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gone

for the first time in several years, i am going to take a holiday, beginning tomorrow. which, of course, means no posts for the next week. hopefully, i will return full of velocipedinal vigour, ready to bore you all to tears across the next twelve months with my own particular take on matters arising.

enjoy the peace and quiet.

thursday 1 october 2026

caveat emptor

i originally had opted not to follow this through, convinced that the mail order company mentioned but a few days ago, would eventually wake up, smell the coffee and do the decent thing. unfortunately, none of these instances have taken place, so in order to prevent anyone else suffering the same sense of frustration, as a last resort, i have decided to be a tad more forthright.

at the risk of treading previously purposed ground, while on a sunday bike ride early last month, my drive-side pedal developed in intermittent, but perfectly audible squeak. since the pedals are hardly in the first flush of youth, i decided that discretion was the better part of valour, and chose to replace them. this i did via the online retailer (islay has no local bike shop) bikeinn.co.uk, a web address that i'm sure you'll agree, gives the appearance of being british in origin. unfortunately, that may have been my first mistake, one that i only discovered when following the tracking link provided to accompany the journey my pedals took not to arrive.

as part of a larger concern named tradeinn and incorporating several other inns, it transpires that my purported velocipedinal benefactor is based in girona, spain near the costa brava, north-east of barcelona. the pedals were ordered on sunday 6 september, were flown from spain to the netherlands, before landing at heathrow on tuesday 8 september. according to the second of two links (the first one still shows the pedals to be resident in the royal mail depot in greenford, north london), the following day, the pedals arrived in glasgow, and tracking tells me that they had been forwarded to my local delivery depot, which i am assuming means the sorting office in port ellen, islay.

royal mail tracking did indicate, however, that within the uk, the package was travelling 48 hour tracked; according to the information attached to that fact, i should allow three working days for the parcel to arrive. however, this being the hebrides, history tells me that i'd be better to allow five. that being the case, i expected to receive my new pedals on 14 september. however, it is now 1 october, and there's no sign of the package.

i first contacted the seller on tuesday 22 september, the first of four attempts to have them admit that the package has probably disappeared into thin air, and offer a refund. but on each occasion, despite providing tradeinn with the same information with which i have just bored you, i receive exactly the same response. to wit:

"Thank you for contacting us.
Your parcel is currently on its way and it is due to be delivered to you very soon.
In order to track your parcel please use the following information:
- Parcel number: ********* - Tracking: https://www.royalmail.com/track-your-item#/tracking-results/*********
If the tracking is not updated, please use the following one: https://www.mailingtechnology.com/tracking/?tn=*********
If your order has just been shipped, please allow at least 24 to 48 hours before tracking becomes available.
Please note that current circumstances may cause delays in transit. New border controls, reduced air freight capacity in the market, and local protective regularions (sic) and quarantine measures may all impact service.
You can contact them using the following link: https://personal.help.royalmail.com/
In case you have received your package and wish to return an item, you must log into your account and start the return process."

i'm sure i need not point out the fallacy of the advice to contact royal mail, which explicitly states at the link provided, that royal mail will not deal with the recipient, only the sender. i did, however, emphatically point that out to tradeinn, but it was conveniently ignored prior to sending me yet another instance of the above.

there is modicum of irony involved in all this, as, on 26 september, tradeinn contacted me to ask, "have we offered you the best service?". despite telling them it was the worst customer service i have ever experienced and that i will never again, purchase any items from tradeinn/bikeinn, absolutely nothing happened. so, as a last resort, i resorted to the paypal resolution department. apparently, if i do not receive satisfaction within 14 days, i can raise this to a claim. as a result of paypal's intervention on my behalf, on 28 september, i received a communication from girona, enquiring if i had checked with my local delivery depot?

having already done so to no avail, does it not seem odd to tradeinn that the parcel allegedly arrived at the local delivery department on 9 or 10 september, over 20 days ago, yet hasn't been delivered, particularly in light of the fact that the package was sent 48 hour tracked? i'm afraid i have given up all hope of receiving the pedals, and mentally written off the £45.98 i paid them on 6 september.

obviously, your mileage may vary, if you have already or previously ordered from bikeinn.co.uk, but personally, i would advise you go elsewhere.

thursday 1 october 2026

but does it?

canada's secretary of state for sport, adam van koeverden issued a statement on monday of this week concerning last week's world road race championships, that said, "an estimated 500,000 fans lined the courses and 200 million viewers around the world watched canada shine. with a $13-million federal investment, this flagship event delivered economic and tourism benefits for quebec, montréal, and canada as a whole." it's probably a tad too early to look at quantifying any direct commercial benefits, but if koeverden's crowd figures are in any way accurate, let's suppose that each and every one of those lining the roadsides spent just $100 each, that's total spend of $50 million to set against the aforementioned investment, which probably justifies the entire week of events alone.

he then goes on to undermine the statement just a tad by saying, "montréal 2026 showed once again that canada is the best sport-hosting nation in the world." that leans rather heavily on the subjective, and i'm sure donald trump would have an answer to that.

due to the jura music festival always landing on the sunday of each year's world road race championships, i am not in the habit of sitting in front of the tellybox for over five hours watching the elite men's event, but as far back as my memory is able to travel these days, sunday's event was certainly the best i have witnessed for many a long year. in mitigation, however, aside from roadside fans standing more than ten deep in places, the bulk of the interest and excitement arose from the racing itself and the fact that the 2026 winner of the rainbow stripes was completely unexpected (by me at least).

it will be interesting to watch the script in the 2027 season, when mcnulty, clad in those multi-coloured stripes, has to act as domestique to his slovenian team leader. and while we're on the particular subject of tadej pogacar, at the risk of being shot down in flames, i can't help thinking that the race and its unexpected outcome was all the better for pogacar being absent from the peloton. it was educational to realise just how equal were the riders, and how the three top favourites struggled to fulfil their hoped-for potential, (though brownie points to mvdp for taking third).

though of little real consequence, what might have been the most memorable part of the day's proceedings was thibau nys' utterly perfect bike change, which has already garnered over 8,000 views on youtube alone. probably the only rider, apart from mathieu and wout, who could have pulled that off.

canada's ctv news has already posted a short video on youtube, highlighting the organisers' praise for the success of the uci montréal road world championships. the owner of the city's cycles gervais rioux claims that, while he didn't actually sell any bicycles during the week, he did sell quite an amount of accessories, and had to hire more staff. he signed off his interview by saying, despite not having sold any bicycles, he thinks locals will have enjoyed the event perhaps deciding, "it looks fun; i'm going to start to ride my bike." but surely the $64,000 question is, "how accurate is that statement?"

with luck, a following wind and the co-operation of at least two calmac ferries, i expect to travel to glasgow in mid-december to attend a round of the uci cyclocross world series held in kelvingrove park. despite having been an avid follower of cyclocross for quite a number of years, i have never had the good fortune to attend one of the european events in person. the fact that one is going to take place almost on my doorstep (give or take a ferry boat or two and 125 miles in each direction), is something of a revelation, but i have a feeling that attendees are likely already to be converts. granted, unlike the montréal road race, there is an entry fee for kelvingrove's 'cross race, so i daresay it is possible that a percentage of those at the roadside might end up being well disposed towards velocipedinal nirvana.

but might they reconsider on discovering that riding 273 kilometres in one day is very much a bridge too far? and that's always supposing that they're not put off completely by the price of admission. it's all very well you and i being aware that we're never going to reach such speeds or daily distances, and that we need not spend upwards of £10,000 to access the promised land, but i can already hear the conversation when an impressed newbie enters the front door of cycles gervais rioux and asks for "a bike just like brendan's", and the rapha team kit to go with it.

the race was brilliant, the organisation appears to have been likewise, but i'm a bit unsure why such events have to be justified in either financial or social terms. do you think the government of azerbaijan did likewise following sunday's formula one circus?

i seriously doubt it.

wednesday 30 september 2026

subjugated

on the final weekend of september each year, the neighbouring island of jura holds a music festival, beginning on friday evening and stretching across to sunday, ending with a late-night ceilidh. this year's event suffered slightly from a reduced attendance, predominantly at the behest of the removal of the bookable-in-advance late sailing at 9:30pm. the council run ferry-service has suffered from crew shortages, which, in turn have caused this particular curtailment.

my particular place in this annual firmament is as either bass drummer or (this year) snare drummer in the community pipe band. we traditionally arrive just ahead of mid-day to lead the church congregation in a parade back into the village centre, ending in front of the distillery. having arrived, we form an ever-decreasing circle to play a short set of tunes less applicable to the cultivated art of marching. in previous years we have been assisted by a larg(ish) samba band from edinburgh, which, for economic reasons this year, did not appear, making it a less sonorous and frivolously musical affair.

disappointingly, the weather failed to join in the merry-making, and despite celebrating our final public outing this year by wearing formal shirts, ties and waistcoats along with kilts, the assembled - yet bedraggled - multitudes saw none of it, hidden as it was, under collar to ankle waterproof capes.

having acquitted ourselves favourably, we grabbed a welcome lunch (i can highly recommend the foccacia sandwiches in the antlers restaurant opposite the village hall in craighouse), before departing for the afternoon ferry back to islay. unlike previous years, the absence of a need to play once more during the afternoon, meant that i arrived home with still 235km of the world championship road race from montreal, broadcast live in its entirety by the bbc on iplayer. for those who missed it, i'd suggest you take a look; one of the finest bike races i've been fortunate enough to witness, and effectively justifying the annual fee demanded for the tv licence.

it will hardly come as news to learn that, as an international event featuring the very best cyclists in the world, the carbon fibre on display was ultimately state-of-the-art. and even if you do not have the time or inclination to watch several hours of cycle racing, you really ought to search out the short youtube video of thibau nys' mid-race bike change. if nothing else, it clearly demonstrates the difference between them and us. however, state-of-the-art carbon is not necessarily the be all and end all of the velocipedinal realm. the bicycle is nothing if not versatile, fulfilling all manner of purposes for many different people, and unlike you and i, not all of those people see the bicycle as the hub of their universe.

i am currently reading a book describing a lengthy bike ride by a married couple, taking them through some of the most historically significant, yet politically and religiously divisive countries of central asia. though you might consider that i do so towards a future review in thewashingmachinepost (true enough), the principal reason for so doing is resolved by the simple statement that i was invited to read by the creative director of the islay book festival.

as is common with the majority of book festivals, the task of a committee of indeterminate size is to choose writers they hope will provide entertaining interviews for a potential audience, many of whom will be ill-informed regarding the subject of their writings, but who will bring their publications to life in discussion with a similarly entertaining interviewer. i was asked to read the book and make recommendation as to whether the author ought to be included in next year's panel of authors.

the book is particularly well-written, compulsive, entertaining and informative; i have given my recommendation in the affirmative, going so far as to offer my services as interlocutor (though i realise that, in so doing, i may have undermined the intrinsic meaning of the word entertaining).

however, one of the best means of assessing the veracity of a book about cycle-touring, is how frequently, if at all, the bicycle takes centre stage. does the author outline at any point, the marque, groupset, tyres, number and make of panners? though it's not quite a black and white situation, in the main, the more time spent on detailing or mentioning the bicycles, the less of a travel book it may turn out to be. in this particular instance, i have not the faintest idea about any of the above, making it one of the best cycle-touring travel books i have read.

to countermand lord voldemort 'it's not always about the bike.'

tuesday 29 september 2026

missing in action

on arrival at debbie's at lunchtime on saturday, i was confronted a by a large gaggle of people huddled round the serving counter, awaiting their coffee and food orders to go. that many were dressed in white, with tell tale belts visible 'neath their outerwear offered a healthy clue as to what was taking place at bruichladdich hall, but a few hundred footsteps from the café. it is far more economic to invite karate accreditors to the island than it is for members of the local club to travel to scotland. put two and two together, and apparently grading exams were taking place in the hall.

when occasionally asked why i find it necessary to wear polyester/sportwool jerseys and lycra bibshorts just to go cycling, i have long been in the habit of offering a cryptic reply, asking whether my inquisitor would choose to swim in a pair of levis 401 denims? the short answer would be to point out that the majority of us do so for reasons of comfort, but since the question seems predominantly to be accusatory, a cryptic response, for me at least, is more satisfactory.

the majority of sports have a dress-code of some sort or other; you need only look at football, rugby, formula one, and as not mentioned above, swimming. dressing appropriately for whichever of the above (or others), in which you may participate, is a no brainer. after all, to briefly return to bruichladdich hall, as outlined in my opening paragraph, those for whom karate is a favoured activity, it is seemly to wear the designated white, loose-fitting suit.

with the possible exception of football/soccer, rare it is to find specific sportswear as acceptable day-wear. such is the social reach of football, finding fellow shoppers in the local averagemarket, or even local contractors clad in a coloured jersey featuring advertising for a betting agency, drinks purveyor or international airline emblazoned on the front, is a notably unremarkable state of affairs. and, with the common habit of printing either a footballer's surname, or, indeed, the wearer's across the shoulders, confusion reigns. more likely to be brought to society's attention, would be the wearing of a cycle jersey, or more eccentrically, flame proof motor-racing overalls.

historically, cycle clothing has been worn simply as a means to an end; pragmatism in action. but in 2004, simon mottram attempted to disrupt that particular apple cart with the marketing of rapha clothing as almost a lifestyle choice, aided and abetted by a specificity that showed this new kid on the velocipedinal apparel block to have our best interests at heart. pinned to the wall of pain adjacent to his desk in the original kentish town, imperial works, were early marketing mock-ups, to wit: 'it's good that you're used to pain and suffering. now, about our prices.'

the original adherence to black, white and pink (and not an insipid shade of that particular colour) created a hitherto unseen - at least not since the 40s and 50s - style of cycle clothing. fastidiously sticking to this basic colour palette for several years, including the clothing for the men in black, the rapha/condor uk cycle team, was partly simon's reaction to the predominantly multi-colour garb of the 90s, but also a successful attempt to define the brand within the velocipedinal psyche. that his strategy worked could be seen from the number of cyclist complaining about rapha's high prices. let's face it; wearing rapha was hardly compulsory, so any complaints about price must surely have arisen from those keen to dress accordingly, but without the financial wherewithal to achieve it.

originally, the rapha condor team wore black sportwool jerseys with screen-printed logos, a solution that ultimately had to be replaced by dye-sublimated polyester when it became obvious that continually changing logos and sponsors made screen-printed sportwool unwieldy, impractical and probably uneconomic. the paradigm more or less fell apart when rapha opted to sponsor team sky in 2013, demonstrated by sending members of the cycling media personalised dye-subbed team sky jerseys. i recall contacting then marketing director, slate olson, to point out that rapha's website was populated by a plethora of sky logos, yet sky's website reciprocated not at all.

with the advent of the pro-team range, rapha went all-in with cutting edge advances in race technology, in effect losing the emphasis on cycling's rich heritage and arguably losing not only what they originally had, but many of those who had found favour with the era of pain and suffering. the sideways move into offroad clothing after the business was sold off to steuart and tom walton was possibly not the best look for a brand which had dedicated itself to making road cycling the most popular sport in the world.

mottram's decision to stand down as ceo and the boardroom farce that followed, to all intent and purpose, including the recent decision of fran millar - ironically former ceo of team sky - to leave rapha after only 18 months, signalled that rapha has officially lost its way (and any thoughts of profit).

fran millar was brought on board to try and revive rapha's fortunes, indicating at the time, that she hoped to return rapha to its roots. it looks as if that strategy has failed miserably, for whatever reason. with an honours degree in hindsight, rapha probably ought not to have divested itself of the pain and suffering meme. of the sixty (!) jerseys currently populating the men's section, not one is described as a classic jersey, the sportwool version that began the story in 2004. nor is it listed under collections in the top level menu. to access those, you'll have to search for 'classic', always assuming you've been around long enough to remember those halcyon days.

not only is that sad, but, in my humble opinion, explains a lot.

monday 28 september 2026

relevancy

as recently mentioned in these very pixels, each week, there is a fresh copy of the comic waiting patiently at debbie's for the cognoscenti to peruse while supping froth. one of the principal features of each issue is the bicycle review, though i do wish someone would display a modicum of ingenuity and photograph the bicycle from an alternative angle. it seems that every week we are presented with the same view taken from the rear, non-drive side, no matteer the brand on show. however, though there were no back copies lying around to verify my observation, it seems like quite some time since the magazine reviewed a pure road bike, rather than something from the gravel cupboard, or one of those all-road bicycles that have become particularly fashionable.

of course, there could be any number of reasons for this: it may be that bicycle manufacturers have reduced the frequency of new road-only models, or it could be simply the result of the comic maintaining relevancy to the current demand, perhaps not entirely cognisant of the fact that they, and other media outlets might have brought about that particular demand in the first place. either way, gravel and all-road seem to be the favoured items on the menu these days, and it's hard to argue with the quest for relevancy when print sales are quite so fragile.

in november this year, it will be twelve months since my ritchey logic saw the great outdoors, having favoured my specialized cyclocross bike ever since. granted, the ritchey is in need of a new campagnolo rear derailleur, and the underside of the downtube is hardly in pristine ferrous condition, but neither circumstance would have prevented my riding the road bike had the need or desire arisen in the meantime. i cannot deny that part of the equation has been brought about by the improved comfort available at the behest of 33mm rubber, as opposed to the 28mm on the ritchey, but allied to the fact that islay's roads are a far cry from being compared to a billiard table has substantially reduced my demand for one of the finest steel road-bike frames on the market.

and just as i broach the subject of road bike releases from the industry at large, tom ritchey has seen fit to offer the tom ritchey signature edition in a rather fetching shade of red, augmented by the great man's actual signature on the top tube of each model. however, despite this particular model having been absent from the ritchey catalogue for an appreciable length of time, it's not its reappearance that is particularly noteworthy, but that, in 2026, bringing a rim-brake road bike to market can either be seen as a daring move, or a failure to understand current trends.

personally, i am 100% behind this decision, despite the wall-to-wall disc-brake models to be seen in a bike shop near you. colnago did originally make available a limited number of rim-brake c68 carbon framesets, but a recent scan of colnago's website did not show that particular model as being still available. i'm sure there are one or two manufacturers who still offer rim-brake road bikes, whether carbon or steel, but there's no doubt that it's a diminishing market, particularly when you consider that, with the exception of campagnolo (who still offer rim-brake versions of their super-record and chorus groupsets), their two main competitors no longer feature rim-brakes at the luxury end of their catalogue.

it is also notable that the incessant quest for cable integration, reputedly in the search for improved aerodynamics, but very much as the expense of practicality, has many a modern frame suitable only for an electronic groupset. to the best of my knowledge, no-one makes an electronic groupset incorporating rim-brake calipers. thankfully, tom ritchey seems more than happy not to follow the herd; the ritchey logic signature version still sports external cable routing, which makes the bicycle far easier and quicker to maintain than those with brake hoses stuffed inside the head tube.

professional riders will ride with whatever they are provided, and whoever wins this weekend's rainbow stripes would be unlikely to have come second had their brake hoses been exposed to the wind. in a velocipedinal world seen to favour the professionals very much at the expense of you and i, integrated cables and hoses might be aesthetically pleasing, but let's face it; they make no difference whatsoever as to how quickly you might reach the coffee stop.

if tom ritchey didn't exist, we'd have to invent him.

sunday 27 september 2026

what's the difference?

deadlines are deadlines, are deadlines. for some folks, it seems that they are but a smudge on an ill-defined timeline; sure, it's something to aim for, but only circumspectively. if you miss it, there's always a bit of play built-in. thus has become a repeating pattern of my friday afternoons, a time of week that, for some at least, i was moved to define as a deadline for articles. though the print run (of islay's community newspaper) does not need to commence until tuesday pm, if everything were to arrive at the publicised last gasp of tuesday lunchtime, there would be scant opportunity to make everything ready for the printer in time. and while others seem more than content to ignore my deadlines, i have a schedule of publication deadlines that i ignore at my peril.

this has entailed a lengthy run of having reserved space for the submissions i am expecting to expect by friday afternoon, only to be let down once again. on friday past, i even had the temerity to pop down to the celtic house café for a quick ristretto in the vain hope that my e-mail inbox would accumulate during my absence, only to be sorely disappointed that not a single electronic missive had arrived during the time away from my desk. so i did the only thing that any self-respecting editor would do, and went home.

currently, on youtube there is a short video during which the mastering engineer, kevin reeves, details the work undertaken to release the long-awaited tiberi tapes, 1960s recordings of john coltrane arguably at his peak, made by saxophone teacher and coltrane acolyte, frank tiberi. these were captured in clandestine fashion on a small, portable reel-to-reel tape recorder with a single microphone, often from a table near the stage in various new york venues. the recorder was battery powered, and, in order to gain maximum bang for buck, tiberi ran the tape at its slowest speed, allowing 25 minutes recording, before turning the tape over and doing likewise on the 'other side'.

there's no denying the considerable background noise, consisting of conversations, clinking of glasses and the like, not to mention audio noise due to the low resolution recording. reeves, in the interview, recounts how he spent more than a year cleaning-up these recordings to give the music a clarity for the modern ears of the many coltrane fans around the world. he then proceeds to show the minute size of those reel-to-reel tapes and the manner in which frank tiberi had annotated the boxes in which they were stored.

i possess a record shop day exclusive vinyl trailer of the upcoming release, which consists of a boxed set of four vinyl albums from impulse records and due for release in november this year. i fully intend to acquire just such a set when available. there's little doubt that the recording i currently own is a long way from high fidelity, but in truth, if that's what you're looking for, i fear you might be missing the point. so expectant are we of pristine, multi-track engineered recordings, that it often seems we are in danger of mistaking the pointing finger for that of the moon (to paraphrase a well-known buddhist epithet).

and, though strenuously trying to avoid this coming across as a sunday-morning sermon, there is, i believe, a case for viewing the output of the bicycle industry in similar light.

for many a long year, debbie's has supplied a weekly copy of the comic for the cognoscenti to devour while negotiating double-egg rolls and supping froth. and a regular feature within said publication is that of the bike review, the price tags on which seemingly to increase week by week. were a new velocipedinal acolyte to find themselves in possession of said publication, i often find myself concerned that price tags of several thousand pounds may scare them off, where they might adopt an alternative hobby such as golf, snooker or marathon running. one can only imagine the result were such a happenstance to have occured in the lives of a young tadej pogacar, wout van aert or mathieu van der poel.

if i may indulge in tentative comparison, bicycles riding on 23 or 25mm rubber, featuring rim brakes and mechanical gear shifting are no less fun to ride than the current state of the art; owning an s-works tarmac, trek madone, or cervelo s5, in the hands of the amateur, has far more to do with disposable income and grandiose posturing than any definable need. just like multi-track recording as opposed to a single microphone carefully concealed from the performing artist. the joy of listening to frank tiberi's tapes is in the music; the joy of riding a non-carbon, rim-braked mechanical bicycle is scarcely different from state-of-the-art.

you're welcome.

saturday 26 september 2026

location, location, location

(apologies for being awol over the past two days. the best laid plans, etc.)

a few weekends past, my bicycle developed an intermittent squeak that i initially thought emanated from the bicycle of my cycling colleague. only as time progressed and he disappeared into the distance, did it dawn on me that the squeak was all mine. the irritating noise was ultimately traced to the leftmost pedal; even more specifically, the inner bearing, the seal of which scarcely bore close examination. though the manufacturer of the pedal offers an appropriate 'rebuild' kit, from previous experience, employing such a remedy is likely only to forestall the inevitable.

so, i took the only opportune option available, and ordered a new set from bikeinn.co.uk.

that was on 6 september.

according to the royal mail tracking attached to the package, it was sent 48 hours tracked, the page for which showed it having originated in girona, spain, despite the apparent pretence that i had ordered from a british online retailer. from girona, the pedals were flown to the netherlands before being forwarded, by air, to london, where tracking showed them having arrived at royal mail's greenford depot, a few miles from central london, on 8 september. disappointingly, royal mail tracking showed the package still to be in greenford on monday 21 september, which, i'm sure you'll agree, is a bit longer than the 48 hour period reputedly guaranteed by the postal service.

somewhat concerned that i would never see these pedals, i contacted bikeinn via their online chat service (though i'll admit that the word service seems to mean something different to bikeinn than it does to me). after one or two do not reply e-mails, the sum total of their assistance was that the package would be delivered soon, and that i should check the tracking link i already possessed. that selfsame advice was reiterated next day, but the package stubbornly remained (apparently) in greenford.

however, when i asked whether the fact that it had taken two weeks not to be delivered was not of concern to bikeinn, they supplied a different link that showed the package to have left greenford late on 8 september, having arrived in glasgow on 9 september and reputedly having been forwarded to the local delivery office. i am assuming that to be the royal mail sorting office in port ellen, islay, where staffing problems have meant that islay's mail service has been recently unfavourably compared to a fireguard made of chocolate.

at the time of writing, it is the evening of thursday 24 september; there is still no sign of the pedals, and it would appear that, now that bikeinn has my money, they really couldn't care less whether my pedals arrive or not.

i'm sure many will be itching to send me an e-mail, describing the impeccable service they have received from bikeinn across several orders, and i have no doubt that, in the majority of cases, that is very much the case. however, i detail the trials and tribulations here, not to disparage bikeinn (though there's little doubt that their so-called customer service could do with a stern talking-to), but to encourage you to shop at your local bike shop wherever possible.

yes indeed, online retailers can invariably undercut the price tickets on show at your nearest independent bike shop, but my point is that, were islay to have a local bike shop, i would currently be riding around on a brand new set of pedals, instead of constantly checking a tracking link and growing ever more frustrated that bikeinn is being considerably less than helpful. hundreds, if not thousands of local bricks and mortar bike shops have closed the shutters because too many people switched to online purchases. but at the risk of repeating a well-worn cliché, the internet won't fix your bike. you might pay a few more pounds, but that modest level of currency could be the difference between a warm welcome and a locked door.

obviously enough, and islay is a perfect example, there are locales without a high street bike shop, even more so in recent years, where indigenous cyclists have no alternative but to order online. well do i know that to my cost. personally i would trade those extra few pounds for a same day service in a heartbeat.

friday 25 september 2026

displacement theory

opinions are like brains; everybody has one (though i can think of one or two individuals who might undermine my supercilious comparison). and in the main, i think it similar to the definition of a gentleman - someone who can play the bagpipes, but chooses not to. in other words, if you do indeed harbour an opinion on any particular subject, you're probably best to keep it to yourself. having said that, today's monologue ignores that advice completely, because uncharacteristically, i thought i'd weigh in on a recent development pertaining to cycle training.

and, as if to prove that i'm really not qualified to make any comment whatsoever, a bit of background. though i did successfully pass my cycling proficiency exam (such as it was), i didn't actually learn to ride a bicycle until i was nine years old. compare that with my grand-daughter, who was confidently riding her mountain bike along the beach on the big strand when only four years old. and in fear of falling off and landing on hard tarmac, i borrowed a small bicycle from a neighbourhood friend and suffered the falling-off procedure on the grass in my parents' back garden. add to that fact the truth that i now live on an island of only 3,000 people, and a network of lightly trafficked often remote, single track roads, it seems a bit rich that i would make comment on learning to ride in in the hell that is city and urban conurbations.

many years ago, i undertook training that allegedly qualified me as a cycle guide, able to lead the great unwashed along risk-assesed routes. while part of the course to which i refer was held in a room in the local leisure centre, the bulk of the learning took place out of doors on bowmore main street, with several other learners. i should perhaps point out that all of us were already confident cyclists, and whom would have been perfectly at home guiding anyone you care to mention, along any route you care to designate, whether risk-assessed or otherwise. i need not make mention of the circumstances which brought us all to become born-again learners, but suffice it to say, i'm still waiting for the certificate almost two decades later.

but in those past twenty years, traffic on britain's roads, including those in the hebrides, has grown seemingly exponentially. there is little doubt that today's newbie or returning cyclist, is faced with a great deal more dangers than was the case even at the turn of the century. but the cost of motoring and, if you don't live in scotland, public transport, has conspired to make cycle commuting a more attractive and economic prospect, allegedly leading to an increasing number of folks who desire to become confident cyclists and take to the highways and byways of their immediate locale.

the cycling proficiency scheme, as was, no longer exists. none of islay's schools teach the ability to cycle, ever since the council abolished the road safety department in a round of cost-cutting measures. today, we are presented with bikeability, similar to cycling proficiency, but a scheme that us old-timers would claim to be less effective. and with no triangular enamel badge for successful completion. but in a recent move that mirrors the fad for indoor, online cycling, the bikeability scheme has introduced cyclein, an online course lasting between 90 and 120 minutes and consisting of '15 short modules'. in my heavily prejuduced opinion, this seems akin to the seriously misplaced notion and oxymoron: online gravel riding.

mrs washingmachinepost can ride a bicycle, but chooses not to, entirely on the basis that she is not at all confident in traffic, something, i'm sure we'd all agree, could only be satisfactorily overcome by physical immersion in real traffic conditions. after all, how can she become more confident when an actual car passes within centimetres of her actual elbows, unless that actually happens on an actual basis? yet cyclein claims that sitting in front of a computer will "build practical confidence for everyday journeys." and while theory can often complement practice, "sharing space with others and understanding how to cycle considerately around pedestrians, drivers and other riders.", does not seem like the sort of two-dimensional learning that can simulate a three-dimensional experience via a series of coloured pixels. after all, i can watch every buddy rich video on youtube, but i guarantee i'll be no nearer being able to play like him at the end.

of course, just like my guided cycle leading, there is a downloadable certificate on successful completion, a certificate that is very unlikely to be worth the paper on which it is printed. for starters, who are you going to show it to that would give a toss? the fact that cyclein exists and can be accessed online, is no guarantee of its efficacy. i'd imagine that the process has been dutifully tested and verified, but under the heading theme four, can anyone comprehend how an online course will "build confidence in more advanced situations such as busier roads, roundabouts and filtering and overtaking."

nope. me neither.

cyclein

tuesday 22 september 2026