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cycling climbs of north-east england. a road cyclist's guide. simon warren. frances lincoln paperback. 122pp iilus.£8.99

clibs of north-east england - simon warren

such is the preponderance of climbing included in the majority of sportives nowadays, that the art of the grimpeur is in danger of being undermined by ubiquity. thus, in the quest for the next big thing, other than gradients climbing (pun intended) into the twenty-something percents, it may be seen as necessary to add a soupcon of something almost unrelated to the skill of ascending.

there's a 14% gradient on the singletrack islay road leading from kilchiaran towards portnahaven, which easily fits the description of short and sharp. it's hardly onerous in the grand scheme of things that includes alpe d'huez, the ventoux or the galibier, for its length errs very much on the minimal side. but what gives it that extra frisson is a particularly unkempt surface and shovelfuls of gravel resulting from the road's deterioration.

in case you've spent your entire nairo quintana inspired career riding up and down pristine road surfaces, it is worth my pointing out that gravel has a distinctly negative influence on tyre grip, a factor exaggerated in direct proportion to the gradient over which such gravel is spread. this sort of extra is one worth bearing in mind when leafing through each and every one of simon warren's excellent guides to britain's road climbs, the latest of which explores those of north-east england.

on the evens chance that your grasp of geography is as rudimentary as my own, the region covered by this small, yet perfectly formed volume includes northumberland, county durham, teesside and newcastle upon tyne. since the included map is displayed in isolation from the rest of the country, i cannot deny that i'm scarcely any the wiser, but a quick scour through google maps would likely remedy such geographical ignorance.

that extra something that i contend is needed by a hill of character offers its presence on two subsequent pages of this addictive manual of up. durham's south street and neville street, though admittedly categorised as 3/10 and 1/10 respectively, both feature cobbles of a different flavour and as everyone knows, road cyclists are obsessed by cobbles, whether on the level or climbing skywards. south street makes it only as far as 300 metres, while its compatriot manages a scant 130 metres, but cobbles can only be measured by quality; quantity is merely an optional extra.

as with each of the volumes in simon warren's growing collection of upward narratives, each of the included climbs offers a description that probably says more about mr warren's ability as a grimpeur than it does about the climbs themselves. when relating his navigation of hammer square bank in beamish...

"Thankfully, the slope never creeps that far above 15%; any higher and you'd have to deal with some wheel spin."

i fear that those of us less superhuman in our constitution would scarcely notice as we blinked away the black spots in front of our eyes while breathing through our ears.

as ever, the properties of each ascent are tidily described in strategically placed fact files, noting both the location and map reference, total distance, total height gain and approximate time to get to the top. all this beside a compact and bijou map. simon has optimistically included a blank checklist at the back, where the more intrepid than yours truly can tick each climb as it is conquered. i'm always keen on books that espouse their own flavour of optimism.

despite my avowed ignorance of the geography and topography of the british isles, collecting these marvellous little tomes has become addictive, as has religiously reading each one no matter the unlikelihood of my aspiring to simon's motto repeated at the end of each publication and on my water bottle: "ride them all"

for those of us more easily satisfied, i have amended that to "read them all". a total cop out, i grant you, but in my misguided case, a more achievable ambition.

100climbs.co.uk

thursday 3 august 2017

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