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the chain gang

many years ago, a uk distributor kindly sent me a chain that was stated to solve the perennial lubrication problem by being suitably lubricated at the point of delivery, and was expected to remain so for at least 1200-1400km. given the very nature of the hebrides, replete as they are with strong winds, heavy rain and normal road conditions that occasionally equal those of a gravel race, fitting this lubricated chain seemed the ideal opportunity to match hyperbole with reality. sad to say, the latter won by quite some margin.

by the time i had covered around 500km, the chain had begun its journey towards cacophony, and by the time i reached around 700km, not only did it look considerably less than aesthetically pleasing, but the constant squeaking was giving my nerves cause to re-think their life choices. i eventually gave in and lubricated the chain; unfortunately, doing so took place past what turned out to be the point of no return, and the chain was replaced before even spotting 1200km on the horizon. at the time, a standard chain could be purchased for anything between £25 and £30, depending on how shiny you like your links to be. though i have scrabbled to find my original notes, memory tells me the lubricated chain retailed in excess of £60.

had i done the arithmetic in the first place, it would have been glaringly self-evident that a £25 chain allied to a bottle of moderately expensive lubricant would have been considerably more economic, and that the review chain was never in the running in the first place.

there have been, in the interim, a large number of synthetic bicycle lubricants which describe themselves as the fastest ever, relying on computer projections and real world dynamometer tests to prove the veracity of these claims. however, once again, reality has a habit of minimising such expectations, however well intentioned is the manufacturer. for starters, the chain is reckoned to be the most efficient means of propulsion in history, so any minimising of friction by means of lubrication, is already inhabiting the tiniest of marginal gains. common lore would have it that a well-lubricated chain is 98-99% efficient, with even less than pristine examples dropping that efficiency by only a few percent.

while i can understand that the professional classes seek to eke out even a fraction of the 1% potential advantage still available, translated into riding spring classics and grand tours, there are so many opposing conditions that naturally seek to counter those minute advantages, that it scarcely seems to justify the time and money spent on the purported benefits.

and, as ever, it is you and i who will be found out-of-pocket, should we try to emulate those transient margins, for the professionals do not pay to discover if it works.

which brings me onto the subject of chain waxing, an historic fad that appears to have resurfaced as both riders and manufacturers seek to explore avenues other than those considered part of the natural order. unaccustomed as i am with the mores of gravel racing, the conditions that arose at last weekend's unbound gravel seem unlikely to have been mitigated in any way by the startline choice of lubrication. had any of the chains been waxed, i doubt so doing would have played any meaningful part in the outcome. silca's chain waxing solution retails at close to £100, yet seems not to arrive with any actual wax. granted, silca is a sponsor of both tadej's team and that of vingegaard; with several prominent riders on both teams, it would be a brave man or woman who attributed their recent successes to the waxing of their respective chains.

once again, i speak from a position of relative ignorance, having remained aloof from the possibilities of wax, and continuing to use one of those little plastic bottles of synthetic lube to maintain my own efficiency, such as it is. however, chain waxing inevitably involves removing the chain from the bicycle and placing it in a bath of hot wax, before man or womanfully attempting to replace it prior to the grand départ. according to extensive independent testing, a waxed chain is faster than its simply lubed counterpart, but as we have already discussed, that's not necessarily saying much. the uptick in use of wax on bicycle chains is reputedly the reason that campagnolo now offers a super-link for its twelve and thirteen speed chains, rather than the work of engineering art in the shape of its expensive chain tool that was previously considered mandatory.

but, if we take a look at the slightly wider picture which has the modern-day velocipedinist ditch the inner-tube in favour of tubeless tyres, it's clear to see that a picture of endless faff is emerging. a little-known fact is that the gloop that must be poured into a tubeless tyre in the hope of preventing punctures, has to be periodically removed and replenished, by which time it has almost certainly taken the form of a difficult-to-remove gunge, that may also have had a negative effect on the tyre valves. thus, careful preparation for any specific event now necessitates removal of the chain for a rigorous waxing, and potential removal of the tyres to ensure the internal gloop retains the ability to seal any unwarranted nicks and cuts on the tread or sidewall.

the problem here is not that either of the above are expensive (they certainly can be) or that they don't work (your mileage may vary), but that, quite frequently, we don't. there will, of course, be the exceptions to that rule; those for whom the bicycle is king or queen and deserving of endless but intentional fettling; but for the vast majority, the fact that the chain needed oiling, or the tyres inflating is something that only becomes apparent at the farthest point from home on a sunday morning. the very thought of advance preparation is not one that occurs with any great frequency. i know of several colleagues who don't maintain their bikes properly, even when they really, really should.

no matter what, real life will always win.

thursday 4 june 2026

dry paint

like it or not, cycle sport is but one facet of the world of entertainment, though that probably applies only to you and i, and not to those participating in the sport at its top level. jonas vingegaard did have a smile on his face as he won his final giro summit stage at piancavallo, but considering he was one minute 15 seconds ahead of second place, that may not have had much to do with entertainment. for those grovelling in his wake, especially the riders comprising the grupetto, the notion that someone, somewhere might find this entertaining was probably furthest from their minds. there's a reason why the three grand tours tend to agglomerate the mountain stages around the weekends, when the great unwashed are not at work, ready and able to stand at the roadside, cheering their heroes and lighting brightly coloured, irritating flares, while others needlessly run alongside the competitors, attempting to film the action on their phones.

i often wonder if the latter return to their homes at day's end, only to find endless minutes of juddery video in which it is all but impossible to distinguish just who they actually filmed. do they ever regret that they spent all day standing in the heat of the mountain, only to miss every second of the action because they were busy behaving like prats?

the majority of cycling events, whether by luck or design, sport the ability to keep thousands, if not millions of us entertained. given the money that tnt sports is charging their subscribers to watch cycle sport, it must be confident that the entertainment value is high enough to bring in the desired income. cyclocross, my favoured discipline, lasts a maximum of one hour and, as a result, is pretty much eyeballs out from when the lights go green, until someone crosses the finish line. xc and downhill mountain biking, however proximitous the latter is to 'actual' cycling it may or not be, attracts considerable fandom; track cycling has the added benefit of allowing full view of all the action, while the organisation of track events often ensures that there is scarcely a lull in the action throughout the evening.

the entertainment inherent in road racing is surely self-evident? the lengthy sprint stages and even the lomgest of the season, milan-sanremo, provide glorious vistas as a backdrop whenever the peloton is compatto. that was one of the main reasons so many brits tuned into itv4's live coverage of the tour de france, eager to see parts of rural france in which they might wish to book a holiday. by the time they're off the phone to the travel agent, the build-up to the sprint has already begun.

and then there's the new kid on the block: gravel. i have already made my opinion of the latter all too clear, but i remain nothing if not open-minded (at least in my little world) about its popularity and relevance to the human race. last weekend's unbound gravel, an event previously known as the dirty kanza had been effectively, timely and contrivedly setup by the internet froth brought about by specialized having torn the crux away from its cyclocross roots and placed firmly in the world of gravel, emulating a specialized tarmac but with ample tyre clearance. clickbait videos would have us believe that the changes have brought about worldwide consternation, a situation that could only be ameliorated by victory at unbound. as it transpired, that's precisely what happened, with specialized's offroad teams, both men and women placing four riders across both podiums, and all riders finishing fifth or better aboard that new crux.

it's really not hard to see why mike sinyard's company has placed so much of their faith in the gravel realm.

however, if i might briefly return to my alleged open-minded approach, with a few minutes to spare on saturday, i tuned into a youtube channel showing live coverage of the event, and later i took a few peeks at the edited highlights. i'm willing to admit that i did not over-reach my attention span, but i recall spending better times watching paint dry, or avoiding tv broadcasts of a runrig concert. i failed to spot more than a handful of spectators, while the ultimate length of the event at 350 miles (560 kilometres) rather mitigated against it being classed as entertainment.

according to specialized, the new crux 5 is "the most aerodynamic gravel race bike we've ever made." perhaps suggesting that the company spends too much time and money in the wind-tunnel. according to the science of aero, a rider would need to be travelling faster than 40kph to gain any real advantage from a reputedly slippery bicycle frame. the winner of this year's unbound, mads wurtz schmidt, averaged 36kph across the entirety of the course. but bear in mind that mads is a professional rider and doesn't pay for his bicycle. you and i are not so lucky, neither in the speed stakes or the free-bike paradigm. which leads me to question the need to offer a £12,000 aero gravel bike, and its more economic siblings.

one of the comments posted below a youtube highlights video, pronounced gravel racing to be probably the most pointless outpost of cycle sport, a sentiment with which i was quick to agree. a bit like improvisational jazz, it's probably more entertaining for the practitioners than it is for any audience. i have no qualms whatsoever over the freedom of the individual to ride his or her bike anywhere they darned well like. what i don't understand is quite why it was found necessary to invent gravel when xc mountain bikes and cyclocross bikes already existed, and on which anyone with nothing better to do could ride endless kilometres of gravel, bereft of interference from the uci, desperate to seem 'down with the kids' and up there at the pointy end of velocipedinal fashion.

believe me, one day, we'll all get together and have a good laugh about the pointlessness of gravel.

wednesday 3 june 2026

when is too much not enough?

though this blog is ill-equipped to deal with the serious iniquities of the world, it is of great disappointment to know that a world leader can more or less unilaterally decide to wage war on a country nowhere near his own, make a complete hash of everything, while claiming not only to have successfully achieved his objectives, but simultaneously continued equitable negotiations with the maligned target over the fact they have him by the short and curlies. and this reputedly successful war of mass destruction has meanwhile visited economic devastation on countries which have actively refused participation. i'm sure i need not make my point any clearer.

the result of the above action(s) has been a series of increased living costs across all parts of the world, yet resulted in a financial windfall for companies which have innocently acquired increased profits and show little intent of easing the situation by voluntary reducing their prices. it does seem particularly odd that the rising cost of a barrel of brent crude can immediately increase the price at the petrol pumps, despite the fuel available having been in the petrol station's storage tanks for the last week. should the pump price not be capped until the next delivery?

for some of us (me), the increased prices are only indirectly applied; i do not own a motor vehicle, and the croft is heated electrically. i have no nead for heating oil. however, since costs have increased for those who supply goods to the local shops, their increased prices can only have a negative impact on thewashingmachinepost budget. and with the inevitable increase in electricity prices come july, along with millions of others, i'll still suffer the slings and arrows of my energy bill. thankfully, at this time of year, in the northern hemisphere at least, the ambient temperature is high enough not to require heating the house, but there are, as we all know, many other household devices that will trouble the smart meter. economies will surely have to follow.

yet, where economy does not seem to be an important watchword, is amongst car owners. the scottish government recently mandated that bus fares in argyll & bute, along with other highland regions, would be capped at £2 per journey, meaning that for many on the island, the daily commute to work can now be achieved far more economically by public transport. yet, insofar as i can ascertain, car owners on the island are not driving any less than either before the rapid rise in fuel prices, or the imposition of a favourable price for local bus travel. youngsters with their allegedly souped-up astras, hondas and audis, are still driving about aimlessly over the course of a weekend, at speeds, if not in direct contravention of the official limits, certainly far higher than necessary and ill-disposed towards fuel economy.

the island's villages are small; as mentioned on way too many occasions, bowmore is but 1.5km end-to-end, with very few residents, if any, required to travel such a minimal distance to and from work. obviously there will be those who need to commute from either the other villages or more remote locations outside the local bus network. though several could easily do so by bicycle, i know of none who do. those who live and work in bowmore, or any of the other villages, could easily walk or cycle; some do walk, but i know of none who cycle. yet in the present times of the need for fuel economy, why wouldn't you? there are still school teachers who drive less than a couple of hundred metres.

so while the majority lament the prices advertised at the petrol pumps, the above continuing behaviour would tend to suggest that those prices might not be high enough. a work colleague advised earlier this week that she had paid £1.70 per litre for petrol, which strikes me as hardly the amount of money anyone would wish to waste on wholly unnecessary journeys. a friend of mine has previously hypothesised that it would take a manifest change in attitude of the average brit (probably also applicable in other countries) before any would admit the financial disadvantages of daily car use and the advantageous possibilities of commuting by bicycle. i'm perceptive enough to know that switching won't work for everyone, but it seems perfectly clear that the attitudes of many are well-entrenched, irrespective of the potential financial penalties.

friday 29 may 2026

however, it should still be a matter of choice. government imposition ought still to be a last resort, even if financial and environmental issues might suggest otherwise.

lost lanes scotland. jack thurston. wild things publishing softback. 151pp illus. £18.99

in my early twenties, i lived in troon, on scotland's west coast, while employed at prestwick airport's flight catering. with a daily start time of 7am, i was usually up and about before 6am to cycle to my place of work, then as now, in almost all weathers. difference was that the commute between troon and prestwick was considerably less fraught with winds, than are the hebrides. once out of troon, past a couple of golf courses, i turned right onto the road past southwoods, an area populated with a number of large, very, very expensive houses, some with driveways which almost demanded a petrol station midway. however, it was a particularly quiet road, which i think would possibly fit with jack thurston's definition of a lane, edged as it was by tall hedges and trees, many of which formed a canopy many metres above my head.

islay is many things, but a repository of lanes such as mr thurston might recognise, it probably isn't, very much at the behest of the aforementioned winds.

in those days of my morning and early evening commutes to and from the airport, my apprehension of velocipedinal life was not as it is today, having mysteriously bypassed any recognition of the possibilities of speed. yes, i was in awe of robert millar, and studiously watched channel four's daily coverage of the tour de france, but the connection between the latter and my daily travels, would not be regrettably learned until many years later.

if, like me, you would hardly associate scotland with the notion of a country populated by quiet lanes, the latest in jack thurston's enduring quest, since 2013, to explore the lanes of great britain, should put us all to shame. subtitled '40 glorious bike rides on quiet lanes and gravel trails', stretching from kirkcudbright and stranraer in the south west to altnaharra and lochinver in the north, the often delightfully named rides ('ring of dark water', 'the mountains are calling', and 'trails of the unexpected', to name but three) should help disavow us of the errors of our ways.

these are conveniently categorised into five scottish regions, followed by a table displaying the rides at a glance, should you need some tentative guidance before diving deeper. gpx files are available for all.

the author's introduction provides an appreciation of scotland for those quite possibly unused to its reality from the saddle, though, anecdotally, quite probably more than aware of what they might experience. mr thurston is 100% correct when he states, "On a bicycle you notice the clues. The weathered milestone half-hidden in bracken. The bridge that's just wide enough for a train of packhorses. This is time travel at a human pace." you would be correct in pointing out that this is applicable to almost any location you care to mention, but i am proud enough of my country to conceitedly insist that it is particularly true of scotland. consider this, if you will: the population of england is approximately 59 million. scotland is home to less than a tenth of that number. by extrapolation, that would surely suggest that scottish lanes are proportionally quieter.

parochially, i hide my disappointment that the chapter entitled, best for whisky concentrates almost entirely on areas that are not islay or jura. but in truth, despite those forty catalogued bike rides, the author never left the scottish mainland (perhaps leaving the way open for a lost lanes; scottish islands?). however, the luxury of this book (and by extent, the entire series), is not only the author's skills as a writer, but his companion ability to take inspiring photographs. though not all contained within lost lanes scotland originated from mr thurston's camera, he is credited with the majority. and while guide-book reviews often result in searches for quotes that might best illustrate the authors' way with words, the task with lost lanes revolved more around what not to choose.

"There's no hunt for parking. In Scotland bikes are welcome almost everywhere - because cycling is a gentle way to travel. But ease and efficiency don't fully explain the bicycle's appeal. It's when rider and bicycle are working together that cycling really sings."

or...

"The eroded stumps of ancient volcanoes that once erupted across the landscape are the crags on which Edinburgh, Stirling and Dumbarton castles now stand. Today, the Midland Valley, drained by the Rivers Clyde and the Forth, is where 70 per cent of the population lives. It is bounded to the south by the Southern Uplands, rounded hills that extend from coast to coast, covered by moorland, forest and farms."

in a chapter headed, The Fabric of Scotland, thurston provides a concise geological and social history of the country "Take a look at a topographical or relief map of the British Isles and you'll see that all the exciting stuff happens at the top. The superlatives come thick and fast." why take the time to ride through any or all forty lost lanes, without being aware of that which surrounds you? mr thurston's perceptiveness and illustrative excellence has added benefit for the armchair traveller, allowing a curated tour of some of the country's more arcane corners, with no danger of a puncture.

that authorial perspective is greatly enhanced by salient advice on the practicalities of slowly and quietly riding north of the border. prior to entering the kernel of the book, there are sections dealing with routes and maps, gps navigation, travelling by train or bus, the most suitable type of bicycle ("The rides in this book can be ridden on any bike that's in good mechanical order and the right size for the rider. A touring bike or a gravel bike is ideal."), and if you're less than mechanically adept, 'when things go wrong' might be worth reading more than once.

"Big skies. Distant horizons. Empty roads. In this vastness, mundane concerns fade into the background. The mental to-do list of everyday life dissolves. You are free to ride away from that restless, hyperactive mind."

the only part on which i would make additional comment is mr thurston's contention that "The estate road ...thanks to Scotland's 'right to roam', is now open to anyone on foot or bike." in actual fact, that 'right to roam' is more specifically defined as the 'right of responsible access'. islay is comprised of several estates, as are many parts of the highlands, and i can think of a few local 'estate roads' along which roaming might not be advisable, particularly those which serve as access to the owners' private abodes. think how you'd feel if folks regularly rode their bicycles through your front garden.

that minor point aside, this is a highly desirable gem of a book, in every sense: visually and literary. i want to be jack thurston when i grow up.

lostlanes.co.uk

thursday 28 may 2026

how green is my valley?

an article in yesterday's guardian newspaper highlighted concerns by highlands and islands green party msp, ariane burgess, that holyrood does not, in fact, have any clear definition of just what would constitute a green datacentre. and this despite the scottish government's desire to place such technology at the heart of its economic development. according to ms. burgess, the country urgently needs transparency around what constitutes a green datacentre and how their enormous energy demands (potentially 6.2 gigawatts - 1.5 times greater than scotland's peak power demands in the depths of winter) will be accommodated. apparently, there are currently more than a dozen planning applications under scrutiny across the country, but with no advisory definition that might affect the granting of permissions.

according to the report, an applicant in edinburgh this year argued that its submission constituted a green datacentre, despite the inclusion of 200 diesel backup generators. it appears that this argument was accepted by the planning authority, conceding that there was no specific definition to which they were required to adhere. the concern would surely be that these datacentres are therefore given planning permission which would persist, even if holyrood eventually enforced a definition that would have excluded some or all of the applications in the first place.

datacentres are employed for all manner of purposes, particularly those brought about by the current fad for the substantial computational demands of artificial intelligence. those owned by the likes of amazon web services and ibm are used for any number of purposes ranging from personal cloud photos and emails to massive enterprise databases and financial records, as well as online transactions, keeping retail sites running smoothly and securely 24/7. and wouldn't you just know it, they're also required by both zwift and strava to provide the services demanded by subscribers to both, despite, as many have proved, it being perfectly possible to ride a bicycle without resort to either.

zwift's server architecture utilises cloud infrastructure such as amazon web services (aws). These servers perform the heavy lifting of calculating player positions, tracking event leaderboards, and managing the global player cluster, using networking techniques developed for high-frequency financial trading. however, the 3d graphics and rendering are processed locally on whatever sits in front of your smart turbo trainer. that particular device, be it computer, ipad or apple tv, communicates with zwift's datacentres by continuously sending and receiving small data packets, which is why the platform uses very little internet data.

strava relies heavily on third-party public cloud data centres rather than owning or operating their own facilities. its core infrastructure operates on aws, using massive cloud facilities to host its vast dataset, handling millions of daily activity uploads, and power features like athlete intelligence, though under the circumstances, that might be construed as something of an oxymoron. amazon web services power the backend application logic, handle the artificial intelligence and machine learning requirements and manages real-time, yet temporary events before they are subsequently archived. strava also hosts its massive data set, storing over 120 terabytes of data and trillions of gps points on the snowflake ai data cloud to handle complex queries and analytics.

this more or less flies in the face of the long held belief that the bicycle is one of the most environmentally friendly means of transport. that may well be practically and theoretically true, but if cyclists on a grand scale (zwift purports to have almost one million subscribers, plus the additional 300,000 they'll have added with the purchase of rouvy, while strava's numbers are closer to two hundred million) make use of either or both platforms to train or plan their journeys, then the scottish government is not the only one with a definition problem.

of course, it's highly unlikely that cyclists the world over have any clue as to the sizeable resources being employed at their behest, supplying data and calculations in real-time to simulate the very experiences that could just as easily be replicated in the great outdoors. after all, as someone with a greater sense of perspicacity than yours truly once said:

"outdoors is free."

tuesday 26 may 2026

i don't love you no more

new bicycles bear no relation whatsoever to london buses. anecdotally, the latter are alleged to be absent from view for a notable period of time, before several arrive simultaneously. new bicycles, on the other hand, seem to appear almost continuously, each subsequent arrival described in the marketing blurb as the fastest ever, though often qualified by pointing out that this applies solely in relation to its predecessor from the same brand. and as these unique moments in the history of carbon fibre arrive on the shop floor, they are often replete with the very latest in velocipedinal technology. i'm referring to those hinge-like steerers, one-piece integrated cockpits, dropped seatstays, power meters, sram compatible derailleur hangers and tubeless tyres on hookless rims.

who could possibly resist?

well, now that you come to mention it, me, for one.

thankfully, at present, i do not find myself in the market for a new bicycle, a situation i fervently hope continues for several years to come. for starters, any bicycle that might once have been marketed as pertaining to cyclocross, has now fallen into the gravel category, while the former disappears from the lexicon without a word of goodbye. and strangely enough, even those in the business of selling or servicing modern bicycles, refer to the cable/hose integration in terms that would have you justifiably doubt the pragmatism of the whole idea.

a recently mentioned attempt by yours truly to set the indexing on a friend's mountain bike was effectively stymied by internal cable-routing that obscured any visible lack of tension on the cable. a simple look at an externally routed derailleur cable is often enough to diagnose a problem. and if ever i need to replace a cable or brake hose, i'd really rather not have to expose the innards of the headset routing over the course of a couple of days. i can only imagine the stream of expletives on learning things still don't work after all has been reassembled. and the very thought of an ovalised steerer keeps me awake at night.

obviously enough, there are still a number of manufacturers who have, so far, kept well away from such developments (ritchey, for instance), but noting that the latter now offers the super butano ridge one-piece bar and stem, along with a cable guide and headset adapter, i do wonder if tom's already crafting a steel logic frameset with internal cable routing, cutting off my integrated refuge.

this is becoming an almost insurmountable problem for someon who has spent more than the last thirty years writing about bicycles and their attendant technology. i will readily admit to being an incurable cynic, but when every new arrival almost demands to have the finger of scorn pointed in its direction, the 'normality' arrows in my quiver are rapidly depleting. ideally, i want to be celebrating the genre of road cycling, whether of the competitive milieu or otherwise, but when i cannot get a definitive explanation as to whether dropped seatstays are an engineering revelation or simply an aesthetic trend, i think my hands have been well and truly tied.

yet i'm trying very hard not to take this too personally, but when i have been nudging back against integrated headsets, external bottom bracket cups, gravel bikes and electronic groupsets like the very luddite i believe myself to be, for almost a decade, what else am i supposed to think? quite obviously they're doing this on purpose, and as a result, i'm beginning to re-assess my life choices. granted, the reputed downturn in bicycle sales could be the result of many too many in complete agreement with my points of view, signed, sealed, delivered by the often astronomical prices commanded for what mike burrows described as 'burnt plastic'.

my concern is that thewashingmachinepost becomes renowned for its self-opinionated pessimism, when my friends no longer speak to me in the playground, and i find myself excluded from the sharp end of the peloton. if you'll pardon the pun, it would be nice to think that these things run in cycles, that in a matter of only a few years, the industry as a whole will follow the example of the record industry, which has once again, realised the joy of vinyl, and start looking to road-cycling's rich heritage, when all was, simple, effective, economical and embedded in a rosy garden. if, by some strange quirk of fate, that actually happens, i'll expect an appropriate plaque affixed to the outer wall of the croft.

but until that day comes...

monday 25 may 2026

are we trying too hard?

it's not unusual to read letters from folks on islay complaining about the state of the roads. i'd imagine it's a scenario played out all across the land. for reasons that have yet to be explained, britain's roads are crumbling in the face of either poor, or poorly funded, repairs, though not always for the same reasons. in the most recent missive to catch my eye, right at the start of this year's islay whisky festival, the author claimed to have walked a four kilometre stretch of the road between port charlotte and portnahaven and counted a total of over 200 potholes. it's a stretch of road that does, in fact, seem to have escaped the ministrations of the local council, as i cannot recall it ever having been included in the annual repairs notifications. as a result, it more closely resembles an abstract patchwork quilt than a main road.

i mention the whisky festival predominantly because it is largely responsible, both directly and indirectly, for much of the decimation of the island's roads, yet is subject to somewhat of a paradox when it comes to benefitting the infrastructure of the island that helps it lay the golden egg. the national treasury reputedly benefits to the tune of over £200 million per year from the duty applied solely to islay's single malts. but when it comes time to repatriate some of that money to keep the roads alive, we encounter an offshoot of the nationalism issue. for the government gathering the whisky shekels, is not the government responsible for funding road repairs.

if you take the number of articulated trucks required to service the distilleries by way of the supply of whisky's constituent parts, and the taking away of the finished product to be bottled or matured on the mainland, their number and weight does little to aid the tarmac. then you have to factor in that the majority of islay's distilleries have their production waste (pot ale) collected in 40ft road tankers, which ply the roads seven days a week (the scottish environmental protection agency - sepa - do not allow the disposable of waste into the sea, even though it is mainly organic in nature). then last, but not least, are the thousands of visitors who arrive on these shores every year, intent on enjoying as many distillery experiences as they can fit into a single visit.

add all this road traffic together, and you have the perfect recipe for decimation of roads already in a state of disrepair, and unlikely to see any remedy while the scottish government (the one which does not benefit from the duty applied to scotch whisky) continues to reputedly underfund the local councils.

i'm sure the more astute amongst you will appreciate that despite britain's roads being traversed by both motor vehicles and bicycles, it is the former that create the greater damage to their surfaces, yet the latter that often has to suffer the consequences. the only arrow we have in our armoury is a better ability to avoid the bulk of the destruction, if only on the single track examples. but anecdotes about the pitfalls of cycling on britain's roads are more usually employed to gain sympathy from those who could care less. the more productive of discussions ought surely to revolve around encouraging the non-believers to at least try cycling as an economic, pragmatic and environmentally sound means of transport?

or is it possible that the latter tactic is in danger of over-egging the pudding? i cannot be the only one who despairs of receiving phone calls from anonymous companies keen to offer me the lowest of prices for my electricity and gas (though the latter is a tad pointless as the hebrides have no mains gas supply). why are they so reluctant to learn that, were i wishing to avail myself of better prices, am i not big and ugly enough to research matters on my own? is the population of britain so helpless and ineffective that it is incapable of looking after its own energy costs? however, if you agree with that contention, are we, as confirmed velocipedinists, not frequently guilty of practising the same? if cycling is so great (and it undoubtedly is), is it not capable of its own public relations offensive?

a bike biz report from the recent taipei cycle show stated that, "the pandemic boom is over, inventories are still working down and the new normal looks leaner and slower than anyone had hoped." taking that at face value, there seems to be a notable separation between the much-vaunted joys of cycling, and the need for the bicycle industry to save itself from itself. at the risk of stating the glaringly obvious, the cycle industry wants to sell more bikes for financial gain, while, in principle, you and i want more bikes sold because we think it's great. the evidence would point to those two aims being somewhat different in intent.

so are we all trying too hard? has the industry become guilty of fostering incessant change in the hope of repeatedly attracting shop floor sales? and is our congenital habit of turning the conversation to cycling at each and every opportunity just a bit too much for the unconverted?

if you agree, the next big question, is "what, if anything, do we do about it?"

saturday 23 may 2026

living in hope

travel guides and whisky pr companies delight in referring to islay and jura as remote, an adjective entirely subjective in its appropriation, and largely dependent on your point of view. i dare say that, if you were hoping to depart the island on a friday morning, and, for whatever reason, the ferry was cancelled, then suddenly the island might well appear as more remote than you thought on the day of arrival. but having had need of visiting scotland almost two weeks ago, the fact that the ferry left at the appointed hour in the morning and returned from kennacraig as timetabled in the evening, at no time was i particularly aware of the reputed remoteness of my abode.

you might even be considerably less inclined to describe islay by its distance from the scottish mainland, were you to arrive and depart by aeroplane, from and to glasgow airport. barely has the aircraft levelled out above the clouds, than the steward or stewardess announces a need to ready oneself for landing. and as a delightful aside, mid-flight, the cabin staff offer some water and a tunnock's caramel wafer; almost as scottish as a single malt.

of course, even living here will curate the occasional period of remoteness, particularly on learning that the daily newspapers will either be delayed until about 4pm, or, as has frequently been the case recently, not at all. i will agree, however, that when the island appears on youtube movies or tv documentaries, it does appear considerably more remote than it feels during day-to-day living. even when sitting some 50km from home, on the shores of the north atlantic ocean, to the average member of the peloton, it incurs few, if any, sensations of remoteness.

but it is perhaps unfair of me to express this as a point of view. i have lived in the hebrides for almost forty years, plenty of time to decide whether this is the life for me, and to become used to the foibles of living on a remote scottish island. but if you've only chosen islay as one part of your scottish hebridean holiday, intending only to stay a few, all-too-brief days, should matters not proceed as desired, perhaps the suffocating walls of remoteness begin to close in.

just prior to lunchtime on thursday afternoon, i received an e-mail from the manager of the islay rum distillery in port ellen (about 15km south of bowmore). he had with him an american cyclist who, he informed me, had destroyed one of his cleated cycle shoes due to an unspecified happenstance, and was wondering if there was anyone on the island who might have a pair of size nine cycle shoes, preferably with a working pair of cleats to fit a shimano spd, offroad pedal. on the reasonable assumption that yours truly had the very items he required, i phoned the distillery and spoke to the hapless cyclist, offering to have the very items sent over to the distillery by way of one of my office colleagues who lives within shouting distance of the rum distillery.

however, prior to leaving the office, i received another call from the manager to advise that the fellow had contacted a bike shop in oban (about 80km north of islay's mainland ferry terminal) to which he expected to travel by bus earlier today. i didn't enquire further, but given that the oban bus does not leave from kennacraig, but either from lochgilphead (30km distant), or inveraray (69km), quite how he hoped to arrive at either town with only a single cleated shoe, i really didn't want to know.

apparently he had arranged for a suitable pair of shoes and cleats to be sent next day delivery to the oban shop, allowing him to continue with his hebridean odyssey. but to briefly return to the discussion over the remoteness of the area, i replied to the distillery manager expressing my hope, on the cyclist's behalf, that next day delivery to oban was a tad more reliable than it is on islay.

it would, of course, be the wrong side of overkill to head out on a cycle tour carrying a spare pair of cycling shoes, particularly in light of the cost of many. however, a spare pair of cleats wouldn't break the bank and would occupy very little space in the panniers or bikebags. but the aimed moral of the above story revolves around the local knowledge that things taken for granted in suburbia, are likely to be considerably different on the islands, or the more remote villages on scotland's west coast. i have frequently witnessed visitors standing at village bus stops on sunday mornings, blissfully unaware that there is no bus service on that day. not even to meet the ferries. there are several locations around the island where there is no mobile signal of any description, and ev chargers are very thin on the ground.

so inured are we to the so-called essentials that we lack, that i'd struggle for a while trying to identify them and extend this sentence.

if you're intending to cycle to any of the islands, do your research in advance, and take spares of anything you think might prove to be a problem. ideally, you would embrace all that you find (or don't find), but as the years pass by, it is noticeable that mainland visitors appear to have become more and more cossetted by the facilities they have (temporarily) left behind, expressing incredulity that things are different on the outer edges.

just saying.

friday 22 may 2026

what the heck

the hebridean whale and dolphin trust (hwdt), based on the island of mull, about 60km north of islay, has led the way in the conservation of whales, dolphins and porpoises in the waters of western scotland for over three decades. though travelling to mull is possible only by first reaching oban and taking a calmac ferry to craignure, on clear days (such as yesterday for example), the hills of mull are clearly visible from the north western parts of islay, interrupted only by the isle of colonsay in between. on tuesday of this past week, the trust invited me to attend an exhibition of work carried out by children of port charlotte primary school, following twelve weeks of visits to the school by members of the trust's outreach team, visits which included a trip to see their research vessel, silurian.

the exhibition, also attended by parents of several of the children, was held in port charlotte's natural history trust building, situated below the island's youth hostel, some 17km south west of bowmore. but importantly, any cyclist would have to pass by debbie's cafe in bruichladdich to reach there, whether coffee forms an integral part of your diet or not.

at the time of receipt of my invite last week, the forecast for tuesday was highly commendable, ideal, since i have no other means of transport other than my trusty bicycle. unfortunately, islay's public transport system is not geared to getting anyone where they need to go at the time they need to be there. it might have been possible to arrive timeously in port charlotte by bus to attend the presentation, but there is a high likelihood that i'd have had a long wait for transport home.

so bicycle it had to be.

i believe we've had this discussion before, but i fail to comprehend why meteorological reports are referred to as forecasts, when they frequently change by the hour. suffice it to say, by the weekend, tuesday's weather was looking decidedly inclement, with winds hovering around the 50kph mark accompanied by persistent rain. so, in order to forestall any recriminations, i e-mailed my potential host to advise that, should the forecast ultimately turn out to be accurate, given my velocipedinal status, i may be forced to cancel, and asked if they might send a few words and images from which i might choose.

lest you think, however, that i have joined the ranks of the wimp, when it comes to riding in poor weather, i should point out that my fondness for riding in any conditions has not altered one whit. but it has always seemed a tad disrespectful and possibly unpragmatic to spend time indoors at such a gathering while dripping on the floor, shivering in the cold, and continually apologising to attendees for one's dishevelled constitution. in short, i really don't care if i get utterly drenched on the way home, but i'd prefer not to arrive in such a condition.

so, having resigned myself to the notion that i would not be incorporating a bike ride into my tuesday, i proceeded to continue with my other work. only, unexpectedly, the weather cleared, and as i passed the front door of the office, i couldn't help noticing that the rain had dissipated and there was blue sky midst the overhead clouds, encouraging me to cast aside any misgivings, and head home to drag the specialized from the bikeshed and pedal off into the wide, grey yonder.

just under half way to my destination, the rain commenced once again, but in relatively minimal quantities, before once again disappearing into the ether, ensuring that i arrived in port charlotte dry enough to blend in with the crowd. well, blending, apart from a rapha jacket, a pair of bib-threequarters and cleated offroad shoes.

you will recall that i earlier made mention of debbie's forming an important of the scenery, a visit to which it felt rude not to include on the return journey. there is nothing more comforting on an overcast day, than an excellent soya latte.

if you're struggling to discover a moral in the above tale, it's surely recognition of the fact that weather is simply weather, and should never be considered as a hindrance or obstacle to going for a bike ride, whether purposeful or not. conditions in this case were considerably better than originally expected, but i am convinced that simply taking the bull by the horns, and the bike by the handlebars, is a far better option than hiding indoors, citing weather conditions as the reason for so doing. eventually, not only will you start believing your reasoning to be pefectly sound, but there's a good chance that you'll end up spending more time finding excuses not to do something, than on reasons why you should.

remember, nothing's ever worse after a bike ride.

hebridean whale and dolphin trust

thursday 21 may 2026

gravel rides edinburgh, fife & the lothians - markus stitz. vertebrate publishing paperback. 139pp illus. £15.95

the sight of wout van aert winning the marly grav in valkenburg last weekend, if nothing else, underlined that, irrespective of author markus stitz' appreciation of the activity, gravel might well be viewed as every bit as important as the giro d'italia, particularly in the eyes of visma lease-a-bike. as jonas vingegaard attempts to capture the pink jersey in italy, the man who one would perhaps expect to assist the dane in taking his first podium top step in milan, was allowed to fly solo over limburg's unmade roads.

however, before anyone rushes to acquire a copy of 'gravel rides edinburgh, fife & the lothians' in the hope of learning how to emulate the belgian, the other side of the gravel coin depicted in markus' latest volume, tends to concentrate on a less frantic approach to gravel.

mr stitz has an enviable reputation in the world of gravel, having expertly navigated the world of social media to bring the joys of bikepacking to the great unwashed. while his last book from the vertebrate publishing catalogue concentrated on rides on my side of the country, this latest volume provides something of an east coast balance, presenting 15 gravel bike advetures around scotland's capital city. as with his previous explorations, the author has conveniently categorised the rides into three sections: easy, straightforward and challenging, ranging from an economical 17.2km to a somewhat alarming 244km around fife, added here as a bonus ride. thankfully, the accompanying challenging rides listed are curtailed to a less strenuous 56.9km (mark beaumont's edinburgh bypass) before topping out at 89.1km (the great polish map of scotland), starting at the city's haymarket station; ideal if arriving from other regions of scotland.

gravel riding is reputedly on the rise, though increased sales of gravel bikes may have more to do with the current state of scotland's (and britain's) roads than intrepid desires to explore the undergrowth. the majority of the velo club have moved to either cyclocross bicycles (yours truly) or gravel, in order to ensure we remain true to the rubber side down mantra adopted by most of us. but gravel is sufficiently new on the horizon to have acquired recent acolytes, many of whom may find themselves, if not ignorant of the locations, certainly apprentices when it comes to finding their collective way around its twists and turns. which is just where markus is ready and willing to help.

and, to paraphrase julie andrews, the best place to begin is surely at the beginning. to this end, the author explains not only how to use this book, but thoughtfully includes advice on access and legalities, including scotland's outdoor access code, wild camping, and taking care to avoid any deer stalking activities (a real concern even on this side of the nation). since the whole purpose of the book is geared (pun intended) towards exploring the region by bicycle, markus defines what he considers to be machinery capable of allowing comfort and joy midst the gravel to be found en-route. the advice not to leave a bike shop maintenance visit until the day prior to the grand départ is particularly pertinent.

then of course, there's the not insignificant question of just what to wear when attempting to be gravellous. it would take a brave and possibly foolish approach to dress in similar fashion to the aforementioned wout van aert (visma skinsuit), though i note that markus has creditably omitted this from his comprehensive list; ticking off each items on his lengthy checklist would make for a pragmatic initial approach. it is to be hoped that the majority of those heading out into the hinterlands will enjoy a relatively incident free bike ride, but the time to consider what you might do if or when things go wrong, is not in the middle of nowhere on scotland's east coast. in which case, it well behoves the reader to pay attention to the section on what do do if there's an accident.

and no book about cycling in scotland would be worth its salt if it failed to mention midgies.

each route opens with an overview of the terrain and location, augmented with a route profile, distance, ascent, required o/s maps, and parking with ev charger access. aside from being a hardy soul on the bike, an excellent videographer and writer, markus is no stranger to the digital camera, decorating each chapter with superb, illustrative photography. and though many will use smartphone maps or gps files (available for download) to navigate each ride, it's worth considering carrying paper o/s maps as backup, lest the batteries fail on your electronic devices. or perhaps confidently rely on the quality maps included along with each and every route, accompanied by more than comprehensive step-by-step directions.

accepting the knowledge of experts in every field of life is not to be underestimated, particularly if you're a tad unsure of just where you're going, and where you might end up. while markus can't help you ride your bike, he can help enormously at the pre-planning stage, ensuring that the ride itself is as enjoyable as you always hoped it would be.

wednesday 20 may 2026

adventure books

oh yes they did

i have employed this anecdote on at least one previous occasion, but since i believe it has a certain pertinence to today's monologue, with your permission, i'm about to use it once again.

in the 1980s, buoyed with the relative success of my percussive career, i decided to expand my drumset via the addition of a second, larger, bass drum mounted rack tom. the original drum atop the bass was 12" x 8", while its new accomplice would be a still-traditional 13" x 9" tom. the kit i owned at the time, was a beverley, a set manufactured by the premier drum company, in a tactile, gold foil finish, a wrap offered by the aforementioned premier company, but with a slightly different texture. however, it occurred that the majority of those to whom i would be playing, would scarcely notice, let alone care about the difference.

visiting a premier dealer in glasgow, i placed an order for the suitable replacement, configured to be placed on the right hand side of my drumset, necessitating the tom holder being fitted to the left. assuming it to be drumshop humour, i was mildly surprised when the shop assistant informed me that there may be a slight wait for my order, as the factory was currently producing left-hand drums, but would switch to right-hand products at the end of the month. you may not know anything at all about drums, but i'm willing to guess that you'll be aware that they are round. that being the case, why would there be right-hand and left-hand designated products?

the answer revolved around placement of the manufacturer's badge, intended to face outward and advertise the brand to a less than caring audience. thus, if the badge on my new drum were to be seen correctly, the tom holder would require to be on the left, if the drum were to be placed on the right hand side of the bass drum. it transpired that the premier drum company manufactured tom toms to be seen on the left during one month, before switching to right-mounted drums on the following month. this odd state of affairs persisted until the company was bought over by the yamaha corporation who advised that they simply placed manufacturer badges on both sides, thus obviating the problem completely.

glaringly obvious when pointed out.

my rather convoluted point revolves around the recognition that certain manufacturing advances, however simple, can genuinely solve a hitherto unforeseen or undesirable problem, as illustrated above. no doubt there are similar examples that pertain to the cycle industry, but purely from personal observation, this particular industry usually seems hellbent on either reinventing the wheel, or creating a solution that subsequently has to seek out a problem. and to my mind, absolute black are rapidly becoming a prime example. i will agree that most recently, i offered untrammeled praise for their hydraulic brake piston press, which promises to make the replacement of disc pads a tad more efficient than before. but one can only recognise that they persist with the production of oval chainrings, a shape which many contend, achieve nothing whatsoever.

they also produce those fashionably enormous derailleur jockey wheels, which look ridiculous, and, according to shimano, do not achieve the promises made. but they have now released valves designed for use with tubeless tyres, a product which appears to fulfil precisely what you'd expect, at a lower weight, yet similar price to the aluminium competition (£22.95 per pair). it strikes me that the bulk of purchasers will be just like either you or i; recreational cyclists with aspirations above our station, for whom the promise of a few grammes of rotating weight reduction would achieve precisely nothing whatsoever. while absolute black are quoting weights of around two grammes less than their peers, is there anyone alive today who could detect the difference? manufactured from a carbon reinforced polymer, while they resemble a standard presta valve, absolute black has adopted 'a bottom-sealing mechanism, inspired by early valve concepts dating back to 1915, where the sealing interface sits at the base rather than the top.'

i am not a fan of tubeless tyres, a club in which i am joined by many others, but i'm readily willing to admit that none of the problems i have experienced with the tubeless system have involved the valves. and though this rests entirely on yours truly, i have been unable to figure out how it's possible to fill the tyre with gloop with the valves in situ (though i have every confidence that's my problem and not one experienced by absolute black).

try as i might, i can see no point whatsoever in this particular product; as mentioned above, i have experienced no valve problems whatsoever during my limited experience of tubeless setups. and anyone who thinks that two grammes less of rotating weight is likely to make any difference whatsoever is definitely a flying buttress short of a cathedral.

cycling is a wonderful activity or sport; stuff like this seems completely pointless, the sole saving grace of which is its comparable pricing.

tuesday 19 may 2026