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gardening leave
the current spell of weather has provided challenges all of its own. it's not that sub-zero cold galeforce winds are anything new, but even after two score years and then some, advancing years have made it a smidgeon harder to pedal hard enough in order to keep warm. every time xcweather advises that snow is inbound on those winds, it transpires that a better description would be hailstones (and ruddy great big ones yesterday lunchtime). and even with a peaked winter cap under the helmet, those little white chunks feel like frozen shotblasts.
tough critters that we are, it wouldn't be the first time that old adage 'there's no such thing as bad weather, only poor choice of clothing' is rolled out in order to create an immeasurable degree of superiority over those who decided to spend a morning on the turbo trainer indoors. hopelessly optimistic would be the cyclist with only one weight of cycling apparel in the wardrobe. aside from commercial concerns, there's a reason why the major suppliers offer spring/summer and autumn/winter ranges; across most of europe, the seasonal variations would mitigate against owning only one.
in this respect, it has long been my contention that cycling must surely be one, if not the best catered for activity in the western world. aside from each extensive range advertised online and in the periodicals, there are one heck of a number of international apparel providers, with seemingly more joining the fray each month. let's face it; cycling may be our whole world, but as part of the grand enchilada, it is a very small niche in what i believe to be an expanding universe.
but the $64,000 question has me wondering whether we are alone in our extravagant demands and welcome largesse. are the world's other activities as well provided for? is the sport of golf lacking any shockingly bright goretex plaid trousers or windproof pringle sweaters? are runners simply hardier and less complaining than the ordinary member of the pelotonese, quite happy to chunter along in shorts and a fluorescent yellow jacket? could it be that scuba divers need only a wetsuit or drysuit accompanied by a standard issue face mask?
i honestly don't know. and perhaps i'm insufficiently intrigued to make further investigations. or at least that would have been the case had i not chanced upon genus, a company offering 'performance garden wear'. with no disrespect intended, i was more than surprised to discover that gardening had need of performance clothing in the first place. so, in the interests of placing our own velocipedinal activities in some sort of perspective, i asked genus founder, sue o'neil, in the words of paul carrack, how long has this been going on?
"We set up in business in July 2012, and started the design and development process. We made our first sale in September 2013."
it is the very nature of entrepreneurship to scour the commercial world for what the vernacular would describe as a gap in the market. and if the calling to be an entrepreneur holds an irresistible pull, it may only require an extra sliver of legwork to create a gap where a gap previously didn't exist. sometimes, however, the gap finds you. in the context of gardening, had sue always been a keen gardener, or was this an opportunity that simply presented itself?
"I was a frustrated balcony gardener living in London flats for over 30 years. Eventually I took the plunge and moved out to the Cotswolds, to a 250 year old house and over an acre of garden. The garden had been neglected and I spent three years full-time bringing it back to life. It was during that period, when I was out in the garden for hours at a time, that I realised there was nothing suitable to wear. So I thought I'd fill the gap."
my brother was (and still is) into soccer, though i believe he may have realised the limitations of his athletic prowess and ceased spending every weekend kicking a ball up and down a field with 21 other guys. however, in his heyday (probably his late teens), i recall the kitchen featuring at least two pairs of football boots encrusted with mud and stuffed with scrunched-up newspaper. the washing machine meanwhile was filled with shorts, socks and jerseys, apparel required for the kicking process described above.
rightly or wrongly, i've never considered football clothing to inhabit the performance arena. though modernity may have altered the perspective and reality, polyester jerseys and shorts do not suggest any unique performance qualities that might minimise the discomfort brought on by over-exertion. but similarly, if questioned under duress, i'd have to admit that i never thought there would be a need for something classed as 'performance gardening wear'. does this show my ignorance in such matters, or is this a genre invented by genus?
"Most gardeners wear old clothes, but that's simply because there hasn't been anything that's perfect for gardening. Gardening is a physical activity involving bending, kneeling, stretching, walking and wielding heavy tools, and you do it outside in all weathers, so it's very like many other outdoor 'sports'.
"To give you an example, if you wear jeans to garden and it's wet, the denim becomes heavy, holds the water and chafes your skin. Genus gardening trousers use lightweight, showerproof, stretch fabrics and incorporate damp-proof seat panels, so if you sit on something wet you don't get a soggy bottom. They also have integrated, breathable, adjustable and waterproof knee pads."
if i work diligently all week, and keep up to date with my workload, there is always the possibility that i can play hooky on friday afternoons when the weather's reasonable, and ride down to deb's for a coffee. should i find myself thus fortunate, the ride is predominantly about the coffee rather than the luxury of the ride, so i'm less than endeared to assume my secret identity by changing into jersey, bibshorts and softshell jacket. thus, i generally opt to ride the taurus corinto, a cycle that allows me to maintain a civilian predisposition.
it seems a lot of unnecessary faff to raid the cycling wardrobe for a few moments of froth supping. concomitantly, i find it hard to visualise anyone finding it desirable or necessary to nip up to the wardrobe and change into gardening specific clothing for a sunday afternoon's mowing or pruning. does that actually happen?
"If you were just popping down to the shops on your bike to get the newspaper you might not change into your bibshorts. But if you were going on a 100km ride you would certainly want to be kitted out properly. It's just the same with gardeners. Actually, it's pretty difficult to do gardening in ten minute slots; most gardeners will allocate at least half a day at any one time. So yes, they do put on their gardening clothes."
lately, saturday mornings have been cyclocross mornings. this is not to suggest that my hours thus spent are resulting in any improved ability in that discipline, but just that i rather enjoy throwing myself about the undergrowth prior to heading south for an egg buttie and the desirable froth. though bridgend woods has its attractions, one of them isn't really the amount of mud it can harbour in its nooks and crannies. i agree wholeheartedly with benedict campbell's entitling of his superb cyclocross movie 'for the love of mud', but i'd really rather it didn't adhere with such tenacity to some of my best cycling clobber.
that svelte red softshell, those thermal winter bibtights and ever-fragile polychromatic rudy projects lose a substantial percentage of their 'too cool for school' presence when doused with sticky mud. the same could often be said about gardening (so i'm told by mrs washingmachinepost; yours truly couldn't grow weeds). even a cursory glance over the genus range for both male and female would alert you to its inherent stylishness. i honestly found it hard to believe that gardening could harbour such quality of sartorial demeanour. isn't genus clothing simply too good to get mucky in the garden?
"Not at all. Genus Gardenwear is designed to get mucky. I've noticed that gardeners come in two types: kneelers and benders, although a few will do both. Personally, I'm a kneeler and I will kneel right on the soil. At the end of the gardening day, I throw my trousers into the washing machine and because they're so quick drying, they're ready to go back out in the garden with me in the morning."
we have a relatively long-ranging, not entirely innocent banter that rages between those of us with the total lack of restraint to refrain from riding out in weather conditions that would be better viewed from indoors in front of a warm fire, and those with more sense. it all comes down to those who walk the walk as opposed to those simply intent on talking the talk. if you see what i mean. though i'd hardly classify the mighty dave t, lord carlos and myself as athletes, we do have a greater degree of perseverance than those afflicted with affectations and turbo trainers.
it would be unreasonable to suppose that gardening is composed purely of perennial enthusiasts, those for whom gardening is the be all and end all. there must surely be those for whom gardening is simply a means to an end, something to be endured rather than welcomed with open arms. in an effort to discern the genus customer base, what would be the difference between someone who simply potters about in the garden, and a performance gardener (so to speak)?
"I wouldn't suggest to owners of small patio gardens that Genus Gardenwear is the absolute must-have kit. The Genus gardener spends a lot of time gardening, so they often have large gardens in the country which they look after themselves; Genus customers are garden designers, they have garden maintenance businesses, or they own plant nurseries.
"We have customers who are volunteers at National Trust gardens, employed gardeners at country house hotels, and lots of allotmenteers. And we sell all over the world, particularly to countries that have a strong gardening culture such as the United States, Western Europe and Australia and New Zealand."
so, if sue has made it a bit clearer as to the folks likely to purchase genus clothing, by what criteria would she judge an item of gardening clothing to inherit the mantle ascribed by the word 'performance'?
"Clothing for gardening has to have features and functionality that makes gardening more comfortable and enjoyable. So, for example, the Genus 3-Season Gardening Trousers for Women and the All-weather Gardening Trousers for Men have the fabric, kneepads and damp-proof seat panels that I mentioned earlier.
"They also have lots of pockets, in particular two stab-proof pockets on the thighs that can hold sharp tools. I work in the garden with a pair of secateurs in the right-hand pocket and a very sharp hori-hori knife in the left-hand pocket, I can bend, kneel, and move in all directions and still feel perfectly safe, while the tools are near to hand and I don't lose them.
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There is an ingenious mobile-phone pocket tucked into the small of the back, rather like cycling clothing I suppose. That way, the phone is accessible and totally protected if you're bending, kneeling or sitting. The other pockets are specially designed to take gardening paraphernalia such as string, seed packets and labels. The trousers have a raised back waistband so when you bend you don't get 'builders bum' and also press studs on the bottom of the trouser legs so you can cinch them to get into Wellington boots more easily."
i recall joining a twitter conversation last year that centred around whether it was socially acceptable to go shopping of a saturday morning dressed in a football jersey. the majority maintained that though commonplace, walking into debenhams dressed in a rangers or celtic top was hardly a demonstration of sartorial elegance. however, it appears it may be more tolerable or seen as less eccentric than wearing an endura movistar team jersey. quite why, i know not, though it may be due to football's impingement on seemingly every aspect of daily life, particularly when compared to the cycling milieu.
however, the genus range of garden clothing only subtly advertises its true purpose in life, featuring niceties that would likely only be apparent to a fellow gardener. it strikes me that the entire range would look every bit as good when worn in full public view as it would concealed behind hedgerows and fencing, or following a motor mower around a great expanse of grass. is that deliberate?
"Yes. Our challenge is to convince gardeners to chuck out their old clothes and wear Genus Performance Gardenwear. The more stylish we make our clothes the more persuasive they are. And we don't sacrifice any of the performance."
washingmachinepost croft is not possessed of acres of garden. that at the rear offers enough space to hang out the washing, while the front affords those children in the care of mrs washingmachinepost enough room to bounce on a trampoline, throw balls at a basketball hoop or kick a football. our most extensive garden-based expedition involved weatherproofing the garden fence during sunnier days last august. i don't mind offering the opinion that, had i come across genus at that point, i'd have leapt at the opportunity.
if the hebridean weather has proven intractable for potential cyclists, it would be true to say it is hardly making itself amenable to the gardening fraternity. but i'd be willing to suppose that amongst the greater peloton, there are those who will occupy at least a weekend or two past easter digging about in the garden. if we're often accused of being overly concerned with our performance apparel and style on the bike, it's only a short step to extend that to the apparently disassociated activity of gardening.
and that's oddly comforting.
tuesday 3 march 2015
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