly. i have tried and reviewed several alternative mudguard offerings, all of which are effective to some degree, but were ultimately found wanting.

but then you have the opposite state of affairs; the full-wood-fenders affixed to the cielo are likely to prove very difficult to remove, as the stays are bolted to fittings brazed to the frame. on the favourable side, they still offer every ounce of protection that was inferred at the point of purchase. but the second part of the whole question, is whether we actually need mudguards in the first place, a question that is conditional on the purpose to which the bike is put. if i were riding to school, college, the shops or work in the wet, i'm pretty sure i'd have a different point of view. in that case, i'd be keen to arrive as dry and clean as is possible.

and were that to be the case, i'm sure i'd have acquired a bicycle capable of sporting a set of fenders.

but those of us in the style council are apt to be riding bicycles designed for cyclists far faster than you and i, and assuming you are inclined to ride it in all weathers, is the absence of a wet stripe down your back really going to make any perceivable difference? i have ridden the highways and byways of this hebridean island on the aforementioned cielo in galeforce driven rain, and i can assure you that the fenders made no difference whatsoever. it may be that the front mudguard is designed to keep spray off one's footwear, but if a galeforce five is striking from the side...

at the end of each and every ride, irrespective of the weather in which i have been riding, my cycling apparel goes straight into the washer, while its wearer clambers into the shower. in which case, any hypothetical mudguards will ultimately have been of no practical use.

so, i'd imagine that the answer to the comic's heading, were it to be re-phrased as a question, would be "it depends."

saturday 21 december 2024

a lack of custom

i'm sure the majority of us start out riding our bicycles clad in everyday wear, despite the obvious discomfort engendered by the thick seam on a pair of denims, between the saddle and your undercarriage. in many cases, it's the existence of that very seam that not only brings tears to your thighs, but encourages investment in a pair of suitably padded shorts. of course, on-bike apparel covers more than just the nether regions, tailored in such a way as to make the act of cycling a tad more comfortable than those initial sorties into the wide grey yonder. the sadly departed lord carlos of mercian persisted in remaining simply a 'bloke with a bike', rather than admit to having become a cyclist, until he undertook to ride the etape caledonia, acquiring in the process, a sponsor's team-kit.

suddenly his disdain for lycra and polyester melted overnight, turning up for each sunday morning bike ride all but indistinguishable from the remainder of the peloton. the point was well-made by one member of the peloton who pointed out that it was less than customary to go swimming in a pair of levis 501 jeans. the reasoning was succinctly implied.

however, those early rides often featured remarkably low-cost, and thus low-quality cycling apparel, pragmatically on the basis that this new-found admiration for the peloton might just be a passing phase. few will be inclined to head directly to the websites of rapha or assos to begin the acquisition of an apparopriate cycling wardrobe. the pleasure of so doing is traditionally retained as a follow-up to the purchase of a bike that proved a smidgeon more expensive than him or her indoors had approved. by that time, there's no point in denying that the cycling bug has been well and truly caught, and style is close to becoming every bit as important as one's physical prowess on the bike.

i'm making a rather generalised assumption here; that's how the majority of those who constitute the velo club peloton began. but as a velocipedinal identity begins to form, externally, internally, or both trajectories at once, there often appears a desire for outward recognition of that identity. i am of course, referring to the team jersey. it's a garment for which everyone holds enthusiasm when first discussed, an enthusiasm that might well disperse slightly on discovering just how much it's going to cost, and oft-times an enthusiasm that goes on holiday only a matter of weeks following the arrival of said custom garment, often on discovery that this new identity is just not as comfortable/warm/stylish/practical (delete as applicable) as the rapha or assos apparel purchased at even greater cost.

and then there's the commercial approach, one which i can easily evidence by the number of single-malt jerseys available within a few kilometres of cycling around these here parts. in fact, coincidentally, i was advised only yesterday that one of diageo's three islay distilleries (caol ila) now offers a very stylish cycle jersey for sale from its premises overlooking the sound of islay and the paps of jura. i have yet to behold the garment in person, but i am informed that it is impressive in its black and gold livery. several years ago, i was commissioned to design cycling kit for both bruichladdich distillery and ardnahoe. both distilleries were keen to uphold their scottish tradition anad opted for the custom kit department at livingston's endura cycle clothing to produce jerseys and bibshorts for display in their respective distillery shops. cycle jerseys are also available from bowmore, jura, ardbeg and kilchoman, several of which also originate from endura's custom department.

however, the brown stuff will perhaps soon reach the spinning fan, when time comes to re-stock, for endura's custom department currently displays the following message on its website.

"After careful consideration and thorough evaluation of our overall proposition, we intend to cease offering custom teamwear at Endura from January 2025. We will continue to take and fulfil orders until 31st December 2024. After that date, we will continue to fulfil and ship custom orders which had previously been placed but our ordering portal will no longer take new custom orders."

with rapha (who closed their own custom department less than two years after announcing it to great fanfare), endura and le col cycle clothing all posting heavy financial losses recently, and david millar's chptr3 clothing having entered voluntary liquidation, the velocipedinal world has yet to become the land of oat milk and honey we were all promised just a matter of years ago.

when endura's decision reaches the distillery marketing departments, i'm expecting more than one phone call.

friday 20 december 2024

plastic

at some point in the recallable past, i asked a somewhat rhetorical question that queried what might come after carbon fibre? the bicycle began life as an agglomeration of steel tubes, which, over the years, became gradually more sophisticated, featuring variable wall thickness, tube diameters and butting offering strength where strength was required. when lugs fell out of favour, they were replaced by tig welding or, for the more sophisticated, fillet brazing. aluminium and titanium both had their brief time in the spotlight before the carbon steamroller took over and replaced everything. steel was certainly in vogue far longer than we have experienced carbon fibre, but that has more to do with the current pace of technological development, than with any specific aptitude for the job.

however, colnago introduced the c40 in 1994, effectively the first high-profile carbon frame to appear in the professional peloton, meaning we have been at the mercy of what mike burrows described as 'burnt plastic' for almost exactly 30 years. given the speed with which boffins in white coats are inclined to produce the next big thing, that's rather a long time to be subservient to a single construction material. after all, shimano's di2 electronic gear shifting was introduced in 2009 and a mere six years later, sram introduced wireless e-tap.

with the latter realisation, by now we surely ought to be riding something considerably more exotic than burnt plastic.

yet, perhaps plastic is the target at which the industry is currently aiming. plastics specialist igus has recently provided the first fully injection molded plastic frame for e-bike manufacturer advanced bikes. and before you join the protesting throng that i was about to foster, alarmed that plastic should be used despite the world's stuttering attempts to rid itself of the fossil-fuel based material, worry not; igus have employed receyled plastic in granular form. it claims also to be able to return frames at end-of-life to the granular form for use in other products.

as i have protested far too often in polite company, i am not an engineer of any description, so my knowledge and information does not extend far enough to know whether the tensile and compliance properties of an e-bike frame differ greatly from that of the exotica ridden by you and i. it is entirely possible that injection molding currently disallows any strategic variations in the positioning of materials within the frame. for instance, is it possible to increase the wall thickness and strength of the bottom-bracket area in comparison to the top tube? and if the frame can be constructed as a one-piece unit, do we have any right to refer to its once component parts as tubes? technically and literally, i think not; in which case, where do we go from here?

the granules from which the igus frames are formed are of composite format, consisting of high-performance plastics(?) and carbon fibre. however, as many will be aware, when laying up resin-impregnated carbon fibre matting, it is possible to align the fibres in a pragmatic manner, implementing strength where it is required, and lightening areas where less weight is desirable. i'm none-too sure whether the same facility is provided by injection molding. of course, we've all been using plastic components for years (igus are also experts in injection molded plastic componentry); the rear gear mech on my campagnolo record groupset may be described as 'carbon', but in essence it's just glorified plastic. functional? yes. aesthetically pleasing? well, the jury is still deliberating.

however, though this may be purely a personal point of view, plastic does not have the same ethereal personality possessed by steel, aluminium, titanium or carbon. how many of us would be content to spend in excess of £12,000 on a colnago (for instance), if we had to admit to our fellow pelotoneers that it was made of (recycled) plastic? though i have no doubt that a plastic frame will prove more than adequate for the majority, it strikes me that the material may have to engage the services of a high-profile public relations company to help keep our credit cards interested.

thursday 19 december 2024

prevention

it occurs that, nowadays, if not in the past, the choice to become a cyclist was the result of an informed, or perhaps economic decision. either way, the number of folks pressured into riding a bicycle for work, for school or simply straightforward transport, as opposed to travelling by car, bus or train, must number only a handful. for those of us who have valiantly opted to ride a bike, because we really, really wanted to, carefully choosing bicycles that would be practicable but with a hint of flair, the onus is on us to learn how to conduct ourselves in traffic, for both social and safety reasons. as the mighty dave-t has frequently pointed out it's all very well buying a bike, but at some point, you're going to have to pedal it."

it's tautologically true; we're all well aware of the fact that there's a not inconsiderable amount of effort that has to be put into cycling, and if you've to pedal the same route, day in and day out, it well behoves the cyclist to pay attention to the traffic midst which cycling has to take place. after all, if you quickly become a cycling enthusiast, it makes sense to prolong the experience in the face of adversity. however the fly-in-the-ointment is the now ubiquitous e-bike, a bicycle that apparently requires little in the way of consideration, if only because little in the way of physical input is required from the rider. choose the less than legal s-pedelec, and user input most certainly is suprplus to requirements.

however, it's all well and good separating the legal from the non-legal where e-bikes are concerned, but how is that separation to be policed? i rarely visit scotland these days, but the last time i traversed glasgow's sauchiehall street, it was blatantly obvious to the admittedly educated eye, that the vast majority of delivery riders were aboard e-bikes controlled by throttle, requiring no pedal-assist whatsoever. but just as many a motorist or truck driver will hide use of a mobile phone when a police car approaches from behind, or passes in the opposite direction, it would be a simple matter of pedalling earnestly at modest speed to disguise the fact that your e-bike possesses formula one abilities.

at a time when police resources are reputedly stretched to the limit, are they really likely to pursue what they might regard as illegal e-bike use to deliver sushi or pizza?

nonetheless, whether legitimate or otherwise, e-bikes are often surprisingly quicker than acoustic bikes, and many an e-bike rider has found themselves at the limit of their control, particularly aboard machinery that is capped at 48kph. there have already been moves afoot in denmark and the netherlands, to restrict use of cycle paths to acoustic bicycle users, following a spate of accidents engendered by principally elderly riders unable to exert full control of their e-bikes. denmark has already imposed licensing that has allegedly resulted in 29% fewer deaths, 39% fewer serious injuries and a 64% reduction in crashes.

obviously enough, simply slapping a licence number on an e-bike does not render it soft and cuddly, but there is likely to be greater consideration exerted by purchasers, or even hirers of e-bikes if there is a likelihood of punitive reparations for inept use of the bicycle. on islay, there are so few of us riding bicycles, all of whom are aboard noticeably different marques, that the local police would have little difficulty in identifying and apprehending any miscreants. inner city and urban use is a different box of battery connections altogether. with so many vehicles sporting dashcams and a cogent netowrk of cctv anad anpr cameras, any e-velocipedinal misdemeanours would surely be a tad easier to capture and subsequently prosecute if identification were simpler.

there have already been calls on the uk government to implement such factors upon the cycling population, though the majority have not specifically called out those aboard e-bikes. but in new york, the knotty subject of e-bike and e-scooter licensing is already under discussion. known as priscilla's law following the death of 69 year-old pedestrian, priscilla locke at the wheels of an e-bike in chinatown, a bill placed in front of the new york city council, sponsored by council member, robert holden, calls for e-bikes and e-scooters to be required to display identifying numbers. aside from ms. locke's death, many have noted an alleged increase in e-bikes on pavements, riding the wrong way on roads, and the old chestnut, running red lights.

though the new york vote is still considered to be several months distant, its wholesale adoption might well be considered a first step in the right direction by some and ripe for adoption by similarly minded cities, towns, states or even countries. many of those witnessed riding hired e-bikes on islay seem largely unaware of the surrounding traffic, a sizeable portion of which comprises 40ft articulated tankers. there has been considerable consternation that these temporary e-bike riders may not have ridden a bicycle of any kind since childhood. that said, pinning a licence number to the mudguards might be insufficient to cure that particular problem. it is still very much the case that we all have to share the roads with each other, and the onus is on the individual to look out for others as well as themselves.

that's applicable to both acoustic and electric cyclists.

wednesday 18 december 2024

wind up

i believe i have previously related the excuse provided by residents of the hallowed isle when asked why nobody appeared to ride bicycles in a location, at the time, largely bereft of motor traffic. the most commonly cited excuse for not travelling by bicycle was that of the wind. as i write, it is perhaps easy to see the potential veracity of that claim, given that the upcoming weekend is forecast to be at the mercy of cold atlantic draughts reaching above 100kph. despite my reputation for riding my bicycle in pretty much anything, winds of those speeds are decidely above the pale. the worst part of the latter knowledge is that sunday was projected to be the date of the annual velo club 'mince pie ride'.

there is, to be fair, at least some evidence in favour of those who were (and still are) happy to trot out the disadvantage of atlantic breezes to the likelihood of riding bicycles. yes, those of us inclined to ride in all weathers do garner a certain amount of unasked for approbation, but what is conspicuous by its absence, is any possibility of being emulated in our apparent idiocy. thus, despite the building of, so far, two mixed use paths on opposite sides of the island, and strenuous attempts by argyll and bute council to encourage transportation other than by motor car, there has been know recognisable increase in the numbers to be seen riding bicycles.

of course, that is regarded as one of the more trivial interruptions to modern society on the outer edge, parcel deliveries are anything but as straightforward as they are on the mainland, and a long-running debacle has been that of daily newspaper deliveries, the lack of consistency with which, is driving both customers and newsagents to distraction.

at present, our lifeline ferry service consists of a single vessel, while we await the delayed delivery of the first of two new vessels currently under construction in turkiye, and while the annual refit season takes place. the latter is the seagoing simalucrum of the mot test applied to motor vehicles, where each calmac ferry is required by law to undergo an annual inspection and mechanical checkup. thus when one ferry enters drydock, another has to take its place in order to continue the west coast service to 23 islands. this frequently results in many normally two-vessel services being reduced to one.

for islay, that means we have a ferry arriving from the mainland around 9:30am each morning, and the same ferry returning in the afternoon at around 3pm. the daily newspapers, which originate in glasgow, are transported over 160km to the mainland ferry terminal for placement on the 7am departure. yet, strangely, it can almost be guaranteed that those newspapers will not arrive in the morning on tuesdays and thursdays (and occasionally, saturdays). by the time the afternoon ferry arrives, assuming the newspaper have been placed aboard that particular vessel (not always the case), the island's newsagents will not receive them until after 4pm, leaving little opportunity for sales, given that the majority close by 5pm.

in order to learn of what the problem might be, i wrote to the manager of the haulage company responsible for daily delivery of the newspapers. aside from several pertinent and believable reasons as to why such delays were more frequent than you'd like to think, the gentleman of my acquaint, well aware of my predilection for bicycles, inferred that, as a back-up plan, he was looking at electric cargo bikes to transport the newspapers aboard the ferry, partly from an economic point of view (there is no charge for bicycles on the calmac network) and partly from environmental concerns, using the bicycles for so-called 'last mile delivery'.

those familiar with the hebrides will no doubt enjoy the humour as much as did i, for while islay is one of the six islands chosen by the scottish government to reach carbon neutral by 2040, bicycle delivery is unlikely to have been a solution considered as a viable solution. joking aside, that is certainly an aspect of environmental transport concerns that has all but excused itself from pragmatic implementation on any of the islands. while last mile delivery by cargo bike might make perfect sense in urban and inner-city locations, the wide open spaces that feature across the islands are less than ideally constituted to support such innovation.

i would tend to exclude myself from any likelihood of taking on the job of cargo bike delivery, if only on the basis of my advanced years. and a quick look at the average age of those constituting the sunday peloton, would immediately have you also query its viability. we have frequently attempted to press-gang younger members of the community into joining us once a week, where there is no need to consider delivery of heavy goods. therefore, one has to seriously question from where the transport company would be likely to recruit operators of its humorously proposed means of distribution.

the distance from bowmore in the centre of the island to the southern ferry port at port ellen is 16km across a dead straight road featuring no shelter whatsoever from either rain or wind. the distance from the northern ferry port at port askaig to bowmore is near 18km, marginally more sheltered but not by much. from bowmore to bruichladdich and subsequently, port charlotte is at least 15km, with the need of traversing uiskentuie strand, the majority of which is wide open to atlantic gales with, again, no shelter. so despite the electric cargo bike being positioned as a one-size-fits-all suitable delivery solution for parcels and mail, there are areas outwith its practicality. and once you're north of scotland's central belt, pragmatism might as well take a hike.

hopefully someone will arrive with a cunning plan.

tuesday 17 december 2024

if game of thrones did cyclocross...

whatever might be thought by its participants, professional sport is a part of the entertainment industry. admittedly those who earn their living from running, swimming, cycling or even knocking a little ball into a corner pocket with a big, long piece of wood, are required to undertake often strenuous practice in an attempt to reach the forefront of their chosen career. that compares disfavourably with those who inhabit what we might commonly consider as the entertainment industry; with no disrespect to the singers and actors involved, spending hour upon hour in often inclement weather simply to win back a few seconds, is not something you'd expect to see jennifer aniston or daniel craig undertake.

however, any event, whether a concert, movie, tv programme or cycle race that garners a paying audience, rather obviously exists to entertain. sometimes, and i'm sure you're well aware of which i speak, the behaviour of portions of the audiences at certain forms of entertainment, would lead you to believe that they view whatever takes place within their gaze, is of an importance well above that usually reserved for entertainment. i'm insufficiently well acquainted with the nooks and crannies of english soccer to name the manager responsible, but i believe one of them stated that football is not a matter of life and death; it's much more important that that."

essentially, that's wholly untrue. or, at least, it should be.

in the world of cycling, partisan support is less well defined. there must me hundreds, if not thousands, who watch le tour de france or the giro d'italia who are less than invested in the ultimate victor. i think we can all be shown to have favourites, those who we would look upon favourably should they cross the finish line ahead of the peloton, but by and large, we can witness the spectacle, gaining enjoyment whoever turns out as victor.

i, along with many, have frequently been asked why the grand tours last for three weeks, and perhaps more pertinently, why each stage lasts quite so long? would it not be every bit as pragmatic, they contend, if the riders simply raced each other over 15 or 20 kilometres, rather than having so many riders achieve very little during the preceding 180 kilometres? you and i can probably see why such questions arise, but it's hard to explain the strategies at work to position the more favoured individuals towards the front, allowing them to take advantage when push comes to shove.

the time and distance factor comes into closer examination when you raise the subject of cyclocross. each officially sanctioned race has a pre-determined length; around 50 minutes for women and as close to one hour as practical for the men. the decision as to how many laps will be raced is made following the end of the second lap, when the commissaires take the lap times and calculate how many will take them closest to the magical endpoint. but either way, if you sit down of a saturday or sunday afternoon to watch cyclocross, you know in advance how long that's going to take. unlike, for example, a transition stage in le tour, where, depending on the strategies at play, it might take anything between three and four hours or, occasionally longer.

a former editor at our local newspaper was once of the opinion that the number of pages featured in each issue could easily be considered a moving target, depending on how many photos he wished to use or how many articles of indeterminate length he wished to include. with various practical repercussions that might result from excessive pagination, i suggested that a fixed maximum number of pages would surely lead to a better edited edition?

to return to the cyclocross meme, a race that lasts only 50 minutes or an hour usually entails an eyeballs out approach from all concerned. there are, in my experience as a committed cyclocross obsessive, no flat spots throughout the event, a contention easily proved by that which took place at namur on sunday afternoon, in both the men's and women's events, described by the commentators, marty mcdonald and jeremy powers, as being arguably the hardest race of the season and the excitement of which provided some of the finest cycling entertainment i have been privileged to witness, from both elite events. this single event was, alone, worth the cost of admission for a year's subscription to discovery+.

with 'cross events on saturday, sunday and monday next weekend, and throughout the festive holiday period, i'd heartily suggest you consider joining me in my viewing habit. think of it as a christmas present to yourself.

monday 16 december 2024

augmentation

at the end the first decade of this century, i paid my first visit to portland, oregon, staying with slate olsen, at the time, rapha's north american manager. the flight time from glasgow to portland was just a smidgeon under eleven hours, for which i had had to arise from my slumber at around 5am uk time to check-in for the klm flight to amsterdam. following a brief stopover at schipol airport, i caught a ten hour northwest orient (now, sadly defunct) flight to pdx. to say i was tired and jet lagged on arrival would be to commit an understatement, however, on awakening the following morning, slate had made fresh waffles with bananas, strawberries and cream for breakfast, very definitely the early morning repast of champions.

the waffles part may, i believe, have arrived couresy of portand's obsession at the time, with cyclocross racing, more than adequately captured in a book entitled 'dirty pictures', a copy of which was presented to me by the photographer whose name, sadly, i cannot recall. the americans, however, took rather a more playful attitude to the sport, several events featuring a foam tunnel through which all had to ride, as well as the practice of drinking a shot at the end of each lap. fortunately, lacking sufficient foam and not being one for the consumption of alcohol, the only part of that i brought home, was a new-found delight in waffles.

in the first few days of my return across the atlantic, i ordered myself a waffle-maker and acquainted myself with the various recipes that could be mixed to create authentic and devilishly tasty waffles, whether bog standard or of bona-fide belgian origin. the latter, however, were intended to include belgian beer for authenticity, none of which i possessed and quite probably none of which i would have enjoyed. however, this desire for fresh waffles led to a weekend ritual whereby, following the washing of the tea-time dishes on saturday, i would put together the waffle ingredients in a large plastic bowl, subsequently squeezed into a shelf of the fridge, ready and waiting to be made into waffles 'pon my return from the sunday ride.

i would dearly like to inform you that this habit has persisted for the past fifteen years, but sadly, laziness got the better of me within the first year, and now that waffle-maker sits forlornly in the kitchen cupboard, reminiscing over days gone by.

from what i can gather, portland's obsession with cyclocross has substantially diminished, as, it seems, has that of rapha, who once ran their own supercross series in the uk, and would regularly proffer cyclocross kit on an annual basis. a quick search on rapha.cc with the word 'cyclocross' provides no results, but a closer look seems neither to highlight any of the once much-vaunted trailwear, designed to appeal to mountain bikers and possibly those in thrall to gravel. it obviously proved less popular than the company's owners once thought.

it would be foolish to pretend that thoughts of waffles have not surfaced in the intervening years; i recall enjoying their delights in the center parcs pancake house, accompanied with fruit and ice-cream. which brings me to the subject of subliminal advertising. in new york, september 1957, a gent by the name of james vicary admitted that he had inserted the slogans, 'drink coca cola' and 'eat popcorn' throughout a movie, but too fast for them to be visually recognised. according to his admission, sales of popcorn had risen by 18.1%, while sales of coca cola had gone up by over 57%. he announced this expecting laudatory comment, but all that happened was the imposition of a ban in 1958 on so-called subliminal advertising, a ban that continues to this day. his claims were subsequently debunked, but still the ban persists.

the question arises, however, how would we know?

subliminal it certainly wasn't but the end result was presumably the same, while watching cyclocross from herentals on saturday afternoon. as the camera swept across a section of the parcours, there, front and centre, was a very large, cream coloured sales truck with ice cream - belgian waffles emblazoned across the top. its appearance each and every lap (a total of eight times), placed undue influence upon my subsequent trip to the local averagemarket, where i was 'forced' to purchase the nearest i could get to belgian waffles, which, in this case, was a yellow pack of pre-made waffles ready and willing to be inserted into the toaster.

having already suffered the slings and arrows of a rainy, muddy and gravellous morning via a trip to islay's new solar array at castlehill, adjacent to the existing wind turbine, i feel i merit the easy option. and i'm willing to bet i've now planted the idea of waffles in your own shopping list.

sunday 15 december 2024

are we lost?

when i got into cycling in the early 1980s, a period that i would define as paying closer attention to the various facets the bicycle's importance in the greater firmament, as opposed to simply riding a bike for transportational purposes, its belief system was substantially different than is the case today. there had always been the die-hards, the folks who knew eddy's palmares by heart and would visit smith's bookstore in glasgow to get hold of copies of la gazetta dello sport or l'equipe during the respective grand tours, just to keep up with matters across the channel and farther afield. the rest of us looked on in bemusement when bbc grandstand delighted us with black and white footage of le tour, several days or weeks after its occurence. if you think being a cycling fan today is the very definition of eccentric, you can but imagine the 1970s and 80s.

though my first proper road bike was a plain gauge steel replica of that used by the viscount team depicted on a colour poster that arrived with the bicycle, it was my first ten-speed racer with drop bars; yet its importance was remarkably subdued, for i had no real idea that blokes like yours truly could have participated in local race events. the tour soon appeared on channel four for half an hour each race day, but its existence was separate from reality, despite the efforts of a diminutive scotsman to prove otherwise. it truly was many a year before i put all the pieces together and understood at least a portion of what was taking place outside my own limted frame of mind.

by the time i'd made it to the hebrides, the road bike had been superseded by one of mountain biking's earliest examples, predominantly due to marketing and the realisation that a triple chainset married to a wide cassette range was actually quite practical for day-to-day use. with my honours degree in hindsight, it's clearer to note that, had it not been for the attendant marketing, i (and many others) would scarcely have realised that we were being presented with the velocipedinal equivalent of the land rover. it's interesting to note that marketing of the range rover has, to a certain extent, mirrored that of the mountain bike. according to the adverts, you can reverse a range rover to within centimetres of a sloping cliff edge without batting an eyelid.

how many range rover owners have found that to be a part of their daily commute?

mountain biking in the 90s, however, just got silly; here was an eminently pragmatic means of transport and leisure that quickly became weighed down with complex and expensive suspension that very few of us required, augmented with all manner of anodised widgets that were similarly surplus to sane requirements. at the time, road bikes looked to be the more favourable option; reynolds 531 in traditional shapes and sizes with groupsets that were polished alloy and remained essentially static year upon year. fit campagnolo chorus in 1992 and it was more or less, still current in 1996.

i'm inclined to blame rapha for the sea change in how the perception of road cycling altered (arguably for the better). between simon mottram and original rouleur editor, guy andrews, they made tangible, cycling's great heritage, one that had previously been the preserve of the l'equipe and la gazzetta folks i mentioned earlier. suddenly, road cycling became positively heroic, a cloak of visibility foisted on all those who chose to follow the yellow brick road. however, we're still talking tiny minorities here, and recognition applied only to the self-appointed cognoscenti. for the great unwashed, cycling remained as steadfastly off the radar as it had pretty much always been. things have definitely changed, but maybe not as much as we'd like to think.

i received an article only the other day for publication islay's newspaper, concerning the formation of a local running club, one which, in a matter of months, has accumulated a noticeable membership and acquired custom team running vests and other branded accoutrements. any thoughts of an islay velo club surfaced only on arrival of the mighty-dave-t in 2003, prior to which, i had been, effectively, the sole velocipedinist on the isle, following the departure of a police constable with whom i rode up until 1998. in favourable weather, and a following wind, the sunday ride might just manage a peloton of eight, but very rarely does, and that's after twenty years of trying. the running club appeared almost overnight, with three qualified coaches and more members than would ever admit to being in the velo club.

obscurity is seemingly our birthright.

however, following perren street's ministrations from july 2004, matters began to look up, with a number of british participants in the world tour, the country's first tour de france winner, several quality road cycling publications and top quality apparel the likes of which we could previously only have dreamed. covid caused many a problem both personal and corporate, but it appears that the cycle industry was blinded by its own effortless success during those two horrible years, with more bikes, kit and accessories sold than was to have been expected. the black hole at the centre of this overnight success, seems to have been created by the strangely misguided belief that cycling's day had arrived, never to be put asunder, a philosophy that has proven to have been constructed on very shaky foundations.

in the interim, the industry has dramatically increased its bicycle prices for no truly explicable reason, while rapha, endura and others have suffered substantial financial losses. the latest casualty appears to have been david millar's chptr 3 which has ceased trading and entered voluntary liquidation only a matter of weeks following announcement of a strategic change of direction to make itself relevant in areas other than that of road cycling. its final release, the transit road shoe designed for the stylish commuter, garnered highly complimentary reviews, but was obviously too little too late. yet in the same week, colnago relased a branded trench coat that costs substantially more than a decent bike, followed by an ungainly looking aero frame with a five-figure price tag.

in all the 28 years i have been writing thewashingmachinepost, i'm really not sure i've ever quite come to terms with or understanding of the machinations of the cycle industry, but i'm now certain that's something very unlikely to change.

saturday 14 december 2024

what's changed?

those of you as obsessed with cyclocross as am i, will no doubt be inured to the sight of the grid front row at any televised event from the uci world cup, superprestige, exact series, or h2o badkammers trofee, where the cameraman not only shows each individual rider, but lowers the camera to portray their tyre choice for the day. said subject is also given plenty of airtime discussion between marty macdonald, jez cox, helen wyman and jeremy powers, explaining why certain riders have chosen specific treads available from their respective tyre sponsors. it's a subject given scant, if any, consideration prior to or during any world tour road race.

so while we might be informed as on which tread eli iserbyt, thibau nys or fem van empel may have garnered victory, most of us will be completely in the dark as to that which transported tadej, wout or mathieu to the finish line. that's probably as it should be, though it's hard to deny that the subject would surely offer the hapless commentators yet more to talk about on those dreary transition stages when the sprinters rule the roost. alongside the wines, bread, cheese etc., that can be acquired from the region.

cyclocross courses are frequently in the habit of providing a wide variety of surfaces over which to compete. these include, sand, hardpack, mud, grass, gravel and metalled road, each providing its own version of treachery, but each requiring different skills and ultimately, different treads. it is, of course, possible to change bicycles once or twice per lap, and during those exchanges, it might be possible to inform the mechanics that a different tread would be preferable next time round due to changing course conditions or poor initial choice.

as advised by jeremy powers and helen wyman, during the test runs, prior to the start, riders make their choices based on a predominance of conditions, opting, perhaps, to run the mud section rather than ride, since a full mud tread might compromise their efforts acorss the bulk of the parcours. different riders have differing priorities, and the skill of tyre choice has to be acquired alongside every other demanded of the professional cyclocross rider.

you and i, on the other hand, are relatively unlikely to have access to several wheelsets, all fitted with a varity of tread patterns and freehub cassettes, allowing for educated choice on opening the bikeshed door each saturday or sunday morning. a few weeks past, i opted to ride throught the woods at bridgend, emerging at south lodge, the last few metres of which are frequently inhabited by squirmy mud, even following an extended dry-spell. completely forgetting i was riding challenge chicane tyres, which feature a file tread with a few knobbles on the side, a choice certainly not one for thick mud. i did emerge successfully at the other end, but until that point, it was a tad close to riding on glass with a film of washing-up liquid. however, given the predominantly benign nature of the preceding kilometres, the chicane tread proved ideal.

but mud, gravel, sand, grass and tarmac have all been around far longer than has either you or i, surfaces that have also been an integral part of mountain biking since the early 1980s and 'cross long before that. and during that time, tyre manufacturers have implemented all manner of tread patterns, some of which surely owe more to artistic expression than to tractive properties, but by and large, you'd imagine that across the span of almost forty-five years, the available rubber choices ought, by now, to be quite exhaustive. is it not, therefore, a simple matter of producing a mud tread, for example, in an appropriate range of widths and diameters?

for example, if a tyre manufacturer has gained particular success with a tread pattern designed for muddy conditions, is it not possible that it will work perfectly well at 33mm, 38mm 40 and 42mm up to and including the 50+mm demanded by the gnarly dudes on springy farm gates? alter the diameters to include 26", 650b, twenty-niner and 700c and will not all be well with the world? at least, you'd like to think so. however, it appears that the new-fangled gravel trend has created demands all of its very own, requiring tread patterns exclusive to the genre and unable to be satisfied by transference from either cyclocross or mountain biking.

how do i know this?

well, coincidentally, but not exclusively, german tyre manufacturer schwalbe has apparently added a third tyre to its g-one r line, with the snappily named g-one rx, said to offer "the best possible off-road performance [...] the focus on off-road surfaces is particularly evident in the tread detail." apparently this new tyre borrows from schwalbe's cyclo-cross experience, which leads me to ask, whatever was wrong with the latter in the first place? in what way does gravel differ from 'cross? after all, the bikes are pretty much identical.

this couldn't just be marketing could it?

friday 13 december 2024

round in circles

many of us will have read the industry horror stories over this past year, when many major players in the cycling's universe threw up their hands in horror on realising that the untrammeled growth experienced during the covid pandemic looked as if it might not continue and how could it possibly be their fault for having stuffed the sales channels with copious amounts of inventory, ordered well in advance of civilisation returning to normality? they are, of course, not alone in their naivete; the whisky industry currently finds itself in a bit of a quandary, despite having repeatedly denied that such a thing could ever come to pass. yes, it has happened before, but things are different now. that has been the mantra recited while expecting infinite growth in an industry that relies on the whims of the world's drinkers. susceptibility to small changes in patterns seems to have been summarily ignored.

one of the cycling businesses that suffered not only a downturn, but ultimately, liquidation, was that of my good friend, sven thiele. having first met the south african ceo of hotchillee at my first attempt at their iconic london-paris ride in 2008. in latter years, he had adopted the inexplicably popular gravel meme, even introducing an offroad version of london-paris. i honestly have no insight as to why hotchillee went bust, but as with many liquidation instances, there are people left out in the cold, still owed money for services or supplies provided in all good faith.

hailed as the uk's best gravel cycling event by sigma café ride presenter, and eurosport commentator, matt stephens, the stone circle midsummer gravel festival was one of the events that fell foul of the demise of hotchillee, but, convinced by the enthusiasm displayed by previous participants, all of whom were dismayed by the impending disappearance of the stone circle ride, four former hot chillee employees (all creditors of their fallen employer) opted to take matters into their own hands and ensure that the event continued. to do so necessitated starting their own company, which is precisely what they have done. one of the four, charlotte montague, told me recently, "not sure the cycling industry is the best sector to be setting up a new business right now." leading yours truly to enquire, with reference to that statement, why she and her colleagues had done so?

"It was actually a no brainer for us. When Hotchillee closed we were all shocked. We were a small team of employees, and all four of us found ourselves as creditors of the business. Quite quickly we were inundated with people asking what was going to happen to The Stone Circle event specifically. Knowing how much people loved it, as well as how much we loved putting it on, we decided to start a new company and go for it. And with a combined thirty years industry experience it’s been fun. We've gone into it with the view that it's a labour of love… none of us are going to pay off our mortgages, but we hope that people will appreciate we've taken the leap and continued something unique in the UK gravel scene."

hotchillee began its career in the early years of this century facilitating riders from across the world, the opportunity to ride from london to paris in organised pelotons, marshalled by motorcycle outriders, a lead car and backup mechanical assistance in a following vehicle. essentially it fostered a similar culture as existed in the professional peloton, without the need to ride at superhuman speeds. and though this new company begins with gravel, have charlotte and her partners any future plans to encompass road events?

"Although there are no current plans to put on a road event, we will be putting on free regular group road, as well as gravel, rides in the build-up to The Stone Circle. What was great about Hotchillee was the community, and we wanted to offer an opportunity for the regulars to continue to meet up. Everyone is welcome, whether they're signed up for The Stone Circle or not. Just join our mailing list and we'll ping you the info.

a large portion of the contemporary cycling industry seems convinced that gravel is the place to be at present, including the world tour, which now demonstrates a predilection for adding gravel sections into as many road events as it feels it can get away with. other than this faint voice in the background, there's nothing to say they're wrong. and while reviving the stone circle ride is a gift horse that probably ought not be avoided, does charlotte see gravel as the future?

"It's certainly having a moment of very strong growth which should continue for another few years. The ever-growing number of cars on the road makes gravel more enticing. It's a safer space for beginners and also has a great vibe - somewhere between the fun of mountain biking and the endurance challenge of road riding."

though charlotte and her companions may have initially been feeling dismayed at the abrupt end to their former employment, there's no denying hotchillee's success in building a catalogue of intriguing and successfuly bike rides. is charlotte aware if there still exists a strong market for the rides previously offered by hot chillee?

"The trademark Hotchillee format of rolling closed roads was difficult to sustain. The high ratio of support crew needed, combined with the cost of permissions, meant closing roads was the biggest challenge financially and logistically. But we want to continue with the vibe and ethos in the best way we think possible."

at least one of the reasons cited by sven thiele for the economic difficulties encountered by hotchillee was that of brexit, a disentaglement with europe that has created a substantial increase in the formal paperwork and bureaucracy encountered by many businesses in their commercial undertakings with mainland europe. in the light of this, does the new company plan to remain steadfastly based on this side of the channel, or is europe still a possibility?

"It's very much a possibility. The biggest hurdle for Hotchillee events (both logistically and financially) was transporting bicycles for riders during the event. We're exploring a series of international events, let's just say I've been to Sweden a few times recently, but riders would arrange their own transport and bike transfers to the start. Watch this space."

now that the dust has settled, they've taken the plunge and riders are handing over their hard-earned, where do they go from here?

"Quality over quantity. There's a reason why we're regarded so highly in only our third year of staging this particular event. The small team working on The Stone Circle really, really care about it. We can't and we won't lose our passion. So wherever we go from here, we go there fully committed."

for those who fancy a shot at gravel riding in proximity to stonehenge, pop over to www.stonecircle.cc

thursday 12 december 2024

dear hugo - herbie sykes. rapha editions/bluetrain publishing hardback. 127pp illus. £17.50

biographies and autobiographies form a closeted section of the publishing world, possibly both fiction and fact in the same breath. both rely on some degree of recall, whether gleaned from a series of journals, or simply at the behest of individuals with a far better memory than that of yours truly. it has frequently been related that there is a book inside of everyone, but if that proves to be true, i can guarantee that the one deeply hidden within will not be an autobiography. i remember matt rendell telling me that his biography of marco pantani set out to be at least a celebration of the hapless italian's life, but in the course of his research, the outcome of the book took on a far less optimistic hue.

i recently worked as editor on an autobiography with a high profile gent in the whisky industry, and while i don't doubt the veracity of his recollections, i've a sneaking suspicion that there may have been at least a soupcon of elaboration along the way. to an extent, that's almost inevitable, and probably even more so when time comes to compile a biography of a subject no longer with us. where any variations seen in an autobiography are but one stage removed from the truth or reality, heaven knows what may have intervened when gleaning information from a wide variety of sources. italian-based author, herbie sykes has obviously come to a similar conclusion, with a more pertinent perspective than the average man in the saddle.

"I've talked to (and written about) a lot of old cyclists. I've concluded that they're almost all fantasists."

given the universe that the world's great cyclists inhabit, there's every reason why herbie's contention ought to be viewed as true. in fact, it's possible that the early years of the predecessor to today's world tour preconditioned its inhabitants to the worthiness of exaggeration. it has been frequently noted that reporters following those early tours de france were rarely in a position to verify every twist and turn, but then neither were the consumers of their every word. why let the mundane truth get in the way of an embellished account of events? in which case, is it entirely necessary to publish a strict biography of in this case, hugo koblet? could the same end result perhaps be reached in a manner more slosely resembling a novel, for instance?

"...that's why I had to write it as a book of imagined correspondence [...] be assured it's much better and much more accurate than the biography I'd been minded to write."

the cover wrap makes everything a deal more plain, characterising an 84 year-old widower who emrges from his cellar, "...clutching an old mechanical typewriter" (subsequently excusing the frequent typos deliberately included in the author's narrative) on which he produced a litany of personal letters directed at hugo koblet. the basis of this subterfuge is that, following koblet's suicide in november 1964, broken and penniless, these letters are all that tangibly survive as testimony to the rider's time on this earth. illustrated with cuttings and imagery from the swiss rider's career, what we have been presented with could be referred to as a do-it-yourself biography, allowing us to draw our own conclusions based on the (fictional) author's correspondence, allied to reputedly official missives from the swiss cycling federation.

those who are familar with previous works by herbie sykes, including the short articles once published by the former proprietors of prendas ciclismo, will know well not only his occasionally eccentric style, but fascinating empathy for the cyling milieu. if anyone could succeed in writing and publishing an admittedly fictional biography, herbie's your man. of course, while fictional it might be, a truthful appraisal of the life of the winner not only of the giro d'italia (1950) but the tour de france (1951). there is every likelihood that, on finishing this novel, you will be as well-versed in koblet's life and career, as you would be, having watched the 2010 film 'pedaleur de charme'

dear hugo is certainly the most idiosyncratic biography i've come across, but nonetheless fascinating for all that. while the frequent typos and misspellings could certainly be said to add a level of authenticity, i'm afraid i tired of them rather quickly; it may have seemed a good idea at the time, but... that aside, quirky it might be, but why would i expect any less?

definitely worth owning.

dear hugo-rapha editions

wednesday 11 december 2024

aesthetics

in the 1950s, when bicycles were built from steel tubing and joined by silver-soldered lugs, the latter frequently doubled as a brand signature, differentiating one set of tubes from another. though not exclusively, tubing came from either reynolds or columbus, possibly even a combination of the two in certain cases. seamless steel tubing tended to be drawn to similar, if not precisely the same diameter, hence the once ubiquitous seatpost diameter of 27.2mm. obviously enough, the manufacturer would emblazon their name on the downtube often against a colour chosen by the purchaser. a current lack of the once wide colour palette available is only one aspect that changed forever on arrival of carbon fibre. it is far more likely nowadays that any given bicycle will be available in only two colourways.

it can be viewed as ironic that where elaborately carved or cast lugs were once employed to curtail visual conformity, almost seventy years later, even highly developed carbon frames have become almost indistnguishable from their peers in the peloton. only now, the lugs are conspicuous by their absence, removing the last vestige of differentiation. tapered, oversize headtubes, flattened top tubes, dropped seatstays, are all aspects of frame design that have become so common as to be unremarkable. lugs, in the era of steel tubing, formed an intrinsic means of joining those tubes; any decoration of the former was simply that: decoration. elaboration played no part in the process of building tensile strength. that particular situation is all but paralleled today, where many of the carbon adornments are also of dubious engineering value.

once again, it behoves me to point out that few, if any, of the comments made here have any basis in engineering theory or practice. it may be argued that the similarity between present day bicycle frames surely demonstrate common mechanical assertion; in other words, bicycles frames appear the way that they do, because engineering principles dictate that they do so. it will surprise you not that i am less than convinced; my money is firmly on the fashion theory.

we are a society that barely stops short of demanding continual change. the iphone 16 might feature a similar form-factor to that of its distant ancestor, introduced 17 years ago, but there have been many subtle changes introduced since that first iteration. the iphone 16 had only been introduced for a matter of days, before the online world was already speculating what might constitute its successor in september next year. not only does apple need to bring another version to market within a twelve-month period, simply because it does, but the fanboys and girls already expect it. it's a trait that encompasses the majoriy of western civilisation, and is no less applicable to velocipedinal matters. frame and component manufacturers will already be feeling the pressure.

however, where those decorous steel lugs once provided aesthetic enhancement, still much sought-after today, the world of carbon fibre, married as it is to real or professed technological advancement, seems frequently to be headed in the opposite direction. if evidence is required for such a contention, surely there are few, if any, who find world tour time-trial bikes to possess any vestige of pulchritudity, with their abrupt angular conjunctions and slab-sided tubing. road-racing is often claimed to be 'the beautiful sport', which may or may not be true, but if judgment were to be made on contemporary frame design, it would no doubt be found seriously wanting.

disappointingly, but thankfully, it is no longer necessary to take my word for it, particularly following yesterday's release of colnago's y1rs, apparently 'built to defy wind'. and in order to justify its apparently cubist construction, colnago cites collaboration with politecnico di milano and khalifa university. one can only assume it was not the art and design departments of either. it is, of course, the very item of machinery on which tadej will presume to continue his bid for world domination. it would be unfair to point the finger of accusation solely at cambiago and its emirate overlords, for there are several other occupants of the professional peloton that precede colnago in its design turmoil. though colnago would likely argue otherwise, there is a distinct aura of form over function to behold, particularly around the seatpost cluster '...a novel design that optimizes both aerodynamic performance and rider comfort'

and where would we be without integrated bottle cages?

it would be useless to deny that i was once in thrall to colnago; i own a colnago master and original c40, the latter with an art decor paint scheme. both feature a cloverleaf cross section on their lugged top tubes - stylish yet different. while i'm sure i would delight in possession of a steel arabesque frameset, cementing the finest of colnago's italian heritage, the y1rs, for me at least, is several steps too far, and very much in the wrong direction.

but that should come as no surprise to anyone.

uk prices for a complete bicycle commence at £11,207

colnago y1rs

tuesday 10 december 2024