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cycling climbs of north-west england. a road cyclist's guide. simon warren. frances lincoln paperback. 174pp illus. £8.99

cycling climbs of north-west england - simon warren

the bbc, in 1965, brought to uk televisions screens, a quiz programme entitled call my bluff, originally hosted by robin ray but succeeded by robert robinson two years later. two teams of three personalities were presented with three possible definitions for an obscure word, only one of which was true. each member of one team had to convincingly persuade or 'bluff' the members of the opposing team that their own definition was the correct one. points were accumulated by identifying which were fictitious and discarding those in favour of the third.

words that featured in those early programmes included queach, strongle, ablewhacket, hickboo and several other unlikely candidates. offhand, i can think of one or two words from the velocipedinal milieu that could possibly have contributed to any one of the numerous broadcast series (the last finished in july of 2005, though there was a comic relief special in 2011), but oddly enough, it is mountain biking that has provided me with a potential bluff to present to you here.

dowgang hush.

in downhill mountain biking, it is necessary to prevent the chain from unshipping mid-berm, a situation that would lead to a distinct lack of acceleration when next came time to pedal. this is accomplished by a small device that clamps the right-hand chainstay and presses a rubberised bearing roller against the lower section of chain, keeping it appropriately tensioned and lessening the rattle a flapping chain tends to create (hence the 'hush' part of the name).

or, it could be a medium-sized watering hole in the karroun hill nature reserve in western australia, some 350 kilometres north-east of perth. in reality, it's a small offshoot of lake moore, itself adjacent to a couple of other call my bluff candidates named mouroubra and bimbijy. as animals and the occasional traveller head eastwards, dowgang hush is pretty much the last source of water en-route to the larger mount manning range nature reserve.

or might it be the 7/10 climb featured on page 21 of the irrepressible simon warren's latest and final (as if any of us believe that) road climbs of the united kingdom: cycling climbs of north-west england? sited just off the a689 south of nenthall and extending to just less than 1.5 kilometres, dowgang hush contrasts 20% slopes with the road becoming almost flat in places. if attempting the hill, simon figures you should allow around ten minutes from bottom to top.

the choice of the correct answer is entirely of your choosing. should you opt to acquire a copy of mr warren's latest book (soon to be released as part of a complete boxed set), you may well find amongst its contents, several other named climbs that lend themselves to further episodes of call my bluff. hills such as blea tarn, faulds brow, brigsteer brow and stone rigg outrake, for example.

mind you, all jesting aside, the thought of attempting hardknott pass, definitely the hardest climb featured in the book with its sections of up to 30%, doesn't sound that much like a joke. while i'm more than acquainted with the notion of suffering for my art, there's suffering and then there's suffering. simon warren deserves to find his name amongst those on the new year's honours list. as with all the previous editions of his climbing series, each is illustrated with photo and location map, accompanying a graphic description of the potential purgatory his readers may be inclined to follow.

i'd recommend that you purchase a copy of this very book along with the full boxed set, the latter for leaving prominently in the office or on the sideboard in the perhaps vain hope that visitors and business colleagues will be fooled by your faux grimpeurship.

unless of course, you're perfectly aware of the true meaning of dowgang hush and have climbed pretty much the entire contents of the series.

wednesday 6 september 2017