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cutting remarks

the winter has brought on a level of faff hitherto unknown, when it comes to preparing for the sunday ride. bibtights are a far more onerous garment to don than their shorter brethren and i don't mind admitting that i often struggle to prevent the long-sleeve of my baselayer from ending up near my minimal bicep when pulling on a long-sleeve jersey. and should those merino collars be worn under or over the collar?

that, however, pales into insignificance when the weather opens up all manner of alternative conundrums. for instance, i had settled on riding the road bike to which are attached my road bike pedals (i like to be organised that way), entailing the wearing of compatible shoes, enveloped by a pair of toasty, toasty overshoes. a light covering of slippery frost on the car park engendered a modest front wheel slide, encouraging a hasty retreat to the bike shed to swap road for 'cross.

though by now you will be every bit as breathless and overwrought as was i, the trials and tribulations didn't quite stop there. the pedals affixed to the 'cross bike are not those attached to the road bike cranks, necessitating a speedy change of shoes, hampered only by the need to remove the overshoes and replace them on the alternatives. but the 'cross bike was bereft of seatpack containing multi-tool, tyre levers and spare inner tube, at which point more haste definitively morphed to a great deal less speed.

my preferred seatpack is held in place by a toe strap, the end of which is seriously frayed, refusing point blank to slide through the buckle. with time not on my side, i stuffed the pack contents into an empty rear jacket pocket, made my excuses and headed for the open road and boundless sky.

no matter the profile of that honed physique, no matter how many followers you have on strava, no matter how many bicycles there are in the bikeshed, at some point in your life, you're going to have to carry stuff. with luck, that stuff will closely resemble the modest accoutrements mentioned above and a jersey pocket will more than suffice. but as you will probably be well aware, at periodic intervals i have need of transporting home from debbie's a 3kg bag of green city jumbo porridge oats. no matter how hard i have tried, a jersey pocket is simply not going to cut the mustard, as we of the hoi polloi are wont to say.

if we're willing and happy to accept that the majority of us are not select members of nairo quintana's elite for next year's tour de france, but have more mundane occupations to fill, there's every likelihood that the stuff we'll have to carry will take all manner of shapes and formats. as a self-confessed photoshop practitioner, the worst it's ever likely to get for me is the need to carry a macbook air laptop computer, an item easily ensconced in the likes of a chrome industries barrage cargo backpack.

however, with the bicycle forming the basis of the revolution, all manner of folks with all manner of occupations could conceivably have all manner of odd paraphernalia that needs to be carried hither and thither. for instance, amongst celebrity and not so celebrity chefs, i believe there is a trend for owning and utlilising a set of ever so desirable kitchen knives, yet another item that scarcely fits easily into a jersey rear pocket. or a bicycle seatpack, come to that.

it's lucky you mentioned that.

portland's chrome industries sat down with renowned californian chef, chris cosentino, a man who not only knows his way around a kitchen, but readily admits to his bicycle obsession, and designed a chef's knife roll. this zipped and poppered heavy duty nylon and truck tarpaulin knife encasement will cheerfully carry a spinal tap equalling eleven kitchen knives. and since chefs are often entrepreneurs too, there's an easy access business card pocket and three utility pockets for multi-tool, spare inner tube and tyre levers, should you so desire.

the clever bit, however, relates to the carrying balance. it seems glaringly obvious to point out that whacking great kitchen knives are heavier at one end than t'other, so to ensure that the case sits correctly when carried, the handle is offset. a clever ploy methinks. there's every possibility that this carefully designed and constructed case will need to be carried inside the aforementioned barrage backpack when on the bicycle, if only to protect the insides from being slashed to ribbons by those fearsome knives, but even celebrity chefs have to favourably compromise somewhere down the line.

and i've a notion i could get more than a few pairs of drumsticks in one of those.

chrome industries' chris cosentino knife roll retails for $150 (approx. £112).

chrome industries and chris cosentino | video introduction

wednesday 13 december 2017

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