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gears for queers. abigail melton and lilith cooper. sandstone press paperback. 356pp £8.99 (e-book £4.99)

gears for queers - melton and cooper

this is possibly going to get me in all sorts of trouble, but since this book provides me with two basic kinds of problem, i might as well hit them head on right from the start.

i like to think of myself as a tolerant individual, with little in the way of prejudices, unless it concerns headsets or bottom brackets. people's sexual orientation is entirely their own business, and though i'm not entirely sure what each abbreviation in the lgbtq sequence represents, i'd like to think i offer no discrimination towards any of them. however, along with many others, i don't quite understand why certain folks wish to be defined by their sexual preference; why can't they just be people and leave it as that?

however, as you can perhaps gather from the title of the book under review, its two female authors constitute a lesbian couple. but that, in itself is not what bothers me. abigail (hereafter, known to as abi) is happy to be referred to as she or her, but her partner lilith (hereafter known to as lili) prefers to be classed as non-binary and thus referred to as they or them. that gives me a problem. the pronouns, they or them, are designed to refer to more than one individual, and whether or not lili wishes to be (rather pretentiously, i fear), thought of as non-binary) does not escape the fact that she is as much of an individual, as you, me, or her partner abi. i can but imagine the communication problems that would occur, should any one of us decide to redefine, not only ourselves, but the world around us.

just think what a conversation would be like if you called it a tree, but for no sane reason, i preferred to call it a giraffe. as i have said for years, there's the queen's english and then there's mistakes. it all but smacks of arrogance to alter the definition of two perfectly good pronouns.

and then there's the second problem, in that neither of the authors admits to having had any great cycling experience prior to their stated aim of riding from holland to spain. "Abi had never cycled more than the 20 minutes to and from work, while Lili had spent more time in psychiatric hospitals than away from their hometown." (their, in this case, referring to the non-binary individual - see where the confusion arises?)

it's easy to accept that both "...felt uncomfortable staking claim to the identity of 'cyclists', and struggled to feel our trip was legitimate." since there's no exam to be passed or authority to confer the status of 'cyclist', abi and lili are every bit as entitled to write a book about their travels as is anyone else. the term itself, is purely arbitrary. but then to claim, in the same introduction that, "Gears for Queers can be read by anyone, but it is written specifically for the queers, for other fat, disabled, trans, female, femme and non-binary people who are curious about cycle touring."

i'm afraid i can think of several books on cycle touring that i would recommend to the above categories of people before this one. their distinct lack of experience rather undermines the notion that anyone might learn from the pages that follow. and while i'm on that particular subject, there is little in the narrative that lends itself specifically to would-be cyclists who define themselves as 'queer'. after all the foregoing, it might come as something of a surprise to learn that, irrespective of gender or sexual preference, we all pretty much ride bicycles in the same way.

to add insult to injury, purely on the basis of their professed cycling ambitions, their preparation for the trip did not rest on acquiring bicycles designed for the job. i would defend to the last, the notion that cycling can be undertaken in regular clothes on bicycles bought from a hardware store or supermarket, but i doubt either of the above retail outlets would recommend their products as suitable for a journey extending over (a direct route of) 1500 kilometres. "...our bikes, Patti and Paula ... Steel-framed, bought second-hand from Gumtree..."

consider also, that this book extends to 356 pages, including the fact that neither of them actually made it to spain, ending their trip at montpellier, unable to carry on. mark beaumont's published and illustrated record of his 'round the world in 80 days' is only 60 pages longer.

after getting lost on their way to amsterdam, on day four, the authors purchase a perfectly legal 'joint' in a city coffee shop. "It's pure weed... The guy said to take it very, very slowly and only take one or two tokes." the rest of the chapter details how high and disoriented smoking the joint had made them, to be honest, not something i'd have thought of particular interest to those ...curious about cycle touring." in point of fact quite how abi was able to recall the day with such clarity of detail, is quite beyond me.

i apologise to any who might either have considered purchase of this book, or who have already pre-ordered and find themselves in complete disagreement with my appraisal. i know well that there's nothing that says it should be 'all about the bike', and obviously nothing to prevent the inexperienced from writing about their travels. getting them published, however, might be a different story for some. sandstone press ought perhaps to be respected for publishing outside the box, and for timing publication to coincide with 'pride month', but other than the vegan recipes that punctuate the narrative, i'm afraid i can find little to commend in this.

thursday 4 june 2020

twmp ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................