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bespoke: a guide to cycle-speak & saddle slang. tom bromley. british library hardback 192pp illus. £12.99

bespoke - tom bromley

those of you who are bona-fide graphic designers will laugh when i mention it, but a couple of years ago, i was asked to design a series of product labels featuring a rounded section on the top. this can only be achieved by having the item die-cut from the printed sheet, but with no experience of this process, i had no idea how to proceed. how was the shape of the die to be specified? and how would i define the bleed-edge? other than the graphic designers in our midst, i'm pretty sure that latter definition will have lost the majority of readers.

the bleed is usually a 3mm extension to the page, and allows for printing that has need of existing right up to the very edge of the paper. crop marks are applied at the time of output, indicating to the printer where the paper ought to be cut. but should the cutting process be off by as little as one millimetre, the final print would display a thin white section of paper. so any artwork that needs to bleed off the edge of the final print, is extended by 3mm on each side. if the cropping process is in any way inaccurate, there will still be imagery to the edge of the sheet.

that's easy for me to say.

however, if there's any variation to the rectangular or squareness of the artwork, the house of cards falls in on itself. i'll not trouble you by outlining how one goes about incorporating a non-standard die-cut into the artwork, but suffice it to say it involves pantone spot colours and layered pdf files.

have no fear if none of the above makes any sense whatsoever; it only matters that those of us who are required to create what used to be called camera-ready-artwork understand it. because at some point in time, a graphic designer is going to have to speak to their offset printer, and it makes a great deal of sense that we both speak the same language.

cycling is no different in its own way. if one of the guys in the peloton remarks that you're pedalling at too high a cadence, it certainly helps if you know what he means. not to do so simply compounds the problem in that your non-standard cadence was strike number one; incomprehension of the subsequent remark relating to that pedalling error would certainly be counted as strike two. if subsequent pelotonic conversations involve mention of the cannibal, being unaware that one's conversants are referring to eddy merckx is unlikely to mark you out as a member of the cognoscenti. the potential for such breakdowns in communication is the raison d'etre behind tom bromley's bespoke, a compact and bijou hardback that likely contains references that even the best of us might find new and/or interesting.

for instance, were you aware of the various linguistic references made to the pursuers of the breakaway? for many is the commentator who delights in broadcasting their own knowledge of such. (unfortunately, the flemish - achtervolgers - is mis-spelt here as achtevolgers). and if eddy was the cannibal, who was the heron? mr bromley has thoughtfully separated his excellent advice and assistance into thematic chapters: the race, the riders, parcours (probably in need of an explanation of its own), nicknames - i'm sure you get the idea. it may be worth the while of club secretaries to include a copy of bespoke in the membership fee.

self-interest very much to the fore, i was intrigued to read the section on wind, included in the roadbook chapter. you'd almost think that tour of romandy victor, geraint thomas, had ridden with us on the sunday ride.

"Wind is sly. It pretends it's not there, and then you turn a corner or pedal past a building and - slap! It blows the race and all your careful plans apart."

and bespoked is not all unadorned text. the illustrations by neil stevens are almost worth the price of admission alone. colourful, idosyncratic and perfectly matched to the subject matter, the british library should seriously consider issuing at least a few of these as framed posters. add a few historic photographs into the mix, and it's hard to think of even a single reason not to acquire a copy of the book. serious study will ultimately mark you out as a knowledgeable member of the sunday peloton, one whom others approach for intelligent conversation or answers to deficiencies in their own cycle-sport knowledge.

monday 3 may 2021

twmp ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................