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the grand tour files 2019 pete linsley. road theory softback 202pp £5.99

the grand tour files 2019 - pete linsley

sitting on the arm of my faux leather armchair as i scribble these words, is the current edition of procycling magazine, the cover of which features five notable cyclists, stamped with the legend "review of the decade 2010-2020". it is perhaps fortunate for ed pickering and his band of merry people, that there is a zero at the end of the year we have just begun to inhabit, for previous januarys have had their pages filled with reviews of only the previous year. this has also been the case for the comic, and probably true for several other international cycling publications. it's as predictable as lighting reviews come november and 'riding your first sportive/century' articles in the approaches to summer.

it's generally the only time of year when i regret having either a postal subscription or a regular newsagent's order, for in a perfect world, i'd simply avoid purchasing the january edition of anything. even my copy of downbeat magazine has filled many of its pages with the 'best albums of 2019'. the malaise, as i see it, is everywhere.

as i would imagine is the case for each and every member of the velocipedinal cognoscenti, i have watched as many days of cycle racing in 2019 as i could, including even the more obscure one day races in the months of spring. and though i continually promise myself that i will pay less televisual attention to the grand tours, it's a promise that remains largely unfulfilled. so, having watched these races, absorbed the results and possibly even discussed salient aspects of the parcours with fellow members of the velo club, why on earth would i wish to interrupt the month of january by reprising those events?

however, if i might narrow the premise just a tad, to encompass only the previous season's three grand tours, even though i'd have been hard-pressed to recall the victor of at least two of them, i would sturdily avoid re-living those nine weeks of my life. but, having said that, if they were written in the style of pete linsley's the grand tour files 2019, i might well relent. mr linsley's narrative style refuses to treat the giro, the tour and the vuelta as academic dissertations, ripe for forensic analysis, a style which leads to a more enjoyable time reading about races we've already seen, and the results of which (memory willing) we are already aware.

in his introduction to the book, the author examines the difficulties of watching every single televised minute of all three tours across the year. those who participate in the pedalling are not only paid to do so, but have the majority of their whims catered for by varying numbers of support staff. the bike is ready each morning, there's always a team car ready with a sticky bottle when needed, and any amount of jam sandwiches can be had prior to the daily massage. as sergei would attest, 'simples'.

for the average citizen, dependent on the daily travail to put food on the table, and invariably a cycling-agnostic family, who fail to see the attraction and necessity to watch quite so much of it on the telly box, sergei's profundity is somewhat less applicable.

"...how I get away with watching every moment of every Grand Tour on your behalf?
"That would be telling."

this tantalising, yet unfulfilled insight into his methodology is presaged with...

"For a pro cyclist to ride a Grand Tour, non-stop, without rest, sleep or recourse to intermittent budget hotel Wi-Fi,would take around three and a half full days. [...] But alas, it would also fall foul of stringent EU Working Time Directives; damn you, Brussels, with your draconian protection of workers' rights!"

despite a complete absence of illustrations or photographs, mr linsley's precis of each race is a joy to read, simply because i figure he has the healthiest of motives; he must surely take his cycling seriously, but has an excellent perspective on levity and brevity. for how else could a stage by stage discourse on the three week giro d'italia, occupy a mere 61, fun-filled pages?

"And today, in the standard Giro post-race parade of pink, Carapaz took to the podium with his two young kids. [...] Meanwhile, the population of his country went bananas.
"Or whatever the Ecuadorian equivalent is."

however, though i have already made mention of the cycling media's annual testament to the season past, mr linsley's appreciation of the tour de france's cliché festival is seemingly no different than our own. this is even to the extent of echoing the common chorus elevating the sporting attraction of both the giro and vuelta above that of le tour. yet there are probably more pairs of eyes watching the latter than either of the former.

"The Tour is the Tour, we will be reminded. Farmers will seize their moment to protest, Peter Sagan will win the Green Jersey. Sunflowers...overhead shots of bike themed town displays...horses running alongside the peloton...cuddly podium lions...crashes...thirty four years since a French win...blah...blah.
"You know the stuff."

if there is any justice in this world of bicycles, the services of pete linsley will be snapped up by one publication or another to pen their inevitable review of the year come next january. meanwhile, you owe it to yourself to grab a copy of this joyful, yet pleasantly underpriced book.

the grand tour files 2019 is available from amazon.co.uk

the grand tour files 2019 | road-theory.com

sunday 12 january 2020

twmp ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................