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the man and his bike - wilfried de jong. ebury press hardback. 250pp £14.99

"Fifteen minutes ago we had driven at a snail's pace through the local countryside. In the village of Arenberg, we even saw signs of life. A woman with her raincoat zipped up to her chin walked down the street, pulling a shopping trolley behind her. [...] She passed a man who was waiting for the bus, his face like a potato peeled in a hurry."

amongst an entire genre of eccentric musicians, thelonious sphere monk is something of an oddity; an eccentric amongst eccentrics, if that isn't to underline my point just a tad too much. the pianist, born in october 1917, composed more than just a few tunes that are now regarded as jazz standards, titles such as 'round midnight', 'straight no chaser' and 'in walked bud' to name but a few. he is the second most-recorded jazz composer after duke ellington, despite writing fewer than ten percent of the latter's considerable output. he is also responsible for the delightfully named 'crepuscule with nellie', a recording that surely ought to appear in everyone's record collection, if only for the title.

but his eccentricity did not stop at the chords and the titles of his compositions. he also had a particularly distinctive style in clothing, hats and sunglasses, the latter often worn even in darkened venues. and frequently, during solos by accompanying musicians, he'd arise from the piano stool and dance for a moment or two before returning to the keys. a possibly apocryphal story concerns monk listening to other musicians playing several of his compositions and observing "they're making all the wrong mistakes."

thelonious monk also features in a chapter entitled wool. new york in wilfried de jong's superb collection of short stories. here, though the narrative is imbued with the sounds of jazz, monk is represented by a steel pegoretti.

"...my extra baggage consisted of my very own racing bike. Custom-made and named after the high priest of jazz pianists, a man who had lived and breathed this city."

the author is a celebrated dutch broadcaster, writer and journalist and apparently an excellent judge of a book cover. the subject of the latter is unlikely to find himself a future career as the face of l'oreal, but as a warning to the reader that this might be the result by the end of chapter 23, it could not be more graphic. a man and his bike consists of 23 short stories, a mixture of fact and fiction, though his pace of writing will have you puzzling over which is of one and which the other. after the first three chapters, i gave up any pretence of figuring i knew which was which and settled down to enjoy the ride. and enjoyable this set of stories most certainly is.

though i may subsequently be accused of heresy, even on a thelonious monk recording, there may possibly be a single tune that doesn't immediately click. not so midst the contents of the man and his bike; there is scarcely an opportunity to draw breath. and though all are written by the same dutchman, you'd hardly find this as a point of conversation; de jong's transparent, energetic style demonstrates a fresh approach at each chapter heading. and the latter are every bit as eccentric as thelonious' compositions: 'click-clack', 'hotel neuf', 'munkzwalm', and 'jim shine fine' to name but four.

the style is frequently colloquial and almost always in the first person, offering an immediacy that betrays de jong's broadcasting background. and for those who have shown concern that the aforementioned pegoretti may be the only shining example, at the root of every story is the bicycle itself.

"An American. Oh joy. On one of those ugly Trek bikes, I was willing to bet. Or a Ridley. A pro I knew used to swear that a Ridley frame is made from old heating pipes. Bikes devoid of all style."

midst all the histories of the grand tours and autobiographies of riders still in their twenties, 'the man and his bike' is a sparkling beacon. not only is this compulsory reading for the cognoscenti, it ought to accompany every new road bike and sportwool jersey sold in the next decade as the ideal introduction to the sport for those still unsure of the arena they may have mistakenly entered. history has frequently placed the local cycle club in charge of the new adherent's velocipedinal education, but under the section entitled required reading, space must now be reserved for a new manual.

and if you're all alone in the wilderness, bereft of any nearby pelotonese for consultation, here truly is the answer.

"Where are they now, Baha and his bike? I hope they have headed into the mountains. Lying exhausted at the roadside after a punishing climb. The cheek of Baha's distinguished face pressed to the saddle, his arms tenderly embracing the frame.
"Sleeping soundly together."

thanks to the generosity of the publishers, i have two copies of 'the man and his bike' to give away to the first chosen correct answers to the following question. 'which jazz musician features prominently in the book?'. e-mail answers along with a full postal address to brian@twmp.net closing date is wednesday 3 may.

wednesday 26 april 2017